Hi Guys,I am very confused and upset and any advice would be appreciated.Well a few months back this family came to see me for a rishta. However, we did not hear from them after that, it had been about 5 months. They have recently come back and said they would like the boy to come and meet my whole family again. My mum has agreed and he will come later this week.The annoying thing is that I found out from his aunty that he was already engaged to a doctor here in the UK and broke the engagement coz ‘the girl is short’…I don’t think that’s a good excuse but anyways, I am 5’3 so Im not tall either.His mum has been looking for Doctor Girls for him… (And I am not a doctor)I am confused whether I should go ahead and meet him or should I just say No straight away before him or his family get serious??? Or before my family start to pressurise me …..Please help
Re: Should I keep quiet or say something?
I find it quite hard to believe that his earlier engagement got broken due to height. Their has to be more to it.... obviously if he got engaged to a doc she cnt be 15 that he went ahead with it hoping she wud grow taller. So yah that doesnt even make sense! If i were in your place, i wud think hard over it and if possible try and find out more about it and if need be even ask his parents. But did they tell u abt his earlier engagement or u guys found out on yr own? if its the latter than all the more reasons to nt trust them.
The thing is they kept u as a backup option hoping to find someone "better" in these 5 mnths but since they cudnt they r back hoping yr lack of being tall and a doc would cover up if the guy likes you for your beauty or whatever. So it is a tricky situation! I dnt know if them comin 2 u again is such a bad thing because its like how most people shop, i know nt a great comparison bt yah thats how most people work, unfortunately.
If i were in your situation, i would weigh the pros and cons of this rishta and base my decision on it to whether to go ahead with it or not.
Re: Should I keep quiet or say something?
His parents do not say anything anymore. His mum said to my aunty that I would never force my children but then shes the one who got him engaged to this doctor. His parents have said that they would like him to talk to me on the phone and make his own decision. She went to pak and found another doc but that doc rejected them and married her bf. Maybe now they are in shock cz the mum said 'girls livin in pakistan cannot be trusted nowadays'. I dont knw whether he will tell me himself or not... I have said to mum to think about it and she has left it all to me now. I dont want to get engaged to him and then later on he says that Im not tall enough for him.
Re: Should I keep quiet or say something?
sheesh you haven't even talked to him and you're being just as judgmental as he was (according to gossip)
Give him a chance
Re: Should I keep quiet or say something?
that is exactly wht my mum said Kakee....but y did hs mum not tell us bout his previous relationship (engagement) when she came to our house ... Doesnt this sound suspicious? didnt we have a right to knw? :s
Re: Should I keep quiet or say something?
they r confused…ur confused and now i m confused for sure! 
wish u goodluck though…hope things work out for u, iA :).
Re: Should I keep quiet or say something?
lol...thanks zareen. They are definately confused.... Im not even sure If I wanna go ahead with this rishta process again.... It so time consuming....But thanks for your advice.... made me feel alittle bit better about this whole situation.... :)
Re: Should I keep quiet or say something?
that is exactly wht my mum said Kakee....but y did hs mum not tell us bout his previous relationship (engagement) when she came to our house ... Doesnt this sound suspicious? didnt we have a right to knw? :s
You don't know if this gossip is true or not. Is there anything else wrong with him? Except for the gossip?
Re: Should I keep quiet or say something?
no, nothing else is wrong with him...its just this gossip.,...i feel like im 'plan B' for him cz he cudnt find any1 else in these 5 mnths hes just crawling back to me....
Re: Should I keep quiet or say something?
no, nothing else is wrong with him...its just this gossip.,...i feel like im 'plan B' for him cz he cudnt find any1 else in these 5 mnths hes just crawling back to me....
Ask his parents if his had prior relationships and i don't see why you have to condemn a person for that. and its their right to not tell you. besides you haven't talked to him so you shouldn't judge him before you meet him otherwise its just unfair.
Re: Should I keep quiet or say something?
ur right kakee... so when i do actually talk him...should I tell him tht iv heard all this frm the 'aunties' or should I wait for him to tell me himself?
Re: Should I keep quiet or say something?
^ but thats life. some people need to see the whole variety in order to makeup their mind that what they have selected is the best, Some dnt! I know easier said than done but i guess this is how it works n if we accept it the better if not then we can stand our grounds n choose nt to go ahead with such proposals.
im tryin 2 put myself in yr place n think......i dnt think my major issue is them comin 2 me after 5 mnths but its more to do with his earlier engagement which they didnt disclose abt. yes, they cud have wanted a doc and someone taller but with time n experience they probably realised that other things like a stable person is more imp hence they have decided to go back to the options they had earlier rejected.
Re: Should I keep quiet or say something?
Judging someone without seeing . . . not wise . You'll never know if Allah put some good in it unless you give it a go .
Re: Should I keep quiet or say something?
OMG! Zareen.. tht makes sense nw... Namaan..i have met the guy but havent really talked to him in private yet...
Re: Should I keep quiet or say something?
ur right kakee... so when i do actually talk him...should I tell him tht iv heard all this frm the 'aunties' or should I wait for him to tell me himself?
nothing uglier than a person jumping the gun. anyway I think you should wait till you've had a normal conversation with him and see if he's sane not just on paper and when you two are comfortable and the prior supposed engagement bothers you ask him if he had one :P and if he says yes ask him why?
Re: Should I keep quiet or say something?
I read somewhere "opportunities come for everyone but only wise one take them"
Re: Should I keep quiet or say something?
Namaan....Ur right...this is a gud opportunity but its just little things which bother me...if im being honest with some1 I would expect the same from them aswell.... thanks kakee...i will defo follow your advice
Re: Should I keep quiet or say something?
msha22, you need to talk to the guy few times before you can make up your mind.
Lets see if he tells you about his engagement or not. You have all the right to ask him. Don't judge a person unless and until you meet the guy. It was just an engagement. They might have broken up for reason other than the height. But if you find the guy ok and your family doesn't find anything suspicious after the investigation, you can go ahead with the proposal.
Investigation is very important when finalising a rishta, whether there was a previous engagement or not.
Re: Should I keep quiet or say something?
wht kinda investigation ashy???
Re: Should I keep quiet or say something?
personally I would meet him - people may have mis interpreted what he wanted in the past and if someone takes a while to find their partner our society starts labelling them and eventually rumours start that they want a model or a very tall/ very fair blah blah blah kinda girl when really the guy may just want someone he clicks with.
Its hard to click with someone first time you meet them and you were obviously at the back of their minds the whole time for them to come back to you - give the guy a chance - there could be a 1000 reasons behind the delay.
Good rishtas are hard to come by - im not saying marry him but at least see what he has to say :)