should i tell her he used to like me before he married her?theres a reason!

Lifestyle Relationships
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OK well my sister in law married my cousin…shes also a cousin but 2nd cousin or whatever. anyway before she married him, he used to like me and did so for many years until i was 16, he was 20 i think…and then at 23 he married her, anway i didnt think of mentioning this to her, but lately she has said things like oh he told me he only ever loved me ( her) and etc and also shes very undermining of people, she feels that everyones jealous of her ( for unknown reasons, yet to be discovered by scientists) and she constantly tries to outdo me…and talk to me not only me but others even my mum, she seems almost disrespectful and seems to think shes in her own league…most annoyingly how she thinks her husband is the best thing since sliced bread. and i dnt want to tell hr just because he merely liked me, but because he was abusive and tried all sorts of things with me until i told him to **** off and had the courage to stand up for myself…i was only 10 when it started and 16 when i managed to get the balls to tell her to get lost…and finally i was over it, but his wif who is just as p**s taking as him, i sometimes feel the urge to topple of her crown and tell her exactly what her hubby used to be like,

i guess this is another contrversial thread, lol…its3am here and im in ***** mode…

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Re: should i tell her he used to like me before he married her?theres a reason!

NO....dont go in too much details..just tell her that u used to talk him as a cousin..thats it..

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Re: should i tell her he used to like me before he married her?theres a reason!

The reason why she constantly feels the need to brag, compete with, and outdo others is because she's INSECURE.

You may not realize this but SHE WANTS you to get mad at her. Because if you mouth off to her.......she's going to naturally assume that you're JEALOUS (and this assumption will make her very happy). I don't think you want to do give her that satisfaction.

So either ignore her OR try this strategy: The next time she brags, say something like, "You know, I'm very happy for you and as a sister I wish you the best in life." This will show her that YOU are MATURE and not interested in competing. It might make her reflect on her actions and help calm the raging fire of insecurity within.

ABOUT HER FIANCE: The guy has moved on with his life, so there is** no need** for you tell her that he used to like you. Maybe he truly believes that she's the only girl he ever liked. Sometimes when we reflect over our past crushes, we realize that they were NOT love at all.

BUT.......please ask yourself if this guy has mended his ways? Has he changed? Or is he still an abusive jerk? If he's still abusive....**PLEASE find a way to tell her. **Consider telling an elder (your mom perhaps) who could hint to your cousin's mom about this guy's potential for being abusive.

No matter how annoying your cousin might be, no woman should have to tolerate an abusive marriage. Do the right thing. If there is potential for harm....let the girl and her family know.

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Re: should i tell her he used to like me before he married her?theres a reason!

i dnt know what hes like with her. he seems mellow now. whatever he tried to do with me was because i was not his wife...i doubt the same thying he tries to do with his wife she will not find abusive if you know what i mean...

and honestly i just wana tell her just to shut her up, because im really annoyed at her at the moment...and i know this sounds catty.....

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Re: should i tell her he used to like me before he married her?theres a reason!

Gotch-ya. I know what you mean now. You're talking about unwanted and imposed advances that are only valid within the context of marriage.....which he will soon be entering. And if he's mellowed down and become a more mature person, then just let it go. No need to inform of his previous crush and uncontrollable (snubbed by Nadz) hormones, lol.

I know what you mean about the cattiness. Some people just don't bring out the best in us, do they. But I know you're above this, Nadz. Don't stoop to her level. If you do, then what difference will there be between you and her? Just don't hang around her. Avoid her. When she brags, be happy for her. When she sees you avoiding her, maybe she'll get the message that she's turning people off.

But if you really really really really want to snub her.....then while she's yakking her mouth bragging about her glory...........just quietly smile at her, then yawn, then get up to leave, and excuse yourself by saying** the following:****

"Pardon me for having to leave in the middle of yet another of your long and self-glorified rambles, but the delight of more a humble company awaits me. But do carry on as always."** ( a subtle and classy way of making her reflect over her behavior without using obscene language)

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Re: should i tell her he used to like me before he married her?theres a reason!

LOL LOL ......wow im not classy, id rather just kick her in between the eyes....

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Re: should i tell her he used to like me before he married her?theres a reason!

Don't kick her, girl! Then she'll go around bad-mouthing you for kicking her. You'll get your ass kicked by family.

And since she loves talking about herself, she'll tell people how you're jealous of her and play herself up as the undeserving VICTIM.

It'll do your more damage to your reputation in the long run. Just get your point about her pathetic idiotic behavior in a sophisticated way.

Believe me Daaaahling.....when you use classy language, it makes you look intelligent. And your intelligence will piss her off!

Think "Jane Austen" when you want to snub her. Besides you British are known for using language in a catty/classy way. Trust me, she'll get the point.

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Re: should i tell her he used to like me before he married her?theres a reason!

wow its been a long time since we brits have been compared to jane austen......but yes i know what you mean......i wouldnt really kick her, shes 6ft tall and has a bulky appearance, i would probably crap myself if i ever came near to being even midly abusive...lol....i guess yawning and turning around and ignoring her will work ....

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Re: should i tell her he used to like me before he married her?theres a reason!

there is no need to reveal something which never actually happened. ppl whom u have less importance in your life, stay away from them and their bragging.

besides, your cousin is married and having such a character wife…lol. who will make you married life and also her own married life, miserable.

ps. if she says he said that she is the most beautiful women, then you tell her yes you are, especially the food you make is the best…and give the chumcha and she will make the handi for you :hehe:

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Re: should i tell her he used to like me before he married her?theres a reason!

I wouldnt mention anything because you are getting married and you need to live your life. If you interfere in someone elses life..they might pay you back..and you are already have to balance things with your own fiance.

Let them live their lives, happily or unhappily and you go and enjoy all those wonderful gifts your fiance got you.

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Re: should i tell her he used to like me before he married her?theres a reason!

maybe she's unhappy in her life or her husband isn't all that nice to her that she tries to ease her pain by bragging about it. sometimes those things make people happy, give them a chance to escape reality for a while and just maintain a happy face in front of people. i say you let it go, let her say what she wants. maybe she has serious issues in her marriage which she tries to cover up and it will be very kind on your part to just let her have her moments of happiness. you have your own engagement/marriage to worry about which from your threads seems quite shaky itself. so don't ruin someone else's relationship by bringing up the past, i am sure you wouldn't like it either if someone did it to you. concentrate on your own, that's where you need to invest your energy.

Womanhood
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Re: should i tell her he used to like me before he married her?theres a reason!

i know...but im a b**tc sometimes....and i really wana smack her one too....oh yess i think someone said i was immature......oh hell, i guess i am at times......although youd be surprised if you ever met me...id be matured to perfection....LOL

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Re: should i tell her he used to like me before he married her?theres a reason!

You have a wonderful husband who loves you and wants to pamper you with chai and gifts. You have a Master's Degree. You have your health and your family. You've a lot to be thankful for. You don't need to wast time on pathetic people.

Feel sorry for the girl, Nadz. Pity her. Can you imagine how extremely FRAGILE she must be on the inside since she feels the constant need to show off?????
She's soooo insecure and that is huge burden to live with. Constant insecurity is huge huge burden to deal with. And it takes its toll on one's health and relationships.

Believe it or not, she probably doesn't have very many friends if she bombards them with the same toxic behavior as well. It's a sad life. Just smile, yawn, and avoid.

Doing more than that will make you appear jealous and insane. And she'll thrive on that. Don't feed her!

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Re: should i tell her he used to like me before he married her?theres a reason!

yeh your right, if i feed her anymore, god knows where she`d be, she already looks like a rugby player! and im actually scared of her, shes very tall 6ft, and broad and looks scary, i think she finds my 5ft4 and gorgeous face threatening...your right, il jsut avoid her.!

LOL.

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Re: should i tell her he used to like me before he married her?theres a reason!

there's no need to pity anyone or feel sorry for anyone. you wouldn't like it if someone did that to you, why would you wanna do it to someone else? why can't you just not care and let her be? don't you have important things in your life to be thinking about or doing? and not to be rude or anything but it's really wrong to look down upon someone or their sad life or their looks. despite of her being broad or whatever, you shouldn't be making snide comments about her looks or her life.

you're gonna meet alot of people like her in your life, best thing you can do is not let anyone get to you or you will never be happy because you'll be too busy wondering what to do to them.

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Re: should i tell her he used to like me before he married her?theres a reason!

hmmmm these comments are not snide....i called her a body builder to her face! and she called me a ****** first....lol...this is our relationship folks..
she once said to me that i needed to go for a walk and lose some weight..i was like size 10 then......silly cow....so i told her she needed to stop taking the look like mike tyson pills and stop scaring little children...

There's a zombie
There's a zombie
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Re: should i tell her he used to like me before he married her?theres a reason!

LOL!!!!!! OMG. Smile, yawn, walk-away. Believe me....the strategy infuriates people. It's effortless and effective.

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Re: should i tell her he used to like me before he married her?theres a reason!

NO WAY..for God's sakes don't let your silly sibling fued ruin a relationship...

you know what? Who cares what he did when he was goddam 16? He was probably some immature kid...and besides? are you insecure when she says 'he only loved/loves me?'

WHAT DOES A 16 YR OLD KNOW ABOUT LOVE? Let her have her moment. If some girl came up to me when I am all loved up with hubby and said, 'your husband fancied me when he was 16' I would laugh! But I would have no respect for the person who would say that to me...

also you wouldnt like it happening to you...so be a bit mature and ignore it! Unless you ARE jelous of her happiness, and want to show her that you are wayyy better than her that her OWN husband even fancied you. makes you think doesnt it?

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Re: should i tell her he used to like me before he married her?theres a reason!

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Re: should i tell her he used to like me before he married her?theres a reason!

damn you have problems, and I wanted to suicide, that gives me hope :halo:

:smiley: :smiley: :smiley: