GSUK,
I'm just curious. But do you have any sisters? Let's say, hypothetically, that your sister is going to get engaged. Although your parents are happy for her, they are also a bit sad that their beloved daughter will be leaving them soon. They've spent their 20 odd years raising your sister with so much care..............and they're apprehensive that she's going to be leaving them soon. They're hoping that their future son-in-law will be a good husband and will take care of their "little girl" because they won't always be around or alive to watch over their daughter. They know that life is tough but they hope that she will overall be happy and in peace.
So would your parents want your sister to get married to a guy who will support her..........OR.............would they want your sister to get married to a guy who is contemplating being a controlling husband toward her? Would your parents feel comfortable giving their daughter away to a guy who will "keep her at a distance" so that she'll try even harder to kiss his feet and his family's feet and win their approval?????? Or would your parents want your sister to marry a guy who will try to make her feel comfortable in his home?
If in your heart.........you KNOW.........that your own parents would not wish for a manipulative guy and family for their own daughter..........................................then why are your parents playing such games with someone else's daughter? Think about this point. If your own parents would not wish for someone to play games with their OWN CHILD.........why are they doing that someone else's child?
^And if you can see my point........which is a basic one...........then that would be a CLEAR INDICATION to you that what your family is advising is not right. They might personally believe they are right.......but they're wrong. A robber will try to convince himself and others that stealing is THE BEST ADVICE...................but common sense tells you that it's not.............even if the robber is a family member or a close friend. So, use your common sense here.
Let's be honest................you would not be in the Life forum asking our opinion if you felt 100% comfortable that your parents' advice is correct. If you truly believed that they are giving you great advice..........you would not doubt them at all and you would never have created his thread. But obviously, you're not comfortable with what they're suggesting.
Your parents would not suggest such a strategy if they saw you as a strong individual who has the ability to think independently. But it seems as if your parents view you as someone who is "easily manipulated/swayed" by any advice given by family. Perhaps over the years, you have given them this impression of yourself unknowingly. Obedience is a good trait........but blind obedience is harmful.
Even if YOUR WHOLE ENTIRE family tells you to play mind games with this girl.........ask yourself if she has done anything wrong to deserve this. As the quotation goes....."Sometimes the definition of the word majority is that all the fools are on one side."