Should i be a loving or controling husband?

A slong as you keep trying to be impartial. And it may be a difficult thing to do depending on your closeness to the family.

Think of this way, you have done something big for the family by listening to them to marry someone of their choice.

Now it is her turn to not be let down by your immense love or respect for your family.

Marrying on family's choice does not mean you have to live for, or believe your whole life whatever they tell you. Now it is your personal family life.
You choose how you want to live with your wife. Share the life with her.

Your parents had good time, it is now your turn to have good time.

If you sit back and see things from distance these red flags may not be so important and very trivial. As long as there is nothing huge and obviously wrong, there is no point looking for a red flag.

Our mind plays games and 'an influenced mind' sees things bigger than they really are. It happens more often than we realize.