I’m extremely shy… esp around people I don’t know… I am ok with that about myself cuz it’s just the way I am. But a while ago this professor person (he’s like an Islamic scholar) said to my mom that if I only gain some self-confidence and come out of my shyness I’ll do great.
He just needs to know a person’s name to tell about them and he does that quite accurately too. So I did come out of my shell for a while… it was good… but couldn’t hold on for long and now i’m back in it. I guess it just goes against my nature… or may be i am just a freak
I mean I do a lot of confident things in my shyness - participate in competitions including debates, declamations etc, captain my uni’s bball team, give excellent presentations… but all from within my shell…
Now tell me is shyness always a negative trait in today’s world and times n all? Do you think confidence is always about being loud and eye contact and speaking up all the time?
If you are achieving all the things that you want to, then I don't think that it is a negative trait at all! Things like eye-contact in a professional setting etc maybe useful to work on, but if it is not holding you back, then really it is just part of your personality :)
IMHO, people that are always loud are actually quite annoying & if you are naturally not like that it probably would get exhausting having to put in so much effort to speak all the time.
IMHO, people that are always loud are actually quite annoying & if you are naturally not like that it probably would get exhausting having to put in so much effort to speak all the time.
Believe me sometimes i try so hard to make conversation, small talk n stuff even though it feels awkward but I do it because most people would take your shyness as being rude and think you are proud and full of yourself... but i know I am not like that and I try not to give off that vibe to others. Yes it's exhausting.
True. The interface is like a detachment for me - a safe barrier. But even here I think ten times before editing and putting up a comment… because i’m also paranoid - it comes with the shyness package
P.S: It’s different when someones like… in front in front of you (for everyone i guess…)
P.S: Why do I feel whatever you say is to *annoy?
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Believe me sometimes i try so hard to make conversation, small talk n stuff even though it feels awkward but I do it because most people would take your shyness as being rude and think you are proud and full of yourself... but i know I am not like that and I try not to give off that vibe to others. Yes it's exhausting.
Hmmm, in that sense I am probably a lot like you, however I believe that if you don't really have anything particularly useful to say, either to yourself or the person you are speaking to then it isn't much point of saying things for no reason. Additionaly, the people that are important to you will understand your personality so it shouldn't be a problem. All in all, you seem able to adapt yourself when required, so your shyness shouldn't be a problem :)
If you participate in debates and sport likes thing, that means you are a confident person. What did that Scholar meant by coming out of your shyness? and why do you call yourself shy? If pattar pattar baatain karna infront of elders or nagging on petty things is self confidence, then plz better remain shy. believe me no one likes that
but i think too much shyness does effect negatively when you are out there in the cruel world…sometimes you need to be bold and speak up…which shy people usually don’t do…resulting in them being sidelined sometimes…
The professor meant self-confidence - to be confident about myself. I maybe lacking in that area according to him.
I consider myself shy because i can't approach people first or be the one to start a conversation, I want to sometimes but its hard and awkward for me. I don't talk much around acquaintances or people I don't know so well and never open up easily while I see some of my friends do it with such ease. I am not very social more like socially inept at times but I do have few friends and am very close to them. I dunno if you would call that lack of confidence or shyness...
Okay PW, do you work? If not, then inshAllah you will over come your this shyness as well. Coz when you are doing job, working, or even running a business, you must need to get your point thru most of the times.
I dont know whats your age, but if u are in early 20s or even mid 20s, its just natural. Shows u are achi bachi
I learnt a lot when i came in practical life. Before I would talk too much, make too much noise, and end up doing what others would suggest. But now I only listen, talk less and do what i like In short practical life teaches you alot. You probably will find yourself a complete different person once you are in that phase for some time.
Aww really... but why is that so hard to believe...?
reason being this :D
True. The interface is like a detachment for me - a safe barrier
While working or 'practical lilfe' will push you away from shyness a bit......but you will still have to make an effort to do it........ it depends what sort of person you are.....there are some people who do adapt/change easily due to new circumstances.......some people can't.........so if you are the one who can change due to circumstances..adapt yourself.....then entering the job market will have an effect..........and if you are not like that........then it may continue this way ....
I think if you're overall a friendly and helpful person, people dont mistake you for being rude.
I am a little on the shy side when I meet people in real life. I get quiet for a bit until I know what Im dealing with...lol. But Im always friendly, smile, say hello and do what I can do help people.
As for shy being a problem. Well, its only an issue if you're letting it hinder your professional and personal success. Do you feel it is? Do you feel you could be better?
professional - I don’t think so, but personal maybe yes… That is in regard to standard expectations of people and stuff… otherwise i am quite happy the way i am really… okay for example (it does always come to this does’nt it) for when i get a proposal… (okay this is harder then i thought… :o)
I feel this pressure on me to be all open and talkative otherwise they might think i have no confidence whatsoever… and later i feel cheated by myself… man i have some serious issues
and why do you call yourself shy? If pattar pattar baatain karna infront of elders or nagging on petty things is self confidence, then plz better remain shy. believe me no one likes that 
In short practical life teaches you alot. You probably will find yourself a complete different person once you are in that phase for some time.
