Should I feel insecure?

[BusyBee]

@Scherbatsky

@BusyBee

If I was single initially or after getting divorced? I have thought about divorce but I really can’t see myself living w/o him. I don’t know how to explain. I’m not an independent personality at all. May be it’s due to the fact that I dealt with so much since I’ve been with him. I’ve faced their humiliations even before I was married but he used to tell me they will change so I took the step to marry him.** I really can’t make decisions for myself. And now that my mom has already said to basically tough it out, I** just feel devastated.

I had a very different thought to share with you before I read this part. I was about to harp on about taking your life by the neck so that they really have no choice but to respect you. I was also going to ask why does it have to be between your mom’s house and his house - why rule out the third and probably the best option - your house, find a job and start your life from scratch again with all the wisdom and lessons you’ve learned. And then some more about living with dignity and self-respect taking precedence over pretty much all else including having the marriage tag.

But then I read this post and…you’ve apparently labelled yourself and come to terms with your situation.

On another note, your MIL is making up for the loss of her teen years and for the 15 years her husband didn’t spend nor live with her. Some vicious cycle, isn’t it.

P.s. you can make decisions for yourself - that’s how you got married to this guy on the first place, remember.

I haven’t accepted to stay in this situation but it’s hard to let go after 11 yrs and in a community like ours. Like seriously, what chances do I have after being married for 6 yrs and w/o a kid. People are probably gonna think he divorced me coz I couldn’t have kids or something. I can’t spend my whole life alone like that! That’s not the only reason though. I mean I really wanna work it out with him but I’m just stuck!

Yes MIL is probably making up for all those yrs. btw, FIL used to visit them every year for 3-4 months while he was here. She never stayed with her in-laws though. She was at her moms. No one from her in-laws talks to her, I mean not even one person! Apparently they all had problems with her. It IS a vicious cycle!!