Re: Shia-Sunni Rishta
I have grown up in a mix family - me mother and my sisters are practising Sunni muslims - where i have been a Shia for a quite chunk of me life !
I don't follow it any more ! but to be very honest - its all man made shyte nothing else !
To excel in life - we got to be higher from such stupidities !
Re: Shia-Sunni Rishta
YES, that is another factor that my dad considers mucho important! Syed is a must. Jeez, the search criteria seems so narrow that i just might end up never married =/ lol.
LOL @ uncle! At first I was like, uncle? What uncle!? Now i get. Well aunty, maybe HE is the uncle for YOU then! Shall I become the hookup queen? Hahah!
No, but everything that everyone is presenting is reasonable. I think anya summed it all up, things you consider to be insignificant now can become issues later.
Anywho, its okay, I passed him on to another friend of mine, she is sunni and her family is also looking, lol. Matter of fact im introducing her to the guys family tonight! Wish them luck, inshallah! 
Re: Shia-Sunni Rishta
you girlssss
i call Him uncle :--p i like calling him uncle here in the forum lol coz my nick is aunty... you get???
but ummm, i don't think the Syed part matters really razzmatazz... i mean, shia/sunni yes it does but syed/non-syed me dont think it does...hmmm
Re: Shia-Sunni Rishta
Yes, yes, i assumed HE is uncle :)
yeah Aunty, try telling my pops that one. lol!
Re: Shia-Sunni Rishta
A very old and very close friend of mine talked to me about her brother for marriage. Her family is sunni, but with very similar belief's as shia's, and mine is shia...irrespective of which - our families are a perfect match and the guy is great. In other words, there is absolutely no reason for saying no to them.
She has asked me about his rishta once before directly, and I said no bc of the shia-sunni problem. A few days ago, she brought it up in between the lines, and said it directly again, leaving the ball in my court.
I have never personally spoken to the guy, so i dont know his take on anything.
*Provided that, I called the the shia mulana to get information for nikkah in this situation, as there are some limitations for the nikkah being read in situations like this. He said to bring the guy so he can speak with him and decide if nikkah will be acceptable in this siuation. *
My friend does not know of this, but do you think it would be acceptable for me to mention to my friend that i spoke to the mulana and thats what he said?
Or, rather, HOW should I mention to her? Any suggestions? The thing is, if there can be a solution to this, then it can happen, if not then it cant :( and i would like for it to happen.
(please no offending comments about the details of the situation, we need to be respectful of every belief)
even though it's been a long held belief of mine that all moulvis (shia/sunni/whatever) are morons... but that a maulana shia or sunni would say that there are "limitations" to a nikkah like this still amazes me. I thought shias and sunnis were both Muslims. what kind of limitations could there be when it comes to a nikah between two Muslims? and while we're at it, why stop at sects? lets also get into castes, color, etc as well... so pathetic.
if we can't even get over the differences within our own religion, how can we ever hope for peace with other nations, religions, etc? this moulvi sahib should be encouraging marriages like this. imo, this will promote peace and understanding between the sects which is something we all should want.
my advice would be to forget what the moulvi said. if the guy is a nice, educated person and the family is nice, say yes. God won't care whether you were sunni or shia. I'm sure He'll be content if you were a good person.
Re: Shia-Sunni Rishta
So like i mentioned earlier, i decided to show my friend another friend of mine for her brother. Did that tonight, and the night went well, the girl has no idea about the whole deal. She simply thought we just got together for the night. Kind of like a show and then tell type of thing, so im waiting to get word from my friend about what her brother and the family thought of her just by seeing her and first impression.
But now, after seeing him again, i think i...no, i KNOW i passed up such a good guy, again!
Im a firm believer in kismat and dana-paani. But at the same time, i feel so down. I dont know why, but i feel guilty for feeling like this =/
@ samb:
if the guy is a nice, educated person and the family is nice, say yes. God won't care whether you were sunni or shia. I'm sure He'll be content if you were a good person.
...very true, but so much on the plate to think about. Unfortunately, ive had a few bad experiences very recently with other rishta's..where they were 'picture perfect' shia-syed guys, and turned out BOTH (at different times ofcourse) were asking for stuff...(furniture, car, money, etc. etc.)..along with other issues. I mean, i cant believe there are people still like that out there! I dont know if thats just a typical case of the wrong person at the wrong time, or is that just my wonderful kismat. So much for them being shia-syed..and not REALLY knowing them/their mentality all along. And now that theres someone at hand that i KNOW is far decent than anyone ive ever come across..theres THIS! Allah-ho-alim!
Re: Shia-Sunni Rishta
Do not worry you would get what is for you.
I do not think it is too late for you in this one because the girl has not idea things has not exploded yet.
On other side you might have bigger issue in your own family if the guy is not Shia and nor syed. I any case your hands are tied.
Re: Shia-Sunni Rishta
...my hands are tied.
Lets see what his response for the other girl is. If yes, then all the best for them, if not then I guess I have another chance to think things over.
Re: Shia-Sunni Rishta
ok well, it's not late Yet. you can still approach this guy.
but razzmatazz, are you OK with compromising on your beliefs and lifestyle? is he?
i have had close shia friends and i know some major religious beliefs and lifestyles are different. i don't want to open a pandora's box here but even the kalima is different.
if you or him are not that religious it won't matter - i have relatives who married shias who're perfectly happy and that's coz they were not that religious... but i know i personally would have had a very difficult time in that situation.
he won't be the last good guy on the planet. but this issue of shia/sunni will bug you life-long. so think carefully if you can really deal.
on the syed part, razz come on now, you're a young adult, you convince your parents about this one.
Re: Shia-Sunni Rishta
Can someone point out of the main differences that would pop up in every day life for a couple?
I think Shia's pray differently, with some sort of an 'item/object' in front of them? I don't think this would be a serious issue considering men and women hardly ever pray together.
Even though it's important to respect another person's thoughts and beliefs, but in a case of two people sharing their lives it becomes an issue. For instance, some of the beliefs contradict the school of thought of the other sect. Most sunnis, including myself am a little uncomfortable with the whole concept of physical 'peetna/beatings' that Shias do, even if its not done to the extreme.
Also, since its ramzan, the couple would obviously have to open and break their fasts a few minutes apart... Sometimes one has to be careful because you invite a bunch of friends over for Iftar, and one of them is a Shia and has to break his fast 10-15 mins after us. Most of us try to respect his fast; break our fast but hold off with the binging until its time for him to break it too.
The main problem would be children, and the beliefs they are brought up with. I guess like chichora said, it all depends on how much they practice their version of Islam, as per their sects. A couple should really think this through before binding it.
Shia friends, correct me if i am wrong, and i don't mean any offence by my post... but i had this discussion with a shia friend some time back and there are some major lifestyle differences from what we saw...
so yes the namaz is different in the sense that shias pray thrice a day (they combine the five prayers into 3) and sunnis pray 5 times a day
the shia sunni namaz timings are different so yes they break their fasts at separate times
in Moharram shias hold majlis and attend maatam and throughout the month they refrain from entertainment etc, while sunnis usually just respect the day of 9th and 10th Moharram
shia and sunni masajid are different so like if the mixed couple has kids and it is friday or eid, where will the son go for ba-jamaat namaz - shia masjid or sunni masjid? i guess he can just accompany his dad wherever the dad goes...
i think funeral rites are also different but im not too sure about this...
also, i think shias have an eid or a day in the year that they celebrate and give almost as much or more importance than eid-ul-fitr? my shia friend told me about this but i don't have that much of a clue
i guess it's really about how accepting the couple is towards each other... i mean if you're OK with letting your kids have a slightly different set of beliefs or follow a bit different custom... then it is fine...
in my case i would feel like i am failing in my duty as a parent because i'm not passing on the pure Islamic beliefs to them which God bestowed me with... so like i've kind of messed it up for my kids... hmmm...
no offence guys. i know this is a sensitive topic. i am just trying to discuss since this topic was open..
peace
Re: Shia-Sunni Rishta
Aunti jee
I am not Shia, but I think here u r mixing Shia with Khojas and Bohris (might be a sect of Shia but entirely different in many way.
Although there many differences between Shia and but some Shia r almost same as sunnies.
Re: Shia-Sunni Rishta
tipusultan, no i was talking about shias...
which part are you talking about which is specific to khojas/bohris? i don't know about khojas but bohris are different like they have their own imam and own jamaat khana and everything...and their calendar is also different...
Re: Shia-Sunni Rishta
To the best of my understanding Shia also pray 5 time, follow same eid day (bohri does a day earlier).
There r many differences between Shia and sunnies this is not right place to discuss but there some sects within shia r very close to sunnies , as OP mentioned earlier that there is not much difference between both believes so I assume this is the case here.
In any case I expect OP still need to handle her family to agree on this which is an uphill task.
Re: Shia-Sunni Rishta
no no, shias do pray the 5 prayers, i never said they don't.... but they mix the prayers and so technically they pray only thrice.. like they pray fajr, then they combine zohr and asar and pray that at asar, and then they combine maghrib and isha and pray that at isha
Re: Shia-Sunni Rishta
Yeah, there are obvious differences, but overall shia's and sunni's are very similar, despite the few different beliefs. Khoja's are same as plain ol' shia's but Bhori's and Ismaili's are completely completely different. They are not even similar to plain ol' shia's. Anyways, yeah tipu is right, this is not the place to discuss..its not a thread about the differences.
Yes, aunty, i am talking to my parents to make them understand.
As far as the girls situation goes, it was a no no from him. And my friend said her family is asking about me again.
The rest is to be continued, as the story develops.....
Re: Shia-Sunni Rishta
I wish everything well for you.
Re: Shia-Sunni Rishta
^ Aw, thanks tipu, everything happens for the best. Inshallah I will update here soon..
Re: Shia-Sunni Rishta
Yeah, there are obvious differences, but overall shia's and sunni's are very similar, despite the few different beliefs. Khoja's are same as plain ol' shia's but Bhori's and Ismaili's are completely completely different. They are not even similar to plain ol' shia's. Anyways, yeah tipu is right, this is not the place to discuss..its not a thread about the differences.
Yes, aunty, i am talking to my parents to make them understand.
As far as the girls situation goes, it was a no no from him. And my friend said her family is asking about me again.
The rest is to be continued, as the story develops.....
Was just answering Spock Razzmatazz, and also putting some food up for thought there regarding the topic.
I've actually seen such couples from up-close, and I feel like there is room for issues If both the couples are quite religious... but if even one is flexible then things are OK.
I thought understanding between two people is the Main thing, but in matters of religion, understanding between hubby wife goes out the window.
Anyhow, best of luck to you! :)
Re: Shia-Sunni Rishta
so when ppl have nothing better to do… that what they do… 
Create issues and live whole life around them… nice
I say try chess instead… you and your imam…
Re: Shia-Sunni Rishta
Final development: I said no, and the whole idea is over with and out the window!
Thanks for all you guppy's who gave your insightful advice. It was much used and applied :)