True, different people have different habits.
Now if there are issues in a relationship where minds can't meet and agreements can't be made then that is a bigger issue.
My approach is pretty simple, certain amount goes into retirement, certain goes into investments and certain goes into savings..rest is in checking...we can spend it as we like, spend more in one thing...cut back on another. etc
But this is exactly what im saying. It works if both agree to what money goes where. Its never gonna work if there is no agreement.
But this is exactly what im saying. It works if both agree to what money goes where. Its never gonna work if there is no agreement.
Sure, and if the thing keeping both from agreeing is not a financial difference in opinion but broader relationship issues then it can get exponentially worse when the truth comes out.
Its not as easy as it sounds. Its like going to a family reunion. Telling everyone you won the lottery. Then having to spend your time denying people money.
It is definitely not! People here have not been in your shoes so they think saying NO is enough. It really is not. My mom likes to spend and my dad was the kind to save. They constantly fought over this. My dad never hid his income from my mom and no matter how many times my dad told her not to buy something, she did. She would often over spend and tell us not to tell your father. It put such a strain on my parents' relationship that they wouldn't have anything else to talk about but find faults in each other.
My answer to this thread is no different than the other one with the exception that I wouldn't have an expectation from the wife that she has to work. Because if she is doing housework and childbearing she is already saving the household ample on maid services and babysitting which are expensive in the west. You save on daycare. And since these women usually are caretakers of elderly you save on adult living facilities and nursing homes (up to a point until care requires a nurse but even basic stuff like dressing changes can be done at home if the women in the home are taught) .
So housework IS a service yore getting for free. Thus whereas in CPA's case id get annoyed at her husband for not picking up even a part time job and using his 10k towards some household expenses. In this situation, I wouldn't get annoyed the wife is not working.
BUT if she is spendin recklessly, the husband has to set a budget with her. Hiding his income though is damaging to the relationship.
I have an uncle who does this to his wife. She feels awful he won't tell her where the money goes - she doesn't really even know how much he makes. And she doesn't overspend at all but he thinks she won't let him spend on his family.
He just purchased his sister a flat in Pakistan. She might have blocked that purchase so he doesn't disclose any financial info to her then she comes to me occasionally to complain. That's completely wrong!
Not in my opinion but she gets zero luxuries. I don't think he has even gotten her a perfume since they got married. No gifts. Meanwhile he puts his sisters name on a property investment instead of wife and kids...
And yes he buys his sisters nice stuff. Perfumes lipsticks all that.
But he is ok with his wife having a part time job and she spends on little luxuries from there. I've told him a couple of times open up your finances with her and I'm told to mind my own business. :(