Sacrifice is a part of life...but LIFE is not sacrifice. Regardless of all the pressure that they might place on you, at the end of the day....it is YOUR decision and YOUR consent that is going to make this marriage take place....or not take place. So....you and the girl have the final say....can't blame it on the parents no matter how inconsiderate they might be....or how dysfunctional the marriage turns out.
Your parents might be upset at you for turning your cousin down....and they might be upset for a long time....**BUT **most likely they are not going to disown you. And with time, their anger will go away.
You're an adult and you have two choices. If you are 100% sure that you can never love this girl....then you can either:
1) Marry her and break her heart by not being able to reciprocate/fulfill her rights as a husband. And this will create more problems between the two families. And it's hardly fair because she deserves to be with someone who WANTS to marry her and can give her sincere love. And you deserve that as well.
2) You can stand your ground, tell your parents you won't marry her, and stick to your decision. Their pain and temporary anger will be much less compared to the heartbreak that will result from being unhappily married.
On the other hand, if you are not certain about your feelings regarding this girl, then the other option is to get to know your cousin....and you might possibly see her in a different light.
Please don't let your parents guilt to you into making a major life decision that you have no desire for. You are an adult and you should be treated in a mature way. Often times guilt trips are used as a means of control and that's not healthy. Refusing your parents' wishes is NOT a reflection of your ungratefulness toward them. Love and respect toward parents does NOT entail total and blind obedience.
Communicate with your parents in a calm manner. Tell them that you love them and appreciate all that they have sacrificed and done for you, that you can't ever repay them, and that you have no intention to be ungrateful. Tell them that you always felt you had the type of understanding/open-minded parents who loved you so much that you could share anything with them without having to worry about pressure. And then calmly proceed to explain your reasons for the rejection and the consequences for surrendering to something you're not into.
- Also, are you the ONLY son in your family? Perhaps your parents are scared that if you marry outside the family....that your wife will separate you from your parents (cause you to move away). Explain to your parents that their role in your life is different from the role of a wife....and that the two relationships can't be compared.....and they can never be replaced. Assure them that your future wife will not steal you away from them. Explain to them that arguments between wife and in-laws are natural in all cases....and they should be handled with an open-mind and disrespect will not be condoned at all.
If you already have a girl in mind, then explain to your parents why she'll make a good wife, good daughter-in-law, and good addition to the family.
Parental sacrifices and upbringing should be a result of unconditional love.....and when all these efforts are made for the sole purpose of having you strictly marry someone of their choice with little regard to your opinion.....it almost becomes like a business contract.
Seek help through prayer, think about your options and consequences. And communicate accordingly.