Re: Shyness<3
i'm very very very shy...aajtak kisii laRkii ko propose nahiiN kar paayaa aur isii chakkar meN buDDhaa huaa jaa rahaa huN...kaash maiN be-sharm hotaa...see be-sharmi pays [kam se kam biwi to mil jaati hai] hehe
Re: Shyness<3
awwww… i dunno what to say… 
but that does make me feel a little better 
im not the one to talk but you know what go out there and propose to the girl you like… it’s never too late 
Re: Shyness<3
**
aaaaaaaaawwwwwww…thankoo for the tip…but, i tried winking a few times. she had 6 brothers and they damaged my one eye as a result. ab maiN kaanaa ho gayaa to mere chances to vaise hii 50% kam ho gaye…ab maiN ki karaaN? 
hehe**
Re: Shyness<3
^ now winking isn’t a great way to propose… is it now… some lessons are learned the hard way
Good luck - you’ll need it 
Re: Shyness<3
**true…yep, thankoo i’ll need by the kilos…i’ve to protect my other eye. so, how did u overcome ur shyness? **
Re: Shyness<3
As you can see I’m still working on it… actually not to overcome it but I suppose to find a balance in keeping this trait and not letting it become a hindrance at the same time. I like being shy - it makes me me.
Re: Shyness<3
**
aaaaaaawwwwwwww i get it…u want the best of both worlds. actually, i was in fact a very shy kid but eventually grew out of it. now, i’m quite outgoing. i think u r right…u must strike a balance. over doing anything is detrimental in the long run. for girls, i think shyness enhances their feminity…am i right?**
Re: Shyness<3
** for girls, i think shyness enhances their feminity...am i right?**
No actually i don't see 'being shy' as a female trait at all... it varies from person to person...
You see Hazrat Usman was the most shy and Allah (SWT) liked that.
Re: Shyness<3
No actually i don't see 'being shy' as a female trait at all... it varies from person to person... You see Hazrat Usman was the most shy and Allah (SWT) liked that.
oh i see...i stand corrected. thankoo...so its ok if i revert back to my shyness? hehe
Re: Shyness<3
You're not a freak. You're an introvert...and introverts CAN be confident.
I think quiet people are often misunderstood....and their reserved nature may be percieved as snobby, mysterious, or at times underconfident by their more extrovert counterparts.
I've seen some outgoing individuals who don't hesitate whatsoever in speaking their mind.....and end up making comments that are not well-thought out or are offensive....it can almost seem like their mouth works faster than their mind has time to think....and it's an impulsive sort of over-confidence that is not always appealing.
Now about this Islamic scholar .....you're amazed that he only needs to hear a person's name to know about them. He might be very perceptive....but also keep in mind that most people can tell (through observation of body language, etc) if another person is more like an extrovert or an introvert. As a teacher, he notices which students are more involved/more vocal about their opinions...and which ones are more quiet. I think maybe what your professor meant by becoming more confident is for you to become more social (interact more with others...share your thoughts more) and not necessarily to be loud and talkative.
Re: Shyness<3
The professor meant self-confidence - to be confident about myself. I maybe lacking in that area according to him. I consider myself shy because i can't approach people first or be the one to start a conversation, I want to sometimes but its hard and awkward for me. I don't talk much around acquaintances or people I don't know so well and never open up easily while I see some of my friends do it with such ease. I am not very social more like socially inept at times but I do have few friends and am very close to them. I dunno if you would call that lack of confidence or shyness...
I think I've read that most of our communication is non-verbal. That said...if you feel uneasy about starting a conversation with someone you don't know....take smaller steps. Simply smile at the other person. It sends the message that you're approachable...others pick up on it and feel more comfortable...and it can lead to a conversation. Or instead of rushing to a conversation with people you barely know....try just smiling and greeting them....even simple comments like (Have a nice break, ec). You don't have to feel pressured to think of something to talk about.....you could start it off by asking an open-ended question about something in common. Like, "How'd you do on the test"...."What did you think of the assignment/lecture, etc"..."How was your break?" If you ask questions that only require a "yes" or "no" answer...the conversation doesn't flow as well. However if you...ask open-ended questions....the responder has to put more thought into it. So while they're speaking, you're listening and in the process you can venture your opinions to what they're saying. Plus when they ask you the same question in return....you'll have something to respond with. And it goes back and forth.
Re: Shyness<3
I use to be a shy kid but i always had the confidence and the spark in me just needed the right atmosphere and people to bring that out. Canada did me alot of good in this aspect and i still remember whenever i use to come back for holidays everyone use to comment how i have totally changed into a different and better person as i was not shy i.e opening up to people= friendly. I did great in oral presentations and projects like that. Now, i would definately call myself a confident person but i am still not very comfortable in large group of people esp when i don't know them too well. So there is that bit of shyness in me still but i wouldnt call it lack of confidence, its just lack of social skills maybe?! Lol. And often cuz of this i am labelled as arrogant but i don't care cuz people who matter to me, they sooner or later find out what i am.
So i would just advice you to evalute yourself. Do you think you are shy? or just vary of new people? there is a whole lot of difference between the two.
Re: Shyness<3
You're not a freak. You're an introvert...and introverts CAN be confident.
Yup a hardcore introvert i am... that explains a lot... esp when most of my friends are the extrovert type.
Now about this Islamic scholar .....you're amazed that he only needs to hear a person's name to know about them.
Actually he has this telepathy thing going on... maybe you've heard of him Prof. Rafique Akhtar. Quite famous. He needs to know just your name - i dunno what's it called the art of numerology i think - and he can tell exactly what kind of a person you are. I think he meant if i come out of my shell a little it'll help me succeed.
Re: Shyness<3
and he can tell exactly what kind of a person you are.
can you ask him about tips some tips for me ??
Re: Shyness<3
I think I've read that most of our communication is non-verbal. That said...if you feel uneasy about starting a conversation with someone you don't know....take smaller steps. Simply smile at the other person. It sends the message that you're approachable...others pick up on it and feel more comfortable...and it can lead to a conversation. Or instead of rushing to a conversation with people you barely know....try just smiling and greeting them....even simple comments like (Have a nice break, ec). You don't have to feel pressured to think of something to talk about.....you could start it off by asking an open-ended question about something in common. Like, "How'd you do on the test"...."What did you think of the assignment/lecture, etc"..."How was your break?" If you ask questions that only require a "yes" or "no" answer...the conversation doesn't flow as well. However if you...ask open-ended questions....the responder has to put more thought into it. So while they're speaking, you're listening and in the process you can venture your opinions to what they're saying. Plus when they ask you the same question in return....you'll have something to respond with. And it goes back and forth.
I do the smiling part - actually maybe over do it a little but yes the rest of the tips i could really use. thnx :)
Re: Shyness<3
can you ask him about tips some tips for me ??
Sure. Just give me your name.
Re: Shyness<3
Sure. Just give me your name.
Like serously right?
Re: Shyness<3
You're not a freak. You're an introvert...and introverts CAN be confident.
I think quiet people are often misunderstood....and their reserved nature may be percieved as snobby, mysterious, or at times underconfident by their more extrovert counterparts.
I'm a hardcore introvert and I can totally relate with the getting misunderstood part. People used to think I was just rude because I was too shy to even say salam to guests or other people I'd just met. What really helped me was once I started working, I was forced to change myself to talk and deal with people better, eventually I gained a lot of confidence in myself and started doing quite well in oral presentations, public speaking etc. But it still doesn't change the fact that any time I have to give a presentation I start ****ting my pants.
Re: Shyness<3
I use to be a shy kid but i always had the confidence and the spark in me just needed the right atmosphere and people to bring that out. Canada did me alot of good in this aspect and i still remember whenever i use to come back for holidays everyone use to comment how i have totally changed into a different and better person as i was not shy i.e opening up to people= friendly. I did great in oral presentations and projects like that. Now, i would definately call myself a confident person but i am still not very comfortable in large group of people esp when i don't know them too well. So there is that bit of shyness in me still but i wouldnt call it lack of confidence, its just lack of social skills maybe?! Lol. And often cuz of this i am labelled as arrogant but i don't care cuz people who matter to me, they sooner or later find out what i am.
So i would just advice you to evalute yourself. Do you think you are shy? or just vary of new people? there is a whole lot of difference between the two.
I was a very shy kid from the start myself. I too went to Canada stayed there for about two years and then came back. My confidence was shooting then. It has something to do getting a taste of the west i think... but i've always been reserved.
Yes I know i lack social skills... I have that from my dad, we're socially inept the both of us. But still my dad's pretty cool. People respect and like him a lot because i think he keeps his own. I on the other hand just blend into the background. I guess I need to work on my people skills w/t changing my personality too much. I am not shy around my friends... but with everyone else it's a completely different me. So here's my evaluation:
I need to get a job
I am an introvert: it's okay to be reserved
It's okay to be shy but I should work on my social skills
Re: Shyness<3
Like serously right?
only if you are serious