It’s a weird feeling isn’t it? Abhi last day hi your sister was with you and you guys were laughing at something…making fun and now she’s married and lives with her husband? I never new this would be one of the most complicated phases of my life. It’s hard to get over with. It’s hard to see my own sister with someone else…who, apparently, isn’t a stranger and still wasn’t even before shadi but still. Seems so weird when I see them visiting us together and then leaving in a couple of hours.
I really liked my bro in law before they got married. He used to be with her in the university and I used to see him around a lot of times and we used to have a little chat. I always wished for them to spend their lives together because my sister isn’t compatible with many guys and didn’t have many guy friends. And now that they actually are together I really don’t like it when I see them aik saath. May be I’m jealous or may be I miss my sister or may be I’m too worried about her security…take it any way but I still can’t get over it. Even the phrase “Madiha ki shadi pe…” sounds so weird. Gives me a minor shock everytime I say or hear it. I’m the only person in our house who has been looking at her shadi photos every single day since she has got married (which was on april 9th). It has only been one week. Looks like they’re all fake. I know I’ll get used to it in a few days but right now it just seems impossible.
Now her attention is diverted…infact, divided. Now she’ll be more worried about her husband and ghar. Now she’ll mostly be thinking about what her husband wants to eat…where he is…when he’s coming back…when will they go out…etc. Is that all a woman’s life is about? First taking care of her parents, then husband and then kids? It’s just sad, really. Why can’t men leave their house, take care of his wife’s family, give birth, and then take care of his kids? Mostly women have to suffer the pain. Not fair.
Why can’t men leave their house, take care of his wife’s family, give birth, and then take care of his kids? Mostly women have to suffer the pain. Not fair.
I think it’s fair enough sweetie. See, many women wouldn’t wanna have to go out there to work. They would rather stay home and take care of the house, hubby, and her kids. You will get over it! And I am sure you will start liking their little visits after a while.
cant say anything in defence.. friend of mine for 2 years got married and all his life now revolves around is “yar begam intizar kar rahi hongi, chalta hoon”
whereas, same with my cousins (females) phase was that they would call 3-4 times/week and now.. months pass by
i guess, u think in ur head, nahi yar i wont be out from my family and friends i spent college days with, then u change karwat and see the partner’s face, sleeping beside u, and all u can think of is that wife/husband when awaken, what will we be doing? grocery/shopping/what?
Ya it is kinda scary. Sometimes even after my older sister had kids it was unbelievable that they were hers. I know it sounds crazy but I guess life changes so fast you feel like u missed a phase. Just thinking about me getting married scares me a lot! I just try to think of the way things will be afterwards and get freaked out.
Just don't worry about it. Just give her some time to cope with all the change. Good luck to you and her in the future..
my favorite cousin is talking about when she is going to get engaged and i dont want her to becauase after she gets married she won't have time for me and our fobby chats on msn, she'll be too busy taking care of her husband and poppin' out children.
I know how u feel Desty, when my fav cousin sister got married i was happy and sad at the same time, I knew I'd be losing my sister...I won't be her "cute lil dumpling" no more...same feelings came out when my best friend told me she was gettin maried, I just laughed and cried at the same time....happy, extatic and yet so very depressed.
Things are never the same after they get married youre no more a priority...and even if you are you're somewhere at the bottom of the list, it's like you get passed up, feels wierd, you understand yet you don't understand..sigh
I am fine, how about yourself? Thanks for the concern…things are somewhat being sorted out…I just pray to Allah to help me out. I guess the distance thing is a killer.
i feel bad that i can't give my younger sister as much time as i used to now that i'm married...i feel bad that i can't chill with her all day long...i know she would love for things to be the same as they were and i would like it too, while being married, but it seems like it just isn't possible...it makes a big difference that you don't live with your family anymore.
Dimaghoo:
Yaar I don't like the fact that when one thing is set one way it stays the same. Then it goes on and on through generations and even if we try to change a few things (which wouldn't affect much) we are still seen as sinners. Know what I mean? In short, I just don't like how this world depends on the way it has been working for ages. People don't let you change anything if you want to.
Faizy bhai:
I get the idea but it still hurts eventhough I have't gone through it myself yet.
Pyari:
You know it's gonne take my sister a while to have kids coz she's still studying. Probably 4 years. And the only thing that is going to take away this frustration is when she will have a kid. I can already feel that love for her first kid.
Sadzz & Majestic:
Please do. I never thought I would cry when she'll leave but I did. And I cried more at night before sleeping. It's so hard to see your sister go with someone else.
Fita:
That is exactly what sucks, I'll have to and eventually WILL get over it.
Sara:
I think it affects the whole family even if it's your brother getting married coz even his attention is divided...not to mention, more towards his wife. So, it's sad the either way. But then again it's good to have a new member in your family.
I guess if ur family is close and tight yeah it does have a lot of serious effects, but what if ur still not that close to em? i dont think there'll be much of a change...
im gonna miss my sis and bro... like heaps. My heart starts beating fast and i get depressed thinking of not having to share my bathroom with my smelly lil sis... shes so cute.. and im gonna miss our make up sessions before going to a party... awww
When my sisters got married, they moved overseas suddenly. I only see them 'married' when I visit them, and it is strange. Things are never quite the same, but at the same time your relationship grows and you appreciate your siblings more. The 3 of us were best friends...the relationship changes, but its not a bad thing.
See, many women wouldn’t wanna have to go out there to work. They would rather stay home and take care of the house, hubby, and her kids. You will get over it! And I am sure you will start liking their little visits after a while. 
