Actually i have a little situation where i m not sure if i have taken the right step or not… Secondly its only my side of the story so you people have the right to believe it with a bottle of salt…
Actually i m around 27 and i have been chatting for some 10 years now on the net.. but i have just kept this chatting to only chatting, never met any of my contact, never shared picture and never voice chatted with them… but recently i sort of realised that i was getting closer to one person, although i m not too heavily on virtual life.. and try to keep a balance in real life and virtual life… So i don’t think it is some infatuation type of thing.. although it can be.. and i don’t use chat rooms too..
Anyway i have been chatting with her for like 3 or so years.. and i realised quite a good characteristics in her.. and i enjoyed chatting with her… and if for couple of days she doesn’t show up i realised i sort of miss her too.. never been like this for anyone else.. So at the start of this year i told her that i do like her and i feel i can’t just continue as “just friend”… and i won’t mind sending my parents over if she can accept to it…
and her reply was that she is committed… anyway i didn’t knew that… and we never chatted on that subject at all… and she sort of wanted to continue the chatting part but i ended it immediately… but even after couple of months i have not been able to get over it properly… i know i can’t continue as just friend and i don’t want to be dishonest either…
So the question is not should i continue just chatting… cuz that is surely something i m not going to do.. but the question is: suppose if she likes me too should i ask her or push her to talk to her parents and atleast ask them to meet my parents once…
and secondly is it right to ask somebody to break a committment…my mind tell me its wrong.. but my heart tell me if she is not into him too much then why spend the life unhappy and with regrets… so why not just ask her and give it a try so that atleast we know we tried our best…
so far i m abstaining from talking and mailing and trying to get over it and forget her..
ps. it isn’t that she told me this directly but i m assuming those things from her last two mails.. and my assumption can very well be wrong…
Well the thing is that when you told her about your feelings for her, she told you that she is commited and all...if she was also interested in you she could have discussed it further with you. I assume she didnt talk much on it with u, rite?. So that perhaps tells she is satisfied with her commitement to that guy!?!. If you really wanna try your luck than maybe ask her about it if you at all stand any chance.
I think i can understand your situation...i havent myself been in such a situation but i know how people get talkin to other people on net and strike a friendship and than it turns into something more. I am personally against the whole online relationship thingy but thats not really what we are talking about here so i wont elaborate on that. BUt ya what amazes me is that if you have been talking to her for three years that does mean you guys did get quite friendly and comfortable with each other, than howcome she never told you about her engagement or commitement to this other guy.
Ok just as i was writting ^ i thought about another possibility which is that maybe she was lying to you about her commitement thingy because she wasnt comfortable in having a relationship with you or say anyone online. I bet most people who talk on net and make friends don't take them as real friends or atleast wouldnt trust them as they would their real life friends.
Anywayz, whatever you decide to do...best of luck from my side. And i wish whatever is good for you both happens :).
This whole virtual relationship bothers me . What if she is a he and she/he wanted to keep you at a distance ? What if she is paraplegic and did not want to break your heart ?
How can you fall in love with electrons ? Why I say that ? The chat is only the electrons displayed on the screen as text typed by other person. So what you are seeing is electrons not the person. You are matured man of 27 how can you be so childish to fall in love with someone who's whole personality is behind a smokescreen and all you know about her is what she told you. It can be a facade.
I think you're right to abstain from it all. Once you start doing those things again, every chance is that you will get carried away and would develop even stronger feelings for her. Best is to just keep it this way- you have made your point clear to her, just stick to it.
Well the thing is that when you told her about your feelings for her, she told you that she is commited and all...if she was also interested in you she could have discussed it further with you. I assume she didnt talk much on it with u, rite?. So that perhaps tells she is satisfied with her commitement to that guy!?!. If you really wanna try your luck than maybe ask her about it if you at all stand any chance.
I think i can understand your situation...i havent myself been in such a situation but i know how people get talkin to other people on net and strike a friendship and than it turns into something more. I am personally against the whole online relationship thingy but thats not really what we are talking about here so i wont elaborate on that. BUt ya what amazes me is that if you have been talking to her for three years that does mean you guys did get quite friendly and comfortable with each other, than howcome she never told you about her engagement or commitement to this other guy.
Ok just as i was writting ^ i thought about another possibility which is that maybe she was lying to you about her commitement thingy because she wasnt comfortable in having a relationship with you or say anyone online. I bet most people who talk on net and make friends don't take them as real friends or atleast wouldnt trust them as they would their real life friends.
Anywayz, whatever you decide to do...best of luck from my side. And i wish whatever is good for you both happens :).
Yes you have done a very good analysis and only thing bothering me that if she was committed why she used to chat so long with me..? but u r right she may just have lied...
This whole virtual relationship bothers me . What if she is a he and she/he wanted to keep you at a distance ? What if she is paraplegic and did not want to break your heart ?
How can you fall in love with electrons ? Why I say that ? The chat is only the electrons displayed on the screen as text typed by other person. So what you are seeing is electrons not the person. You are matured man of 27 how can you be so childish to fall in love with someone who's whole personality is behind a smokescreen and all you know about her is what she told you. It can be a facade.
Yes thats wot i m surprised too.. why i fell for it.. but may be she really is as good as she seemed to be on chat... anyway i think i have to get over it.
Hey...ur welcome and i m happy u realised soon enuff what u need 2 do:) Gud luk all the way:biggthumb
may be i knew the right thing to do but was just trying to find a lame excuse to go on the wrong way... its nice to find good people helping you to stay on the right path...
Well no point playing a loose game bhoy … it’s a lucky dip and my man you haven’t got much choice here . So let it go and get over it ..
The million £ question here is ..
Was falling for some one online an err on your side ? no it is not …. If once ya made a mistake it doesn’t mean that you are a mistake .
But for the love of mike keep yourself on an even keel …. And do smell the lamp before popping such questions in future ..
Just on a curious side .. why it took ya like 3 years to pop that thingy… If I were you .. would have done it in 3 days … well you had the stew in your own juice :D
keep your chin up brother....if she hadnt told you that she was committed for three years ( and she obviously had her reasons not to tell you/or lie) than your better off.. It will take time....but these wounds do heal in the end!
You did the right thing but not talking to her anymore!