Re: Showing Appreciation
I mean something is really bothering her. There must be something that is irritating her really hard. If there is a problem there is a solution too. I mean if you both have good physical relationship than I don't think she would have such feelings towards you.
Hmmm.....I would say we have a very good physical relationship, definitely.
Like the movies :-)
Read The Five Love Languages. Not everybody speaks the same love language, but they can learn to express their love in the language that their loved one understands. It really is a helpful book.
Re: Showing Appreciation
Why don't you get off the computer and actually go talk to HER instead? Just talk! Work it out like a normal couple. Something is not right ... something's not adding up. Your wife's behavior is very odd. Personally, I don't think she's just a spoiled brat .. there's something else going on here ... she sounds very depressed. Please, just talk to her. Why don't you plan an out of town trip for a couple of days??
Re: Showing Appreciation
The problem with your wife is she wants you to love her the way she EXPECTS to be loved and appreciated. Based on her unwillingness to tell you how that should be, she resents that you don't just "know" what she wants. It's not enough for her that you love and appreciate her the way you think is the right way.
I'm probably the most vocally critical of your wife because based on your description, you are trying to understand a woman who won't communicate with you and won't help you understand - that makes her come across as immature.
Let's assume you do EVERYTHING the way she wants - stop socializing with your family, move homes, appreciate her the way she wants and spend time with her the way she wants, give her a car or access to a car, what is she going to give you in return? What of your wants and wishes is she willing to accommodate? Will she stop visiting her family for weeks on end (btw, I'm curious to know how many days/weeks she's spent back at her parents home since you've been married) - like has she spent roughly 1/10th or 1/3rd of your married life back at her maika?
Re: Showing Appreciation
You asked mods to close your previous thread but now you have opened a third thread of similar kind.
And I agree with wendy, please get off the computer and work on your marriage.
Peace!
Re: Showing Appreciation
The more of these threads I read from you, the more I feel like you are trolling us.
The part about having a "movie like" physical relationship doesn't jibe with the litany of problems she is having with you, like not wanting to sleep in the same bed, walking out at night, not talking to you, not talking to your family, etc. I smell catfish!
Re: Showing Appreciation
You asked mods to close your previous thread but now you have opened a third thread of similar kind.
For what its worth....he opened this thread BEFORE he opened the other thread (the one he asked to be closed).
Re: Showing Appreciation
The more of these threads I read from you, the more I feel like you are trolling us.
The part about having a "movie like" physical relationship doesn't jibe with the litany of problems she is having with you, like not wanting to sleep in the same bed, walking out at night, not talking to you, not talking to your family, etc. I smell catfish!
Weird extremely I know but a day or two after the issue we are completely back to normal or shall I say I try my best both physically and verbally to be back to normal otherwise naturally the aftermath will last for weeks and both will be miserable. Then we are back to normal but then another issue arises so I would say more often than not everything is fine unless she has an issue.
I don't know how else to explain.
Either way I didn't open this thread to discuss my problems, that was the other thread. I only opened it up to ask for advice on 'Appreciation' and the different modes of it.
Don't want and should not have gone off on a tangent, sorry.
Re: Showing Appreciation
Hmmm.....I would say we have a very good physical relationship, definitely.
Like the movies :-)
:D
i cant stop laughing.
ok now your previous thread makes sense to me. you picked up your satin pajamas and walked out of the room like richard gere in officer and the gentleman, and she stormed out like julia roberts in sleeping with the enemy.. <3
Showing Appreciation
I am not sure if this a real thread or not...something of the details are explicit leading me to believe it is real but other sound unusual ....they don't teach how to communicate with spouses in school or even the movies...something is off....wish someone close to both of you can help. This marriage definitely needs help.
Re: Showing Appreciation
:D
i cant stop laughing.
ok now your previous thread makes sense to me. you picked up your satin pajamas and walked out of the room like richard gere in officer and the gentleman, and she stormed out like julia roberts in sleeping with the enemy.. <3
LOL!!!
Re: Showing Appreciation
The problem with your wife is she wants you to love her the way she EXPECTS to be loved and appreciated. Based on her unwillingness to tell you how that should be, she resents that you don't just "know" what she wants. It's not enough for her that you love and appreciate her the way you think is the right way.
I'm probably the most vocally critical of your wife because based on your description, you are trying to understand a woman who won't communicate with you and won't help you understand - that makes her come across as immature.
Let's assume you do EVERYTHING the way she wants - stop socializing with your family, move homes, appreciate her the way she wants and spend time with her the way she wants, give her a car or access to a car, what is she going to give you in return? What of your wants and wishes is she willing to accommodate? Will she stop visiting her family for weeks on end (btw, I'm curious to know how many days/weeks she's spent back at her parents home since you've been married) - like has she spent roughly 1/10th or 1/3rd of your married life back at her maika?
This thread was about appreciation but I will respond to this before I ask for it to be closed.
Roughly a week ( 7 days) a month she has spent at her parents. Sometimes it is four days here and three then two and sometimes five days then one etc.
She will not stop visiting her family as she does, she has stated very vocally that just as I have responsibilities with my mum she does too and the fact that her siblings don't do anything in the house she needs to go there and help her mum so that she does not get over worked. Siblings are in their late 20's.
Recently she also mentioned she would be wanting to stay there a lot more because her sister, hubby and child also live there, she is pregnant with her second child and had complications with the first child so she will want to go and help. I stated that I agree with helping your family BUT your sister is off work, her husband does not work and your mum is a housewife and so how much help is actually going to be needed if there is one pregnant woman but two adults who can look after a child but she mentioned that the husband and sister don't really do much anyway so she will be wanting to go to help her mum because she will end up doing everything.
I really do want to say one thing. I love my wife and I would love to spend the rest of my life with her but when she says things like about going home and 'nobody will dictate to me when and how long I can visit my family for' I start believing this is normal behaviour for women.
I have stated to her that she should go and visit during the day and come back during the day but the answer was why should she, that I am an adult and I can cook for myself so it shouldn't make a difference if she is not here for a couple of days. Why should she move homes to stay with me and stop visiting her parents. I only stated that she can go as many times as she wants to visit but staying over should be limited but she wouldn't entertain that idea, even though they live around 20 miles away.
Re: Showing Appreciation
:D
i cant stop laughing.
ok now your previous thread makes sense to me. you picked up your satin pajamas and walked out of the room like richard gere in officer and the gentleman, and she stormed out like julia roberts in sleeping with the enemy.. <3
When everythingis ok all is good but when there is an issue then naturally.....
Re: Showing Appreciation
Mod could you please close this thread as I only wanted to know about different forms of appreciation from the posters.
Thank again everyone
Re: Showing Appreciation
noo mods please dont close this thread. i want more appreciation methods to be presented. this can be invaluable for all married men of gs. in fact, sticky this thread forever and ever please?
Re: Showing Appreciation
admin please change my title to gossip queen too, thanks.
Re: Showing Appreciation
.