Should she get over it?

[lahorikudi]

Re: Should she get over it?

@Sahar02

^Then I think it’s for the best that you guys forget about him. Obviously they didn’t feel they could meet your expectations, and if they can’t, why bother pursuing them.

I agree with you. I was just wondering.

@chaibiskut

Red flag. A family who’s in a rush to secure a commitment - especially when their son isn’t financially independent - sounds shady. You’d think they were picking out a new futon, not considering a life-long decision. They’re not showing much sensitivity to the valid concerns of a potential wife and her father, either.

I was going to ask whether your sister sees any value in communicating with a guy to explore compatibility/attraction outside of his professional status, but that doesn’t seem to be a priority to him, even if it was to her. They’re treating this marriage business like most desis - a sterile transaction based on aligning people on paper.

Yes, too much pressure yaar. Being a man is so unfairly stressful. Who knew marriage entailed more than sunsets and sekshual adventures.

ps. If you’re still wondering, no they’re not interested. They may just be shopping around for an MD DIL who’s willing to sleep with and play wifey to their son without asking for a stable home in return.
Your sister should “get over it,” yes (though it’s unclear what there is to ‘get over’ since this doesn’t sound like a ‘relationship’).

Well my sister and the guy had been talking for a while so the attraction WAS there. my parents just wanted the job thing to be cleared up and it seemed like EVERYONE was on the same page with that when it was mentioned. Like I said, even the guy was really emphasizing that he understands my parents’ concerns and that he doesn’t want to bring a wife into the picture and have his parents support both of them. I think my parents wanted to put the brakes on it a little bit because things started moving too fast, considering the “unknowns” in terms of career and stuff and because we wanted more time to find info on the family.

I totally know what you mean about it not being a relationship, but I think my sister got kind of caught up in the sweet talking and communication. Obviously, she doesn’t share every intimate detail about their convo, but I think their regular contact over the course of a while is making it a little harder to just brush it off–especially because there seemed to be pretty good understanding until all the communication broke down. I’ve been trying to talk to her and snap her out of it and it seems like she was over it for the most part until a few weeks ago when we both randomly started getting fb friend requests from this guy’s cousins (8 months later) and now almost every week some new fake profile adds her and messages her asking if she “got into med school yet”.