Feeling a bit upset.
Have been unwell for last few days. My face is covered in ugly rashes and scabs and have low energy. Should be ok in a week or two but for the time being I look pretty horrible.
Some relatives from my in laws just came over for five mins (never met them before as I got married recently) and asked to see me to which my mother in law said
oh no she won’t see you she gets anxious if even my sister comes over and yesterday I asked her to come on Skype to talk to my daughter and she would t even do that.
I felt like this was a bit of a harsh way to talk about me to someone who doesn’t know me and makes it sound like I’m silly for not wanting to see people when I’m unwell (and it’s not a headache or cold it’s something that has affected my appearance a lot) Also a bit insensitive to the fact that I am not well. She could have just said she’s not well and it’s not the best time to see her (they know I’m sick and what the issue is) I felt like all the other stuff was so unecessary especially about Skype and exaggerating that I panic if her sister is there (last time their family was over I just asked if it was khaloo only coming or Khala and family) I never expected her to talk about me to other people in a bad way so I guess I’m a bit shocked but then maybe I’m just being sensitive because I am ill and miserable. Would you girls be upset about this?
Re: Sickness sensitivities and in laws
Nobody want to share any advice?
Re: Sickness sensitivities and in laws
Just ignore, normally we feel our face is looking much worse than it really does to others. I don't think your mother in law was overly harsh or anything.
Re: Sickness sensitivities and in laws
My face looks like this at the moment 
NIHSeniorHealth: Shingles - Symptoms and Diagnosis
Re: Sickness sensitivities and in laws
Maybe I am being sensitive I guess. It's just I always say nice things about her to other ppl and I thought she did the same for me but was taken by surprise by the way she spoke about me.
Re: Sickness sensitivities and in laws
Doesn’t relatives and family come to see you if they know you are sick? What wrong with that? I have been sick multiple times, and families/friends if they found out or someone told them, they would come and see me to see how am I doing and inquire about health.
Your inlaws are pissed and you are blowing this issue out of proportion like all paki girls
Also, no one would judge you on your face. Its a rash, shyte happens, it will go away. You are sick and I understand you have low energy, you don’t have to get dressed up and come meet them, if they want they can come meet you in your room. But don’t make silly excuses
Re: Sickness sensitivities and in laws
didnt she do you a favor really?
tbh i wouldnt want to meet anyone in this state and would hate for my family to ask me to come and see guests or ask guests to go see me in my room.
Re: Sickness sensitivities and in laws
No one would judge you on your face? Are you serious? That's the first thing paki aunties are interested in. When my mother in law told her that I'm not coming she said ok show me her picture then I want to see what she looks like
Re: Sickness sensitivities and in laws
Yeah Paris luckily I didn't have to see them
but she knows if she brought the aunty upstairs my husband would be so mad as he has always said if we live here we need to be given privacy. I just think she didn't need to go into all this stuff about how I didn't go on Skype with her daughter blah blah. It's like she was trying to make me look bad rather than understanding that I'm unwell. Shingles is contagious and aneroid for elderly people like this aunty anyway
Re: Sickness sensitivities and in laws
No one would judge you on your face? Are you serious? That's the first thing paki aunties are interested in. When my mother in law told her that I'm not coming she said ok show me her picture then I want to see what she looks like
why are they coming to see you? haven’t they seen you before?
Re: Sickness sensitivities and in laws
Yeah Paris luckily I didn't have to see them but she knows if she brought the aunty upstairs my husband would be so mad as he has always said if we live here we need to be given privacy. I just think she didn't need to go into all this stuff about how I didn't go on Skype with her daughter blah blah. It's like she was trying to make me look bad rather than understanding that I'm unwell. Shingles is contagious and aneroid for elderly people like this aunty anyway
give that aunty a big hug and give her shingles and be done with it lol She won’t come again near you
Re: Sickness sensitivities and in laws
No one would judge you on your face? Are you serious? That's the first thing paki aunties are interested in. When my mother in law told her that I'm not coming she said ok show me her picture then I want to see what she looks like
You are surely being over- sensitive here. That's normal and its called "Curosity"
Re: Sickness sensitivities and in laws
Yeah I know about curiosity so fine she can see my picture I'm not complaining about her seeing me in my normal state. Idont want her seeing me in this state where I haven't even got out of bed so she can then go and tell everyone how awful bajis Bahu looks.
Re: Sickness sensitivities and in laws
No they've never seen me or met me before. They live somewhere else and were visiting our town for a shadi
Re: Sickness sensitivities and in laws
Yeah Paris luckily I didn't have to see them but she knows if she brought the aunty upstairs my husband would be so mad as he has always said if we live here we need to be given privacy. I just think she didn't need to go into all this stuff about how I didn't go on Skype with her daughter blah blah. It's like she was trying to make me look bad rather than understanding that I'm unwell. Shingles is contagious and aneroid for elderly people like this aunty anyway
it was a normal explanation to the aunty that her state is so bad that she didnt even want to show her face on Skype. your mother in law and the aunty are both women, we all understand how sensitive women can be on their appearance. in my opinion she helped you and instead of being thankful you are taking it on the negative.
So actually, you are being over sensitive.
Re: Sickness sensitivities and in laws
Feeling a bit upset. Have been unwell for last few days. My face is covered in ugly rashes and scabs and have low energy. Should be ok in a week or two but for the time being I look pretty horrible. Some relatives from my in laws just came over for five mins (never met them before** as I got married recently*) and asked to see me to which my mother in law said oh no she won't see you she gets anxious if even my sister comes over and yesterday I asked her to come on Skype to **talk to* my daughter and she would t even do that. I felt like this was a bit of a harsh way to talk about me to someone who doesn't know me and makes it sound like I'm silly for not wanting to see people when I'm unwell (and it's not a headache or cold it's something that has affected my appearance a lot) Also a bit insensitive to the fact that I am not well. She could have just said she's not well and it's not the best time to see her (they know I'm sick and what the issue is) I felt like all the other stuff was so unecessary especially about Skype and exaggerating that I panic if her sister is there (last time their family was over I just asked if it was khaloo only coming or Khala and family) I never expected her to talk about me to other people in a bad way so I guess I'm a bit shocked but then maybe I'm just being sensitive because I am ill and miserable. Would you girls be upset about this?
something does not seem right unless I am missing something...
Re: Sickness sensitivities and in laws
Hmm but Parisbynight if she said uski halat itni Kharab he ke she could t come on Skype I would be fine with her saying it but this was said in the way that I am weird for not wanting people to see me. That pic of the man I posted above that is how my face is not to mention exhaustion from fever etc.
Woman are sensitive about appearance. Especially if you are Newly married and meeting in laws first time. I don't feel comfortable being seen in public in my current state. That's just how I feel no one can change that
Re: Sickness sensitivities and in laws
Hmm but Parisbynight if she said uski halat itni Kharab he ke she could t come on Skype I would be fine with her saying it but this was said in the way that I am weird for not wanting people to see me. That pic of the man I posted above that is how my face is not to mention exhaustion from fever etc.
Woman are sensitive about appearance. Especially if you are Newly married and meeting in laws first time. I don't feel comfortable being seen in public in my current state. That's just how I feel no one can change that
i can totally understand you but elder women will want you to listen to them first.
I ma getting married in few weeks, my face has all of sudden started to get bad about six months ago and now my surprise acne is worst than ever :( I dont want to see anyone. My inlaws sister came last week and i did not want her to see me and was very sensitive about it but my parents had a big go at me for being weird and not wanting to see my inlaws due to acne only.
they scolded me infront of her by saying that i was giving my appearance so much importance.
i had an amazing evening afterwards.
so when i say you are being over sensitive, i say it from experience. [FONT=Calibri,Century Gothic][FONT=Calibri,Century Gothic][size=3]My ultimate advice is not to over think I what your mother in law said. She didn’t mean bad.[/size]
Re: Sickness sensitivities and in laws
Yeah I know about curiosity so fine she can see my picture I'm not complaining about her seeing me in my normal state. Idont want her seeing me in this state where I haven't even got out of bed so she can then go and tell everyone how awful bajis Bahu looks.
There is an easy way to deal with it and that is "stop caring about every random person how will he/ she judge you"
Re: Sickness sensitivities and in laws
Maybe she was a little insensitive. I would let it go. Don't make anything out of this.