I know someone where the guy is shaiya, and the girl is sunni and they like each other. The guy is born into a kuttar shaiya family but his own views are non denominational. The Girl has the same thinking. What effects can that have on a relationship. Im talking about long term as I have heard quite a lot about the differences. Im looking at the long term effects. Please no Shaiyaas are better or sunnis are better lectures.
The girl is in her early 20’s and the guy mid 20’s. I have suggested to the girl to find what it means to be a Muslim and the values that she holds important to her. Are they matched. Again Long term effect like on kids etc. I would really appreciate your help:)
Re: Shiyaa Sunni marriage
they both must sit togather and talk about it
the shia guy must know's about sunnis but the girl needs to understand what
exactly shia means
in short she must knows about the religius routines of him and his family before
marriage
because its not him who is going to live in her house(her family)
Re: Shiyaa Sunni marriage
I know someone where the guy is shaiya, and the girl is sunni and they like each other. The guy is born into a kuttar shaiya family but his own views are non denominational. The Girl has the same thinking. What effects can that have on a relationship. Im talking about long term as I have heard quite a lot about the differences. Im looking at the long term effects. Please no Shaiyaas are better or sunnis are better lectures. The girl is in her early 20's and the guy mid 20's. I have suggested to the girl to find what it means to be a Muslim and the values that she holds important to her. Are they matched. Again Long term effect like on kids etc. I would really appreciate your help:)
ask99
I know a shia dude married to a sunni girl and they are doing well. the issues were when they were going to have kids and what woud kids follow but they were able to get past it.
It boils down to how accepting they are and how similar in outlook, if both sides are kattar then its a huge issue, if one side is kattar then the liberal one may have to sacrifice, and if both are nto katar then it could work.
Re: Shiyaa Sunni marriage
ask99
I know a shia dude married to a sunni girl and they are doing well. the issues were when they were going to have kids and what woud kids follow but they were able to get past it.
It boils down to how accepting they are and how similar in outlook, if both sides are kattar then its a huge issue, if one side is kattar then the liberal one may have to sacrifice, and if both are nto katar then it could work.
The guy you know, what or how are they I mean do they follow either sect or none at all. The girl's family are not katar sunni, and as I said his family is and he claims that he isnt. I can imagine that it can become a big issue later in and that is why I am suggesting to see and discuss all the effects it may have. The guy hasnt lived with his family since middle school, so I dont know if that has a lot of effect.
Im just weary about the long term effect and again its a very close relative I know.
Re: Shiyaa Sunni marriage
they both must sit togather and talk about it the shia guy must know's about sunnis but the girl needs to understand what exactly shia means in short she must knows about the religius routines of him and his family before marriage because its not him who is going to live in her house(her family)
That is a good idea
Re: Shiyaa Sunni marriage
u said kuttar shia. (even if they are kuttar sunni and gal is shia)
so i wont suggest her to marry that guy. (iff tehy gonna live with their parents)
-marriage in our system as elder say, bonding of two families rather than two humans.
ps. if she is ready for "maa-tam", no TV for six months, majlis, wearing black and white (well not vibrant colors), koonday, niaz dalwana, and many many things then there is no problem. (i am not saying these above stated things are good or bad, it is just part of their life style that may vary from family to family)
Re: Shiyaa Sunni marriage
u said kuttar shia. (even if they are kuttar sunni and gal is shia)
so i wont suggest her to marry that guy. (iff tehy gonna live with their parents)
-marriage in our system as elder say, bonding of two families rather than two humans.
ps. if she is ready for "maa-tam", no TV for six months, majlis, wearing black and white (well not vibrant colors), koonday, niaz dalwana, and many many things then there is no problem. (i am not saying these above stated things are good or bad, it is just part of their life style that may vary from family to family)
you really don't know much about their lifestyle... :)
Re: Shiyaa Sunni marriage
I won't comment on the beliefs or lifestyle, but in general, if the guy is strict and the girl is not, it's probably not a good idea for them to marry, especially if it's a joint family.
Re: Shiyaa Sunni marriage
u said kuttar shia. (even if they are kuttar sunni and gal is shia)
so i wont suggest her to marry that guy. (iff tehy gonna live with their parents)
-marriage in our system as elder say, bonding of two families rather than two humans.
ps. if she is ready for "maa-tam", no TV for six months, majlis, wearing black and white (well not vibrant colors), koonday, niaz dalwana, and many many things then there is no problem. (i am not saying these above stated things are good or bad, it is just part of their life style that may vary from family to family)
Not all shia's do the mataam first of all and second no tv for six monts who said
there are only two months first mohraam and second month saffar
but one can watch tv after the 12 days of moharaam if wish to ..
and the boy aswell should understand her situation that of which background she belongs to and i dont think there is a big deal init //
Re: Shiyaa Sunni marriage
you really don't know much about their lifestyle... :)
sorry for the typo...it should be during the sacred months they dont wear vibrant colors. and you may be right me being naive, as i m not shia.
it is just we always have shia as our "parosi" and two of my best frndz are shia.
ps. again, its part of their lifestyle, and i respect it :)
WOULD YOU LIKE TO SHARE SHIA's LIFE STYLE, since you are aware of! :)
Re: Shiyaa Sunni marriage
yes, you are right that not all do the mataam (in fact nowadays mataam…kher leave it). (but the guy in this case is kuttar shia and i was refering to that :)).
and thanks for correction related to TV. (yaar, its my frnds family who dont watch TV for 6 month)
kher even two months, if she is ready to give-up then what can i say 
ps. i personally think, if she is marrying that guy she should respect his rituals. and these jhagray fasad over “Sabaha-e-karam RA” 
Re: Shiyaa Sunni marriage
sorry for the typo...it should be during the sacred months they dont wear vibrant colors. and you may be right me being naive, as i m not shia.
it is just we always have shia as our "parosi" and two of my best frndz are shia.
ps. again, its part of their lifestyle, and i respect it :)
WOULD YOU LIKE TO SHARE SHIA's LIFE STYLE, since you are aware of! :)
Yes, we don't wear vibrant colors like pinks and reds but other then that they wear every color (unless you are extremely kutter, and this is the kind who keeps a distance from other sect, just like the other extreme). Actually there are many families who don't prefer new brides wearing black on their first muharram after getting married. They rather prefer a new bride wearing more neutral colors like greens and blues on majlis's.
And for tv... we prefer not listening to music at least for the 1st 12 days. But there are family who trynot watching tv for the two months. Again it depends on the family.
By the way you don't have to type in caps, you can ask in a soft tone, I promise I won't eat you up ;-)
oh and let me just add that there is no need for the so-called converting (it really makes me laugh as it sounds one is not a Muslim or somethin). We have countless shia sunni marriages in our family. I have never seen anyone fighting over the issue or anything. Actually both have lot of respect for each other's views.
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Re: Shiyaa Sunni marriage
the guy and girl both might not care much abt religion and the differences right now because they are in 'LOVE'. However if they are thinking abt marriage then later it is going to affect them whether they like it or not..they might not even think its going to affect right now..but it def. will..
my suggestion would be..either the girl converts to shia herself completely..or the guy converts to sunni completely..and then only can the relationship work..but if they just convert to make the other one happy then once kids come along..jhoot ka dikhawa will just fade away and the result would be confused muslim kids
Re: Shiyaa Sunni marriage
thank you for answering. i personally think, it is always hard for gals belonging from moderate families to adjust in conservative (called) families. (both sunnia and shia i am talking about)
since, current definition of marriage is based more on adjustment rather than having happy life, then these couples should focus more on these lill things…but kher as they say “piyar kia to durna kia 
”
for caps> i just wanted you to answer the question (so put more emphasis on that specific statement …even if you eat me, still i will be 
inside you)
Re: Shiyaa Sunni marriage
Religious compatibility should be kept in mind when marrying same sect aswell.
Re: Shiyaa Sunni marriage
Dont do it. For the kids' sake.
Re: Shiyaa Sunni marriage
Well this is no advise but just ma opinion, I personally don think they should do it as it might totally confuse the kids and secondly i am personally not a fan of multi-cultural weddings let alone multi faith, so these are ma two cents.
Re: Shiyaa Sunni marriage
In the end it depends on the people and the families and also how involved the families are/will-be in the two individuals lives.
Re: Shiyaa Sunni marriage
In the end it depends on the people and the families and also how involved the families are/will-be in the two individuals lives.
Nahi...
Pata hai kya unko shaadi karni chahye...kyonki jahan pyar hota hai wahan kuch nahi hota...
Phir jab woh bhaag kar shaadi kar lein gay to larki us guy ko sunni kar le...Aur phir kya khushi khushi raho aur mazab bhi ek ho jaye ga....
Pyare pyare bache hoon gaye aur kya chahye.:)