I dont think you should be that surprised. I know of a few stories in Pak, where the guy found out on his wedding night that his bride isnt a virgin. All of those stories ended in the same way, the guy took her back to her parents, and the marriage was over :-/ .
vaisey, it is a question that is valid. Take Roman here for instance. He is a v eritable chick magnate, but some how he has remained a virgin. Go figure!!!
I think women should ask the question that needs ot be asked..."how big is your peepee?" Any response that doesn;t "measure up" on sughaag raat, should result in immediate disqualification.
lol
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Matsui: *
I think women should ask the question that needs ot be asked..."how big is your peepee?" Any response that doesn;t "measure up" on sughaag raat, should result in immediate disqualification.
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Mere moonh ki baat Sheen li.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Matsui: *
I think women should ask the question that needs ot be asked..."how big is your peepee?" Any response that doesn;t "measure up" on sughaag raat, should result in immediate disqualification.
[/QUOTE]
Hahaha!
But this whole virginity meter reeks of ch******. A man has no right whatsoever trying to "own" or "influence" part of a woman's life she lived when he wasn't even in the picture yet. It's treating women like a property, not a person.
She should have asked him right back, 'are you?'
In this day and age, I don't think there is anything wrong in asking that question, after all, Muslim families and their offsprings are not what they used to be...As a guy looking for a pure mate he had every right to ask this of her and she had every right to ask him anything...That was the reason they were left alone...It's not like you are buying a new car which you can trade in if it happened to be used, trust is something which is for life...
When the Quran clearly states that pure men are for pure women and vice versa and impure men are for impure women and vice versa, why is it strange that a man who has kept himself pure shouldn't expect that of his wife and vice versa...
Why shouldn't a girl who has kept herself pure all these years have the right to be married to a guy who is pure himself? Why shouldn't a guy who has suppressed his desires for a long time expect to have a wife who has done the same? It's only fair...
Don't get me wrong, I won't ask such a question to my prospective mate, but should someone ask this of theirs, I don't think it's anything to take offense from...It's a very legitimate question to ask to which one should receive an honest and fair answer...Untruthfulness at this stage can create a lot of troubles down the road...
Lajjo, are you saying that guys who have slept around can never have a virgin wife?. Hmmm.
yeah it is a bit odd but dude if he is gona marry that girl he has every right to ask her every question he wants to n she shud reply truthfully as well, and if she wants to keep the info from him then she can tell him that as well
n she has a right to ask him everythin she wants to as well
provided they talk to each other in a respectful n decent manner abt the issuez
he didnt hit on her or he dint insult her [tho she might have felt insulted by his question...but if had asked it in a perfectly decent and objective manner without being sleazy then i dont see why theres anything wrong with it n she shud feel offended, i mean he might be the guy she is gona marry right]
yes the topic was a bit weird but in islam these topics r to be approached with sobriety and seriousness jus like any other mundane matter, without the added ooh and aah that we add to em, and if someone is discussing them with u in a most serious and sober manner without being cheap i dont think there is anything wrong with it
due to basic haya n cultural reasonz we usually dont talk abt such things but if u r gona get married to a person u have every right to know such things or anything at all abt them. they r two adults too, they aint babies.
in class 11 we studied biology with a male teacher. n in 12th and 13th grade we studies bio in a mixed class. we studied all those really weird topics and there were some galz who were giggling nonstop n acting all dumb n there were others who were serious n normal.
it really depends on ur approach and the manner u ask, make the whole difference.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by funguy: *
Lajjo, are you saying that guys who have slept around can never have a virgin wife?. Hmmm.
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Shouldn't that be fair? I mean why does the girl have to keep herself all sati savitri for years only to have a life partner who thinks of her as just another sleeping partner?
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by MehnazQ: *
I've only heard of one instance over here where a guy asked a girl during their second phone conversation whether she was a virgin or not. He wanted to know cause 1. he was; and 2. his previous fiance wasn't ... and although she was his dream girl, he had to end it with her cause of this. Can we say insecure?
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What's insecure about it? It would only be insecure if he had slept around but could not bear the thought of being married to someone who had done that too.
Otherwise, what's insecure about ending an engagement over this issue. I'd certainly do the same - if I've got the religious and moral commitment and self-restraint to avoid doing it until after marriage, I'd certainly expect the same from any girl raised as a muslim who I'd marry. The only valid excuse that I would see would be someone raised ignorant of Islam who became Muslim at some point in her life after doing such evil deeds.
Lajjo - Yeah, but do you think it happens in reality?
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by mAd_ScIeNtIsT: *
What's insecure about it? It would only be insecure if he had slept around but could not bear the thought of being married to someone who had done that too.
Otherwise, what's insecure about ending an engagement over this issue. I'd certainly do the same - if I've got the religious and moral commitment and self-restraint to avoid doing it until after marriage, I'd certainly expect the same from any girl raised as a muslim who I'd marry. The only valid excuse that I would see would be someone raised ignorant of Islam who became Muslim at some point in her life after doing such evil deeds.
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mad_sci u are one of the sane persons, i respect you.
I agree with irem, he's got every right to ask all these questions, since he's getting married to her, and so does she..
both can ask in a decent nice way, not offending each other..
lol..hows your friend now..
Lajo, for most people, i would guess 99% of people, marriage is more than just getting a sleeping partner. Virginity is one aspect of what a person might demand in a partner. A chutiya virgin will remain a chutiya, which is far more detrimental to a marriage then virginity.
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*Originally posted by funguy: *
Lajjo - Yeah, but do you think it happens in reality?
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it sure does provided u look past ur ignorant self.
Mad Scientist, it was insecure cause yes, he had 'been around' but had not gone all the way. If he was religious, then I would understand. He isn't though. I found it disgusting that the girl was good enough to make out with, which he openly admitted to, but not good enough to marry cause she wasn't a virgin. At the end of the day, he just didn't want his wife to be able to compare him to someone else. An ego issue.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by DeSi KuRi: *
Ok, so there are a lot more girls going throug this. I have had a friend who was asked this question too by her very own first cousin. She just declined the proposal right there. I mean is that due to the lack of trust from the guy's part or what! In my friends case it was a quite unexpected deal indeed since they both knew one another for quite a long time.
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yaar, if its an arranged marriage and u dont even know the other person, u r meeting her/him for the first time, where does the matter of trust come in. u r just trying to get to know the other person and thats why u r asking all these questions.
yes it is a big deal in our culture but if that person is the person u might be sharing ur entire life with then some level of honest and substantial communication is okay before marriage i think.
some ppl think all this is ok, some ppl make mistakes in life n regret them. it is not common but not highly rare either that ppl engage in such activities before marriage in pakistan, there r galz n guys like that, so it cannot be taken for granted that the other person has not been involved in such thingz.
Yaar how can virginity be more important than the charachter of the girl? :D
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*Originally posted by irem: *
yaar, if its an arranged marriage and u dont even know the other person, u r meeting her/him for the first time, where does the matter of trust come in. u r just trying to get to know the other person and thats why u r asking all these questions.
besides ppl make mistakes in life too.
besides, it is not common but not highly rare either that ppl engage in such activities before marriage in pakistan, there r galz n guys like that, so it cannot be taken for granted that the other person has not been involved in such thingz.
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Shabbashay. Pehli mulaqaat may when you are trying to get to know the person. Ji aap kitni baar.........
:D