Re: Should the Niqab be banned?
I said I wear an abaya to the masjid during Ramadan when I’m serving 250 people iftar & dinner outdoors in 110 degree temps because it’s more comfortable and serviceable…I can wear a tank top and yoga pants underneath and don’t have to fool with a long dupatta. Abaya is not my only and complete dress code. When I’m picking and dropping my kids off for Sunday School I’m always in jeans or track pants and tshirt. When I take them for Jummah namaz on their days off from school I’m in regular work clothes that is masjid appropriate if I’m coming from an appointment myself. When I go for committee meetings, we usually don’t even meet at the masjid, but at a local coffee house instead. If I am the masjid for our monthly family nights then either I wear a lawn shalwar kameez or a long kurti and leggings. The only time I have ever witnessed a women be shunned at our masjid is when a lady was repeatedly showing up during ramadan in sleeveless low cut (to where her breasts were literally popping out) tops and skintight jeggings. Only then did a couple of women pull her aside and kindly ask her to put a jacket or something on over her top. When she didn’t comply, she was left alone. She continued to come dressed like that and even though she didn’t make any friends, she wasn’t tarred, feathered and stoned either.
Again, I’m sorry you had such a negative experience here, but my 40 years in this city vs your 3 years show that it’s not as bad as you’re painting it to be. The main masjid you were mostly going to definitely has a good 'ol boys club and is a tough nut to crack. It’s steeped in tradition and their is favoritism towards certain ethnicities, I fully admit that. I just think that it needs to be acknowledged it’s probably more the fact that you were single and didn’t have a familial connection and seen as a newcomer, so you were not taken seriously. Was it right, definitely not! But it’s hardly as doom and gloom as you’re making it out to be. There are many smaller,more progressive congregations that have splintered off from the mothership where you would have been more then welcomed.
I’d also like to add that no matter how open minded or progressive a masjid might be, certain dress code and decorum will always take precedence like separate mens and women’s areas, segregated meals and lectures, and expectations for women to dress a certain way (hair covered, arms and legs covered, not wearing revealing clothing)…these are things that will never change no matter how open minded or progressive a masjid is, wouldn’t you agree?