Re: Should we change ourselves to find a husband?
If guys can sacrifice so much and install toilets, I don’t know what the fuss is about.
Re: Should we change ourselves to find a husband?
If you do not want to change, then don't.
And if they do not accept you then don't feel any grudge.
Don't marry with this man. Simple.
May you find people of your liking and they find the girl they are looking for.
Re: Should we change ourselves to find a husband?
Are men changing themselves to find wives?
Re: Should we change ourselves to find a husband?
I quit smoking in order to marry my wife. Good or bad is just a perspective, but it was a huge change for me. I was smoking two packets in three days. Not to mention the change my wife brought in her for me, but that is a different story.
I made that change because to marry a wonderful person like my wife, that change was a no brainer. I knew guys who grew beard because the girl wanted it.
Guys please, put your ego aside. Just like good girls, good guys are also quite rare. Dont deny a good rishta because of something as small as Hijab.
But I don't think tha'ts the same thing. smoking is a (bad) habit, not a set of values/beliefs.
something like beard/hijab = religious values/beliefs.
Re: Should we change ourselves to find a husband?
Yes, they do change,…
…until they get married.
After-all being consistent is also a virtue. 
Re: Should we change ourselves to find a husband?
Right. So I say you should wear a hijab , marry the guy. Then after marriage stop wearing it and say suck it. :k; get pregnant first sp he is tied to you for life.
Re: Should we change ourselves to find a husband?
^:hehe:
There are some women (and men) who do that anyways.
No wonder why divorce has become so common.
Re: Should we change ourselves to find a husband?
Thumbs up on quitting Sir 
.
Re: Should we change ourselves to find a husband?
TLK, you were probably on page with that goal. A non-hijabi girl taking on a hijab is a totally different ball game, you can't compare.
Then you're saying women who don't wear hijab are toxic like cigarettes.
Re: Should we change ourselves to find a husband?
The hijab should be worn for Allah and not because of force or coercion. Absent that force and coercion you will be back to not wearing it. Now if you have decided that you are not going to wear it then ask if it is OK that you do not. If no is the answer then find someone else. These things can cause serious problems later in marriage. Being at the same religious understanding is important.
Re: Should we change ourselves to find a husband?
I quit smoking in order to marry my wife. Good or bad is just a perspective, but it was a huge change for me. I was smoking two packets in three days. Not to mention the change my wife brought in her for me, but that is a different story.
I made that change because to marry a wonderful person like my wife, that change was a no brainer. I knew guys who grew beard because the girl wanted it.
Guys please, put your ego aside. Just like good girls, good guys are also quite rare. Dont deny a good rishta because of something as small as Hijab.
Comparing smoking with hijab is very odd comparison bayy. Tu ne apni bewi e liye kiya..lekin Hijab Allah ke liya hota hai...
First of all, the title of the thread says that should we change ourselves …,. The title did not talk about any specific change, so my answer is totally in par with the thread.
Second, a major number of sahaba/sahabiya became Muslim only because their spouse had converted and if they had not converted, the marriage would be nullified. Please find me one hadees that says that you can’t convert to Islam because of marriage.
Aap jese logon ne islam ko darakht pe tangaa hui patang bana diya hai, which is out of reach of common people. Instead of telling people that go ahead wear hijab or grow beard because of your spouse, we have become such great Muslim that we are stopping people by discouraging them to come towards Deen?
Let me ask you one thing. Are you Muslim because you chose Islam, or are you Muslim because you were born from Muslim parents. If latter is the case then your Islam is invalid per your logic. Tu Allah ke liye thori Muslim hua, tu tou apne maa baap kee wajah se Muslim hai. Quit the hypocrisy.
Re: Should we change ourselves to find a husband?
Woah. That's if you think hijab is part of the deen in the first place, or if you think it's even farz. Many people believe that it's sunnat, and if that even.
So I wouldn't suggest that a family who barely knows this girl, a guy who barely knows her, has any right to go around asking her about head coverings.
Like I said, plenty of hijabis around, who are single. Why not select from them?
You are not obligated to like every thing in Deen, but hijab is part of Deen and is farz. There is no confusion in ulema of any school if thoughts about it.
There might be two opinions about naqaab, but not hijab
Re: Should we change ourselves to find a husband?
What's up with "why can't he accept me the way I am"? Well can you accept any man the way he is or the guy in question, for that matter? No! So there you go. Indeed, it's you who need to change your mentality and respect others' wishes and desires. No one forced you to do anything.
Marriages aren't about romantic textbook fluff like "accepting" the way your partner is. Marriages are about give and take. You don't look for total acceptance from your partner (there's no such thing), you look for compatibility and areas where compromises can be made. Other than that, marriage is not a farz.....if you know what I mean.
Re: Should we change ourselves to find a husband?
No! You shouldn't change yourself.
Re: Should we change ourselves to find a husband?
Woah. That's if you think hijab is part of the deen in the first place, or if you think it's even farz. Many people believe that it's sunnat, and if that even.
So I wouldn't suggest that a family who barely knows this girl, a guy who barely knows her, has any right to go around asking her about head coverings.
Like I said, plenty of hijabis around, who are single. Why not select from them?
Like I say also, there are plenty of unmarried girls , why not select them, why go for a divorcee?
OMG are you indirectly trying to say that non-hijabis are diseased?
Kya yeh khula tazaad nahi?
Re: Should we change ourselves to find a husband?
If the change is for good then why not?
There is this friend of mine who used to wear niqab when we were in high school & she just quit wearing it after a year or two. Obviously when a rishta comes over to see you, you can’t just sit in front of them wearing a shuttlecock. Sometimes we have to change a bit to blend in a society because at the end of the day this is the society we live in & want to get married in too. We can’t just isolate ourselves.Kind a demand & supply thing. Showing a bit of flexibility isn’t bad “if” that is good for you.
Actually, I am going to take my words back and agree with the majority here. You should not change in order to marry anyone. On the same token, you are not obligated to marry at all. Remain a single. Enjoy your choices and your freedom. Why bother having someone in your life who might have expectations from you that are against the choices that you want to have for yourself.
But, if you really want to get married and live a happy married life, you would have to change. I have yet to see a rigid person in my life who is enjoying a happy married life.
Re: Should we change ourselves to find a husband?
If you feel that he's got demands that you don't want to fulfill, then don't waste his time or yours. If he's after a hijabi, there are plenty our there that he can find instead of you.