Should i wait for love or have an arranged marriage?

[Monk]

Re: Should i wait for love or have an arranged marriage?

Truth Hurts : Not the searching after but the running from...

tum khabi khabi itni gehrai meen chali jaati
tum terna naheen aata doob mat jana

[Monk]

Re: Should i wait for love or have an arranged marriage?

Brain says arrange it.

Heart says dsfhsfhkdhfkshdfkhfksfhdkshf.

lolzz

[Gr8Heera]

Re: Should i wait for love or have an arranged marriage?

@Iconoclast

Go for an arranged, you can always do a love marriage later

LOL You are right. But you have to have that much HIMMAT to do that.

@Sara516

First marriage should alwyas be an arranged.

Yeah baqi love marriages jitni chaho kar lo. First ko chor kay. Mazak lol.

@X2

maena

u have your requirements, now whether u meet that person on your own, or are introduced to him by a friend a some party, or by your parents at some community event, does it make a difference?

as far as your family goes, you should be open with them that just because someone meets all your prerequisites, does not mean u will find a connection, and on the other hand u actually may find a spark with someone who may not meet all of your prereqs.

i would suggest that if they ntroduce you to someone you are interested in, have some more meetings, get a chance to know the guy. I mean if u meet someone on your own u would need some time to get t know him anyways. dont go for something official until u have a good nuff feel.

its very simple actually.

Zabardast mashwara dia hai X2 nain aur main bhi yayhi kahnay ja raha tha.

Last para X2 ka zabardast mashwara hai.

@~*Shaz*~

You might consider trying out Shaadi.com too…maybe that might help ?

Just an idea

LOL I did. With my pictures now they bothers me keep sending me matching girls and I don’t want to say anything bad about that.

I wrote I want a mazhabi girl they send me girls with their open body and drinker and smoker. EWWWW. I asked parda nasheen they send me all baypardah khatoon about my age and older then me but all some looks more than 40.

I asked them not to send me any mail but they didn’t stop.

Oh yeah I get lots of mails. I family when my sister did video conferencing to see the girl the husband and wife (mother and father of girls are behaving like maniacs. Oh yeah the girl was very pretty. You know what that family said their girl is very religious and during video conferencing that girl was without duppatta or any scarf. They also send picture without duppata or scarf with tight dressing.

My sisters never ever walk around my father or brothers without dupatta.

Not a nice idea. I still have my picture at shadi.com lol

@Mamaof3

I agree with X2 here. I mean, if your parents are liberal then they will certainly understand your requirements, needs, wants. So its up to you to inform them of the type of man you’d be interested in. Its nice actually, if they go out and find a guy who fits your description!

As far as that “spark”…I think its important. To have a physical, emotional and intellectual attachment is just the best…sure true love will hopefully follow and once the initial flames die down a bit you’ll always have that super-special memory of those early-day flames in your relationship.

You work hard, you’ve acheived much, you expect much of yourself…so no need to expect less of a spouse yeah?

Sorry mama of three we Muslims neither other religions ppl are allowed to have a physical relationship without marriage.

We are allowed to see once to have a look but that one time looking can’t give us physical, emotional attachment. In my humble opinion

@sheyn

neither is a guarantee to eternal happiness …so why risk it !

Agree. It depends on both parties.

@candy_apple

It depends on how badly you want to get married. Do you feel as though you are ready and also WANT to get married RIGHT NOW? If so, the practical thing to do is meet guys through your parents - like people have said arranged is not what it used to be. What’s the harm in meeting guys to see if you “click”?

**I think everyone wants that “fairy tale” romance - they want to fall in love…**but you admitted that you have never been in love and unless there is a guy out there right now who is a potential “love interest” for you…you cannot just sit around hoping that someday you will meet someone. What if you NEVER fall in love on your own? Then what?

If you on the other hand are not in a hurry to get married then you can wait to see what happens…but one peice of advice I always give my single friends…you will NEVER find love if you go LOOKING for it…it always happens when you are least expecting it, because true love happens naturally.

You understood the main problem of maena and her sisters. They want a fairy tale romance and we all know true love happens naturally.

Sitting under the tree and waiting for a gr8 guy to come and make you fall in love. In reality it doesn’t happen. It only happens in fairy tales.

What if guy comes across by chance and she fall in love but that guy doesn’t fall in love and don’t like her then what? He also meets all the criteria of her.

@nadz123

remember both are a gamble, and nothing is gauranteed.

i opted for arrnaged, and to be honest i prefer it this way, you get more parental support and theres more of a backbone if you ever get into trouble within your mariage. love marriages i find are always riskier, from what i know.
remember you never know wht someone is like until you dont live with them and are not married, so love or arranged doesnt guarantee anything. sometimes you can know someone for 10 years, that doesnt guarantee anything…

so take a risk and believe in allah

Wow zabardast post.

Agree with the blue line.

Zabardast baat in purple line.

Subhan Allah for the red line.

@sheyn

Truth Hurts : Not the searching after but the running from…

Exactly.

@NightVision

The biggest difference.

In love marriage, if anything goes wrong anywhere, you are all alone, by yourself.
In arrange marriage, if anything goes wrong anywhere, you are not alone, everyone will be there right beside you.

Be wise…

In above posts it already been said " Love just happens, if it can happen before marriage, it can also happen after marriage too "

Zabardast post.

@Straight_up

Brain says arrange it.

Heart says dsfhsfhkdhfkshdfkhfksfhdkshf.

Totally agree.

I would say.

Dil dewana bin sajna kay maanay na
Yay pugla hai (dimagh kay) samjhanay say samjhay naa

[Reha]

Re: Should i wait for love or have an arranged marriage?

I say go for an arranged marriage...tell your parents your requirements, sit back and relax. :)

[Gr8Heera]

Re: Should i wait for love or have an arranged marriage?

Maena dear thanks for asking this question and letting us tell you things to help you.

First I like your being very truth and realistic.

Your sisters as one poster said are waiting for fairy tales love which only happens in stories only.

Tell them to come out from Cinderalla mandir or cage or whatever or dream or khiaali pulao.

Kaheen prince charming affair kay chakkar main baal hi sufaid na kar lain aur baad main apni nadani pay roaain.

Shukar hai kay aap apni bahnon ki nisbat kafi samajhdaar hain.

Pehli baat to yay kay jub love 12 say 16 saal kay darmiaan naheen huwa jo kay love shove ka daur hota hai to phir to love shove hona zara mushkil kaam hota hai. It all depends.

Jahan tuk love ya arrange ki baat hai to jaisa kay auron nain kaha hai guarantee to kisi ki naheen hoti. Yay to sub aap ki qismat pay depend karta hai agar qismat main achcha insaan likha hai to zaroor milay ga chahaay love ho kay arrange.

Mairay ghar main to jinhon nain love marriage ki hai donon miaan biwi aik doosray ko maar kutai kartay hain. lol Main nain aisa hi daikha hai. Jis main ghar walon ka koi kisi qism ka involvement naheen hota. Meri bahnon ko arrange marriage hai shadi say pehlay daikha tuk naheen tha. Wedding day hi aik doosray par jo bijliaan gireen ho gi aik doosray pay.

Masha Allah achchi chaal rahi hai. It all depends aap chalana chahain shadi ko to buray aur budtameez insaan kay saath bhi sari zindagi guzara kar sakti hain na chahain to zara si baat pay bhi chor sakti hain.

Meri bahnain masha Allah budttareen daur say guzreen. Kia kuch naheen huwa un kay saath per masha Allah sub kuch bardaasht kia ub masha Allah aish kar raheen hain husband kay saath hain. Ji haan ussi husband kay saath ub masha Allah khush hain.

Love to ho bhi sakta hai naheen bhi. Kisi aik party ko ho sakta hai aur doosri ko bilkul bhi naheen. Love hona to door ki baat hai nafrat aur dushmani bhi ho sakti hai. Aur kia pata pehlay to love ho jaay laikin baad main uski harkaton aur sulook say sara ishq ka bhoot manon mitti talay dub jaay. To kia karain gi.

Meri aik bahan. Fall in madly love with the arranged person. Didn't see him before marriage just a picture. She was like crazy in his love but that guy didn't love her. Now she don't love him that much as he has been keep hurting her all the time.

Mera to mashwara hai. Love kay chakkar main to parna hi naheen chahyay. Kisi kay bhi naheen siwaay Allah, Rasool, Quran kay. Baqi sub love baykar hotay. General love to her Allah ki makhlooq say karna chahyay balkay bepanah karna chahyay. Laikin opposite shuks say hargiz na karain. Kaheen bhi love ka sila naheen milta hai. Dukh dard aur takleef kay siwa kuch nahee.

Aap pehlay yay ghor karain ya sochain ya samjhain kay aap sub say ziada importance aap kis baat ko deteen hain. Wo shakl o soorat hai, taleem hai, qud kaath hai, daulat hai, rungat hai.

Aap ko khud pata ho ga Wo tamaam baatain jo aap chahteen hain aur preference deteen hai wo apnay parents ko bata dain kuch to wo khud bhi samajhtain hon gay laikin phir bhi aap sub kuch bata dain. Aur clearly kah dain kay aap ko aisa larka chahyay. Koi sharam na karain. Jaisay agar aap handsome larka chahteen hain to aap bata dain parents ko is liaay kay yay aap ka huq hai. Aap nain sari zindagi saath rehna hai.

Jub wo sub baatain ya aap ki pasaan larkay main milaain gi aur khaas tor say wo jis ko aap sub say ziada ahmiaat deteen hain to aap khud bakhud fall in love ho jain gi like cindrella. Pooray yaqeen kay saah kah raha hoon. As it happened to my one sister. She told everything to my parents but what she preferred most didn't tell my parents but my parents knew that what she prefer most so they found according to her preference. She fall in love with him without even seeing him.

Tell you truth first love yah daikhtay hi jo click kar jaay wo to looks hota hai ya chahray ka koi aik part jaisay aankh, naak, gaal, hont waghaira.

So think what you like most eyes, eyes color, face color, naak, hont, gaal. Tell your parents.

I'll suggest don't look for love don't ever ever ever fall in love. You know why when you fall in love with the person and mostly other person doesn't fall in love then he keep hurting you. Because of love you get hurt and forgive. He keep you hurting and in love you keep forgiving. That destroy you.

Better not to fall in love. When we fall in love we behave like blind. When we don't fall in love then we deals with the situation like normal person. Falling in love might make you crazy, and or abnormal in the end if other party don't love you at all.

So try to remain normal instead of abnormal.

Love to saath rehtay rehtay khud bakhud ahista ahista hota rehta hai.

You know what nikah hotay hi khud bakhud aik doosray kay dil main aik doosray kay liaay mohabbat ho jaati hai. Kitni hoti hai yay person pay depend karta hai per hoti zaroor hai kum ya ziada.

So mera mashwara hai don't look for love in your side. You should choose the person who loves you. He will treat you like Cindrell. If you love the person he doesn't he will treat you like a junk.

[CM]

Re: Should i wait for love or have an arranged marriage?

Send me your pictures and measurements. We shall chat afterwards. This is a most serious problem.

[Mamaof3]

Re: Should i wait for love or have an arranged marriage?

*Sorry mama of three we Muslims neither other religions ppl are allowed to have a physical relationship without marriage.
*

I was talking about after marriage, Gr8. I'm not an idiot.

We are allowed to see once to have a look but that one time looking can't give us physical, emotional attachment.

Yes my point was if that one look sparks no physical interest at all, its not likely to happen later. That was a concern expressed by the poster and she's right.

[NJMasti]

Re: Should i wait for love or have an arranged marriage?

Brain says arrange it.

Heart says dsfhsfhkdhfkshdfkhfksfhdkshf.

LOL - you see - heart doesn't make sense anyways...!!!!!

dsfhsfhkdhfkshdfkhfksfhdkshf - is a language of confusion, misunderstanding, utter non sense lol

Go with what brain pours out!

[Lois_Lane]

Re: Should i wait for love or have an arranged marriage?

maena

u have your requirements, now whether u meet that person on your own, or are introduced to him by a friend a some party, or by your parents at some community event, does it make a difference?

as far as your family goes, you should be open with them that just because someone meets all your prerequisites, does not mean u will find a connection, and on the other hand u actually may find a spark with someone who may not meet all of your prereqs.

i would suggest that if they ntroduce you to someone you are interested in, have some more meetings, get a chance to know the guy. I mean if u meet someone on your own u would need some time to get t know him anyways. dont go for something official until u have a good nuff feel.

its very simple actually.

Man, you always hit the right cord.

Maena: Like X2 said, sometimes you find the man with all your requirements but it just so happens you dont find yourself clicking with him as you thought you would.. on the contrary you end up clicking with someone who has the least of what you are looking. So, its upto you what would you want to choose that time, the man you clicked with or the requirements you were lookin for.. I would go with a man i clicked with =)

[sheyn]

Re: Should i wait for love or have an arranged marriage?

tum khabi khabi itni gehrai meen chali jaati tum terna naheen aata doob mat jana

thats why i need a lifeguard :D

[Lois_Lane]

Re: Should i wait for love or have an arranged marriage?

@NightVision

The biggest difference.

In love marriage, if anything goes wrong anywhere, you are all alone, by yourself.
In arrange marriage, if anything goes wrong anywhere, you are not alone, everyone will be there right beside you.

Be wise…

In above posts it already been said " Love just happens, if it can happen before marriage, it can also happen after marriage too "

I don’t know why people STILL think like this

[NightVision]

Re: Should i wait for love or have an arranged marriage?

Maena dear thanks for asking this question and letting us tell you things to help you.

First I like your being very truth and realistic.

Your sisters as one poster said are waiting for fairy tales love which only happens in stories only.

Tell them to come out from Cinderalla mandir or cage or whatever or dream or khiaali pulao.

Kaheen prince charming affair kay chakkar main baal hi sufaid na kar lain aur baad main apni nadani pay roaain.

Shukar hai kay aap apni bahnon ki nisbat kafi samajhdaar hain.

Pehli baat to yay kay jub love 12 say 16 saal kay darmiaan naheen huwa jo kay love shove ka daur hota hai to phir to love shove hona zara mushkil kaam hota hai. It all depends.

Jahan tuk love ya arrange ki baat hai to jaisa kay auron nain kaha hai guarantee to kisi ki naheen hoti. Yay to sub aap ki qismat pay depend karta hai agar qismat main achcha insaan likha hai to zaroor milay ga chahaay love ho kay arrange.

Mairay ghar main to jinhon nain love marriage ki hai donon miaan biwi aik doosray ko maar kutai kartay hain. lol Main nain aisa hi daikha hai. Jis main ghar walon ka koi kisi qism ka involvement naheen hota. Meri bahnon ko arrange marriage hai shadi say pehlay daikha tuk naheen tha. Wedding day hi aik doosray par jo bijliaan gireen ho gi aik doosray pay.

Masha Allah achchi chaal rahi hai. It all depends aap chalana chahain shadi ko to buray aur budtameez insaan kay saath bhi sari zindagi guzara kar sakti hain na chahain to zara si baat pay bhi chor sakti hain.

Meri bahnain masha Allah budttareen daur say guzreen. Kia kuch naheen huwa un kay saath per masha Allah sub kuch bardaasht kia ub masha Allah aish kar raheen hain husband kay saath hain. Ji haan ussi husband kay saath ub masha Allah khush hain.

Love to ho bhi sakta hai naheen bhi. Kisi aik party ko ho sakta hai aur doosri ko bilkul bhi naheen. Love hona to door ki baat hai nafrat aur dushmani bhi ho sakti hai. Aur kia pata pehlay to love ho jaay laikin baad main uski harkaton aur sulook say sara ishq ka bhoot manon mitti talay dub jaay. To kia karain gi.

Meri aik bahan. Fall in madly love with the arranged person. Didn't see him before marriage just a picture. She was like crazy in his love but that guy didn't love her. Now she don't love him that much as he has been keep hurting her all the time.

Mera to mashwara hai. Love kay chakkar main to parna hi naheen chahyay. Kisi kay bhi naheen siwaay Allah, Rasool, Quran kay. Baqi sub love baykar hotay. General love to her Allah ki makhlooq say karna chahyay balkay bepanah karna chahyay. Laikin opposite shuks say hargiz na karain. Kaheen bhi love ka sila naheen milta hai. Dukh dard aur takleef kay siwa kuch nahee.

Aap pehlay yay ghor karain ya sochain ya samjhain kay aap sub say ziada importance aap kis baat ko deteen hain. Wo shakl o soorat hai, taleem hai, qud kaath hai, daulat hai, rungat hai.

Aap ko khud pata ho ga Wo tamaam baatain jo aap chahteen hain aur preference deteen hai wo apnay parents ko bata dain kuch to wo khud bhi samajhtain hon gay laikin phir bhi aap sub kuch bata dain. Aur clearly kah dain kay aap ko aisa larka chahyay. Koi sharam na karain. Jaisay agar aap handsome larka chahteen hain to aap bata dain parents ko is liaay kay yay aap ka huq hai. Aap nain sari zindagi saath rehna hai.

Jub wo sub baatain ya aap ki pasaan larkay main milaain gi aur khaas tor say wo jis ko aap sub say ziada ahmiaat deteen hain to aap khud bakhud fall in love ho jain gi like cindrella. Pooray yaqeen kay saah kah raha hoon. As it happened to my one sister. She told everything to my parents but what she preferred most didn't tell my parents but my parents knew that what she prefer most so they found according to her preference. She fall in love with him without even seeing him.

Tell you truth first love yah daikhtay hi jo click kar jaay wo to looks hota hai ya chahray ka koi aik part jaisay aankh, naak, gaal, hont waghaira.

So think what you like most eyes, eyes color, face color, naak, hont, gaal. Tell your parents.

I'll suggest don't look for love don't ever ever ever fall in love. You know why when you fall in love with the person and mostly other person doesn't fall in love then he keep hurting you. Because of love you get hurt and forgive. He keep you hurting and in love you keep forgiving. That destroy you.

Better not to fall in love. When we fall in love we behave like blind. When we don't fall in love then we deals with the situation like normal person. Falling in love might make you crazy, and or abnormal in the end if other party don't love you at all.

So try to remain normal instead of abnormal.

Love to saath rehtay rehtay khud bakhud ahista ahista hota rehta hai.

You know what nikah hotay hi khud bakhud aik doosray kay dil main aik doosray kay liaay mohabbat ho jaati hai. Kitni hoti hai yay person pay depend karta hai per hoti zaroor hai kum ya ziada.

So mera mashwara hai don't look for love in your side. You should choose the person who loves you. He will treat you like Cindrell. If you love the person he doesn't he will treat you like a junk.

GOOD JOB :)

[Monk]

Re: Should i wait for love or have an arranged marriage?

thats why i need a lifeguard :D

well you life guard can hardly safe his own life :(
not a very good swimmer.

[Gr8Heera]

Re: Should i wait for love or have an arranged marriage?

GOOD JOB :)

Thank you very much. Aap ki mohabbat ka kamal hai bus.

[zobia]

Re: Should i wait for love or have an arranged marriage?

get good education, find work and then get marry.

cuz no matter what, you have to handi choola anyways :D

[Gr8Heera]

Re: Should i wait for love or have an arranged marriage?

get good education, find work and then get marry.

cuz no matter what, you have to handi choola anyways :D

LOL you are right.

But Handi choolah bhi ziada bahtar achchi taleem wali kar sakteen hain.

[zobia]

Re: Should i wait for love or have an arranged marriage?

LOL you are right.

But Handi choolah bhi ziada bahtar achchi taleem wali kar sakteen hain.

handi cholay ka taluk taleem say nahi, cooking say lagao say hai :p

its a knowledge itself.

but these days ppl dont understand this so put it in their lingo.

[Gr8Heera]

Re: Should i wait for love or have an arranged marriage?

handi cholay ka taluk taleem say nahi, cooking say lagao say hai :p

its a knowledge itself.

but these days ppl dont understand this so put it in their lingo.

Cook say lagao + Using skills from own. (Educated ppl can do things better if they have lagao for that thing.)

[Straight_up]

Re: Should i wait for love or have an arranged marriage?

LOL - you see - heart doesn't make sense anyways...!!!!!

dsfhsfhkdhfkshdfkhfksfhdkshf - is a language of confusion, misunderstanding, utter non sense lol

Go with what brain pours out!

Ahhhh. So much easier said than done!

Working on it ma'am.

[Aliyish]

Re: Should i wait for love or have an arranged marriage?

Do what ever you could afford doing ! be it an arranged marriage or a love one ! just don’t regret doing after, what you have done !