Should I or should I not..date

Lifestyle Relationships
1

Thanks for your help.

2

Re: Should I or should I not..date

First of all welcome and why do you even consider dating non-muslims?

3

Re: Should I or should I not..date

There is no shortage of men, both Muslim and uncircumcised. Go and have fun. Your limitations are totally self imposed.

4

Re: Should I or should I not..date

Dont pretend to be dumb. The paki guys who dont give you a second look are looking for a rishta, not dating. The dating/hooking up is a completely different realm from the arrange marriage rishta marketplace. Wouldnt worry about being 15 lb overweight because obese girls can get laid left and right.

5

Should I or should I not..date

From the religious perspective: casual dating is haram, however formally and respectfully getting to know someone for marriage is permitted, on the condition that he is a (pious) muslim.

Pakistani Perspective: '' despicable behaviour. Where are your parents??''

My advice: expand your social circle to include more muslims/ pakistani. That way you wont feel so ashamed or isolated, and might even find what you are looking for!

6

Re: Should I or should I not..date

You're not missing out on anything by not dating.

And all those other guys, they're just friendzoning you. So you give them the friendzone vibe too. As for why right guys don't give you a second look, well...to be honest, stop trying to act like you want them. I'm not saying you are actively doing it, buuuhhh as a girl I getchu where you're coming from. Believe me, the moment you stop giving a damn about "omgosh all my friends are dating and I'm not what am i to do?" you'll be alright.

7

Re: Should I or should I not..date

  1. What’s the reason behind being overweight? Single, working professional living in a big city…what is preventing you from going to a gym regularly and being in the best shape possible?

  2. As a woman who says she’s confident and says it like it is…I’m amazed that you choose to continue talking to guys about personal matters who make you feel pathetic. Why? I know that when I decide I don’t want to discuss a particular topic, NO ONE, certainly not some acquintances, can push me into doing so.

  3. What is your goal in dating a non-Muslim? Even if they’re looking for LTR…are YOU willing to marry a non-muslim? And physical involvement will definitely be an expectation with that relationship…are you ok with that too?

  4. You can be a confident/honest woman without being rude. This whole attitude of “I say it like it is” is B.S. I know plenty of girls who comes across as rude/mannerless bit*ches and their excuse for it is that “oh I’m upfront and just say it like it is and people can’t handle it”. :rolleyes:

When you meet people (girl or guy) and are in the beginning stages of getting to know them…learn how to communicate your views without coming across as rude/aggresstive. Pay attention to your tone, body language, and facial expressions. Think before your speak.

  1. Do you not have any female friends in your big multi-cultural city? There’s not any mosques or any other Islamic groups there? Around Eid or ramzan, there aren’t melas or other social events? Whatever profession you do…there is no networking events for those? Your close social circle should be people who respect your beliefs and values…not people who make you feel pathetic. You gave us plenty of examples of what a few non-Muslim guys tell you. Other than your cousin, what other advice do you get from other women in your social circle?
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Re: Should I or should I not..date

Thanks for your help.

9

Re: Should I or should I not..date

Old perv here, I guess I will just move along then :( shuffles away while kicking a can

10

Re: Should I or should I not..date

^ I disagree.......you're not old.

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Re: Should I or should I not..date

^ But he’s a perv? :eek:

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Re: Should I or should I not..date

eagerly awaiting GS's verdict so I can pounce on this haram hottie with a phd

13

Re: Should I or should I not..date

:konfused: So you don’t want to even consider paid rishta aunties but have been using a matchmaker? What’s the difference?

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Re: Should I or should I not..date

Being perverted doesnt matter*, agar shakal bhaiyon wali na ho*.

15

Should I or should I not..date

'in the middle' ? Either they have reverted or they havent. Theres a big difference in that you can consider the former but not the latter...

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Re: Should I or should I not..date

Sounds like you're under peer pressure? Let me guess, they must have at some point also expressed their displeasure about why you don't drink, hit the clubs etc? It's one thing to question you out of curiosity while being respectful of your beliefs and another thing to ask the question in a way that makes you feel like you're stupid for making those choices. In one ear and out the other. Don't start dating non-Muslims just because these guys think you're missing out on all the "fun". Yes, do expand your social circle beyond the Pakistani/desi community and do get to formally know other non-Pakistani Muslims, there's nothing wrong with that if the cultural differences aren't an issue for ye. The reverts are usually better Muslims than most of us because they've researched the religion well before making the decision and it takes a lot of faith and commitment to a religion for you to convert. If you're personally okay with dating/marrying a non-Muslim well then that's your choice, go for it but know that it isn't permissible and the marriage would be invalid from an Islamic perspective.

17

Re: Should I or should I not..date

am i the only one really annoyed by how badly organized the first post is? what is the list of men in there for? i can't figure it out. also where are the girls in your frands list? are there any? if so, what are they like and why don't they feature in this list?

i dont get the newly reverted bit either. but i think what your non-muslim frand is trying to say is, you aren't religious, you don't have a guy, you are nearly 30. most of those who arent settling down yet at least have been in a relationship or two, you will soon end up too old for typical arranged stuff and too naive for other forms of meeting people.

18

Re: Should I or should I not..date

there must be something in u that all of them reveal too much. I mean something positive in you :-)

19

Re: Should I or should I not..date

Honestly I feel like I'm reading about my life reading your post. I'm in the exact same boat. People are often amazed at the fact that I'm still not married. I also have similar concerns if I should date but then I don't feel comfortable with the idea. I honestly just wish I find someone out of the blue!

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Re: Should I or should I not..date

I'm just here to find out what the thisish means at the end of your username.