should one feel offended?

[gudiaali]

Re: should one feel offended?

@mizsani

It has happened to me before and it was offensive.
First time, MIL and SILs had planned to to to the mall and that is understandable. However, they went out of their way not to tell me or my Jethani about it. MIL said she was going to SIL’s house to baby sit. Later, hubby brought it up at dinner how MIL had enjoyed at the mall. She was like, if I had known we were going to the mall, I would have asked you guys to come also." Hubby said, “But ammi you told me two weeks ago that you were going to the mall.”
Thus, MIL going to the mall with her daughters wasn’t a big deal because I wouldn’t have gone either way. However, her going out of her way to avoid inviting me and jethani was a bit weird.

At another instance, MIL didn’t even say bye when leaving, even though we were standing right there. Jethani and I went to the nearby grocery store and ran into MIL. It was pretty funny. MIL came upto me and said, “if you were coming here too, you should have told me. We could have came together.” I was like, " how could I have told you when you left before me, and I didn’t even know where you were going."
It is the hiding that she went somewhere that makes it offensive.

Hey, but why were you and your jhetani were expecting to be invited by her to the MALL? I find this weird. i mean going to malls is just so day to day thing that why anyone would even announce about going there?

well, instead of hiding i see this as having space, having independence. i don’t think that elders of the house are in any way bound to tell specifically to youngsters( be it the DILs or their own kids) where they are off to. if they want to share this information that is fine but if they don’t than i don’t find it offensive.