Ok, so I have an aquaintance from our mosque. She’s very religious. She makes it a point to set herself apart as especially religious though. And it’s just very distinctive about her, slightly superior, holier-than-though. I recently found out that both her teens are dating. Well secretly. Her daughter has a boyfriend and I have to admit it surprised me. I was just like, “Ok, well, none of my business.” And moved on.
I’m assuming that she knows about both her teens. And her home issues may be why she isn’t so welcoming. So I’ve decided to just pray for her and not say anything to her. I hope she won’t one day be mad that I didn’t say anything. But now I feel awkward. If I see them in the future, I’ll feel weird, I’ll get quiet, I’ll look away. I’m not judgemental of people. But she’s the woman who called me a hypocrite because I don’t wear a scarf on my head. And now I’m choosing to not point out any of her family’s faults. I also recently led a workshop at our mosque about teen girl issues. And of course she and her daughters did not come. It just makes me sad that the mother’s extreme religious attitude could be actually pushing her kids away from her.
If your concern is with the wellbeing of her daughters and that they get the right guidance but don't want the lady to lose face by openly talking to her about it, especially due to past interaction, just drop her an anonymous note.
How do you know for sure that the daughter is dating someone? Just seeing her with another boy does not mean she is dating. Is there more to it than what you wrote in your initial post?
TLK, I don't know the reason for them not coming. But it was a really good workshop and a lot of the teens opened up. We all agreed to keep everything confidential. And we promised to be supports for each other like sisters.
:D ... see you lead the workshop, so you must be knowing how to deal with teen girls who are in denial. If she did not come to the workshop, why cant workshop go to her?
Just because the mother is a 'hypocrite', it doesn't mean you should judge her children. The girl may have a boyfriend but what if she's seeing someone with the intention of marriage? That's very common now, isn't it. In any case, it is their personal family matter. If you don't like the woman's attitude, just stay away from her. Why does it matter if she brought her kids to your workshop or not? She's a mother, she knows better how to raise them.
I have come across women here who criticized other kids in the masjid for everything possible, and their own kids were involved in wrong things like drugs, alcohol, sleeping around, etc. And even though that pissed me off as well as my friends who these aunties used to bother, none of us wanted to be on the same level as them or humiliate them or their families. It's their business, they can deal with it.
I personally think that you should steer clear of this. But if you want to do something about this I think that I sort of agree with X2, an anonymous note to the mother should suffice. You really don’t want to get into the drama of ‘he said she said’ especially if it’s a hormonally charged teenage girl…yikes!
Because workshop coming to her is an invasion of her privacy. And it would ruin her fun. I guess teens will always be teens even if they have religious parents?
Since you haven't provided any details, how bad is this teenage-daughter-dating scenario?
Is she involved with some wrong guy? Is she into bad things? Is he not a good influence on her?
Pareezay, I'm not judging her children. I'm observing an interesting trend. And I have already decided to not say anything to either her or her daughter. The daughter is 15 and dating a white guy, so I doubt it's with the intention of marriage! It's just highschool fun and flirting. Let's be realistic. And yes, it's their family matter that's why i'm not saying anything to them or even anyone at the mosque. I feel it's safer to discuss this issue here to better understand it for myself.
Umm my mums best friend has done hajj and wears hijaab. But her oldest daughter has been with a white guy for about 6-7 years (which she plans to marry) All the rest of her daughters drink go out and have boyfriends/flings. However the mum knows about it. Its their business and no one else's.
