Should I go back to my husband?

HEERANJHA · July 9, 2011, 6:56pm

Re: Should I go back to my husband?

You do not live together and haven’t for 3 years. He does not support you or his kids. In my view, you are already divorced. The only thing lacking is the piece of paper saying so.

You say he is a good father, and yet he does not support his kids financially, nor does he provide structure or discipline. I’ll bet he doesn’t care a hoot if they do their homework or brush their teeth even. He does not even support himself. That is not my idea of a good father. He must be a good man, to be a good father, because your son will become him. What kind of role model is he? (I’m not speaking from a lofty height here – my ex is the same way.)

Your daughters will become you. Remember that. So how you live your life, what kind of person you are, will be the biggest factor in who they become. Do you want them to be women who are put down and kept down, who put up with whatever a guy shovels onto them? Or do you want to pattern in them a person who struggles through and has self-respect and standards, a woman who brings up her children and does the needful to live a righteous life in this world? Do you want them to support a loser whose only claim to fame is that he has a Y chromosome? Because you are showing them how to be. So make a choice. Although, as I said in the first paragraph, I think you already have.

You all live in the UK and they may well choose their own spouses anyhow, when the time comes. And they can’t do any worse a job than your parents seemingly did for you in that dept, eh?