Showing Appreciation

Lifestyle Relationships
1

I would like to ask how one shows appreciation towards their spouse as mine has stated I do not show any.

I mentioned flowers, gifts and going as well as thanks, kisses and hugs out but she stated these are not forms of appreciation.

2

Re: Showing Appreciation

In addition to gifts/vacations/spending time together…I think the #1 way my hubby and I appreciate each other is by verbal communication. Simply telling each other “thank you” or directly saying “I really appreciate you doing xyz”…telling each other we love each other etc.

:hinna:

Najeeb I think you know by now that your wife is a very…“special”…woman. Have you asked her what she considers to be forms of appreciation?

3

Re: Showing Appreciation

yeh kaheN:

"i LOVE you waaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy more than you can imagine!" :)

4

Re: Showing Appreciation

Your wife needs to mature. I cannot believe I am saying this as a wife myself, but this is atrocious behavior if your accounts of YOUR behavior are true, then she need not act like such a spoiled brat. U enable her.

5

Re: Showing Appreciation

Well I said I always say thank you etc and she said i am talking to her as though she is a stranger and thats what you would say to a stranger.

I just don’t get it…

She never told me how she appreciates me just that she will not tell me and neither is there a manual for it.

6

Re: Showing Appreciation

Things came to a head and we are currently apart from each other pending discussions on her behaviour.

7

Re: Showing Appreciation

^ This x 1000000!!!!!

8

Re: Showing Appreciation

WTH?! :eek: In her family, her parents, siblings etc…they never say “thank you” to each other?

The bold part above…what does this tell you about her personality and how serious she is about changing her behavior?

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Re: Showing Appreciation

It pretty much tells me that change in her behaviour is futile, it’s nigh on impossible if the person does not agree that there is a probloem to begin with.

10

Re: Showing Appreciation

So 'thank you' and such should only be reserved for strangers?

What happened to being polite and being well mannered?

11

Re: Showing Appreciation

Reason I also asked was because she mentioned that these cannot be forms of appreciation because we were (on the few occasions) spending time together before marriage and hence nothing has changed after marriage except that more of everything. I was like WTH. So things have to change after marriage.

What else was mentioned that beside working, providing food and money I am failing at everything else but I don't know what I am failing in and she won't tell me.

12

Re: Showing Appreciation

Have you tried grunting?

More seriously....maybe she desires verbal appreciation (compliments, etc).

13

Re: Showing Appreciation

I think she is softening you.... and will make some other demand in near future. If not then she is being childish and living in some dream world.

14

Re: Showing Appreciation

What if she as an example mentioned that once she put a piece of paper with some writing on and put in my work jacket for me to read when i got to work. This was a form of appreciation and all the above that I mentioned were not regarded as forms at all.

I am not getting it.

15

Re: Showing Appreciation

strange: and whats her mode of saying thank you and appreciating ur good deeds

16

Re: Showing Appreciation

Go all gangster on her and be like "Yo if you don' get yo shizz right up in here, ima go all jerry springer on yo a$$ and leave the eff outta here." She'll realize her mistake and beg you not to do that.

PS: This is a proven method and works 100% on Black, Hispanic, and some ghettoized chinese women.

Not tested on Pakistani women, results may vary. Exercise extreme caution.

17

Re: Showing Appreciation

I like simple things like "please" and "thank you". If your wife cooks, then praise her cooking in front of other people. I don't know, but I tend to like that. Buying things is nice, but I think words mean more in the end. Try to find the good in her, and tell her about what you've found. Share feelings and thoughts with her freely. Remember, Allah swt tells us that He's placed good in what we do not perceive to be good. Sometimes my husband will comment to his relatives how I pick out clothes for him that compliment him, or that I've cooked his favorite food. He'll even tell them that I reprimanded him for his poor driving, and now he's more careful. I do the same with my husband. He needs to feel appreciated too. People in general love to feel appreciated, respected, and loved.

18

Re: Showing Appreciation

I don’t know Najeeb…it sounds like you guys just don’t have that “chemistry”. :no:

19

Re: Showing Appreciation

Sorry to ask this question but do you guys have physical relationship ?

20

Re: Showing Appreciation

I mean something is really bothering her. There must be something that is irritating her really hard. If there is a problem there is a solution too. I mean if you both have good physical relationship than I don't think she would have such feelings towards you.