Re: Shia / Sunni Marriages
yes, is right. for me that is.
Re: Shia / Sunni Marriages
I fully agree with Ma Mooli.
I'm all up for tolerance and being respectful towards the belief of others. However, I feel more comfortable with getting married to someone who shares the same beliefs. In fact, I would give preference to staying single than opting for inter-sect marriage for myself.
Besides, different sects have different aqeedahs and there are many other things that are followed and practiced differently. Often there are serious and major disagreements between different sects. Therefore, to make the marriage as smooth as possible, I would at least want the spouse to have the same aqeedah (and possibly manhaj) at least.
Btw... why is this discussion solely around Shia and Sunni marriages? What about other sects in Islam? How comfortable would you feel getting married to someone who follows another sect of Islam?
Re: Shia / Sunni Marriages
on topic, i personally dont think its such a bad idea for children to have flavours of both versions before they decide on one, so long as the couple agrees on guidelines for kids, and also agree on investing the time to learn about their own faith, so that neither party feels guilty or inadequate.
Re: Shia / Sunni Marriages
PCG, Suroor and Sadiya all mentioned the word 'comfort' ...Maybe it is time to step back and see why you are uncomfortable. what is it that Ravage and others have mentioned that makes you uncomfortable. It helps you grow if you re-analyze your stance. If you don't want to look at things again then that's a rather primitive mindset.
p.s. Sadiya, let's stick to Shia/Sunni for this thread. Hopefully, we will get somewhere :-)
Re: Shia / Sunni Marriages
By non praticing, i mean indviduals who have a laid back attitude to Islam, for example, they are muslim by name, maybe pray once in a while, i.e. not so hardcore and strict in thier practices, hence they wouldnt mind which faith their child belongs to.
By definition, any one who proclaims the shahadah is a muslim. Both sects generally accept that the other is muslim, hence the reason why it is not haram to marry someone from the other sect. We do have plenty of common ground, such as the concept Tawhid, Nabuwwat, Qiyamat, Namaz, Zakaat, Hajj, Fasting etc. the general outlook and beliefs are actually very similiar.
However, the major differences in the between the two, in terms of belief, is the shias concept of Imamat and the sunni veiw of khalifah. This is the main conflict of ideology between the two and will definately play a significant part. An then there are the totally different hadith books and the interpretaiton of Quranic Ayahs. Shias do taqleed to mujtahids and Sunni follow the four Imams and so on. The more indepth you go, the more differences arise. so as i said before, the more practising you are, the more likely there will be conflict.
Re: Shia / Sunni Marriages
Fayz, there are many major differences that can never be settled and it's better not to raise those issues here as they have already been beaten to death in the Religion forum. I can tolerate them in general, however, I would want my spouse to at least have the same aqeedah as myself.
Re: Shia / Sunni Marriages
Re: Shia / Sunni Marriages
is being practicing, in the sense you talk about mooli, necessarily a good thing? even according to seestani, the best of the people are those who dont necessarily do taqleed of one person, but consult more than one, and do their own research (i'll hunt out the fatwa for you). i dont really believe in rote religion, consulting bihar ul anwar before eating and such, do you? similarly, yes more differences exist the deeper you dig, but the sticking points, arent they most likely just going to be the timings of prayers and matam and contents of majalis?
Re: Shia / Sunni Marriages
it is uncomfortable because it’s different and conflicting from what i believe in. i am in general very tolerant of different belief systems or fiqh ( i have read about it and re analyzed why i feel the way i do) but it doesn’t mean i dont disagree with it.
Re: Shia / Sunni Marriages
Sadiya and Suroor..you girls have made very general statements...you know how kids say.."mein nay nhin khailna..bus keh jo dya"....and they don't have specific reasons why they don't want to play :-D
From one's fath perspective, I think what happened after prophet's death should not be so significant that muslims hesitate marrying eachother. Fundamentals is all you need everything else is something to ponder on.
Re: Shia / Sunni Marriages
ravage, Be it following sistani's fatwas, or doing your own research, either way, i would assume you would be considered a practising muslim.. The sticking points are less likely to be majlises, and even matam, (we get plenty sunnis at the mosques during muharram), nor is it the difference in timing of salah, or fasting. These in reality are no biggie, since they are merely practices, that anyone can find a way round. Hey, if your sunni, just open your fast a lil earlier, if your shias, open it a lil later. Its not really a problem.
What becomes difficult, is the ideology where the main conflict occurs. When they are in direct contradiction to yours, it is not easy to tolerate. Even if you are able to tolerate your spouse's views, when it comes to kids, no religious parent will take the issue lightly. That is where IMO, the problems will begin.
Re: Shia / Sunni Marriages
Jii salam . . . . hum syed shia gharanay say talooq rakhtay hai , pahlay syedo ke shadi kabi bahar nahi hoti thi , i mean agar shadi ho ge tu must be syed warna kuwaray he mar jaooo 
magar abb asa nahi hai , abb syed log bhi shadi syedo kay bahar bhi kartay hai . . . . . slow slow yah concept khatam ho raha hai kay syed bus syed say he shadi kar sakta hai . . . .. . wesay he shia ho yah sunni aj kal log insan kay kirdar or us kay khadan ko perfer kartay hai nah kay shia or sunni ko . . . . meray kheyal mai shia ho yah sunni app shadi kar saktay ho coz both r muslim , aik he QURAN ko mantay hai hum , ISLAM mai tu doosaray non muslims say shadi par permission hai . . . i know serf larkay ko , larki ko nahi . . . bus hai tu ijazat . .. . .. . . or raha hai sawal bacho ka tu mera mana hai kay agar mari shadi kese sunni larki say hoti hai or meray bachay hotay hai tu i thinkbacho ko poori azadi ho ge kay woh kis kay sect ko appnaie . . . . . . mazhab mai force nahi hai r nah he nafrat or nah he kuch humhara ISLAM mazhab tu boohat pyara mazhab hai jis mai serf aman or bhai-charay ka peegham hai . . . . . or hum muslims appnay pyaray mazhab mai bus alag alag appni appni masjid bana kar bethay howay hai . . . . mai syed shia ghar say ho magar mai appnay app ko pahlay insan manta ho jis ko ALLAH nay banayah hai us ko kay muslim jo ALLAH kay banaie howay rastay par amal karnay ke kooshish karta hai . . . .
khair Miss ( = Pyari c gudia ) saheba .. .. app sorry to say aik baat bolna chaho ga ap ke baato ko phar kar kay QURAN mai koie cheez direct nahi bataie sab indirect way mai indicate karti hai . . . abb hum muslims par hai kay QURAN ko kis tarha Phartay hai . . . . khair mai nah yah shia or sunni ke baat lay kar betho ga magar kabhi kese ko galat kahnay say pahlay plz aik bar zaror books read kia karay 
or yah galat hai kay bus agar example ap shia hai tu shia Books read karay . . . . balkay sunni books bhi parhay .. . . phir app kay sawalo ka jawab mil jaie ga ' agar roona bora hota yah shayed is ko yah lay lo kay ALLAH ko pasand nahi hota roona tu har bacha peeda hotay howay hansta howa duniya mai ata . . . . . wesay aik roona appnay leyah hota hai kay manay duniya mai kia karay or ALLAH nay unsab ke maafi mange jaie or aik roona hota hai doosaro kay leyah un ke YAAD mai i think dono he galat nahi hai . . ..hai but agar roona serf or serf appnay khuwaisho kay leyah jaie tu galat hai so condition hoti hai har baat or har cheez ke . . . . . . so kabhi hum ko lakeer ka faqeer nahi bana chayeah balkay sab cheezo ko rakh kar deemagh or sachay dil say sumhajna chayeah har baat ko
anywaz kaafi bol leyah. . .
kaha suna maaf . .
i repeat mai yaha discuess shia or sunni ka topic karnay nahi ayah balkay serf or serf yah bolnay ayah ho kay chahay insan shia ho yah sunni bus dil saaf hona chayeah or har baat karnay say pahlay app khud ko sumhaj paie kay manay agar kese kay leyah kuch bola hai tu woh sahe hai yah galat . . .
ALLAH HAFIZ
Re: Shia / Sunni Marriages
hmm.. mooli good points, thou be'est wise beyond thy years.
Re: Shia / Sunni Marriages
good point by janwar...
Re: Shia / Sunni Marriages
comfortability comes from your own beliefs and how strong they are. Most sunnis are of the opinion that the caliphate rightfully went into the hands of Abu Bakr (R). After doing what reading I've done, I've formed the opinion (which is always subject to change in light of more information), that everything that happened after the Prophet died is up in the air. You can take Ali (R)'s side, Aisha (R)'s side, Abu Bakr's (R) side etc etc, but your opinion is no better than the opinion of anyone else's because we're all relying on hadith ... and the shia hadith on the topic contradict the sunni hadith's - so who is really to say.
Given the fact that I just place a whole lot more importance on the Quran and trying to stick with safe saheeh hadith that do concur with the Quran, and taking everything else in a very criticial manner and with a grain of salt, I am totally comfy marrying a Shia. In fact, some of their arguments about Ali do make sense, to me. Although I don't buy into the whole 12 Imam argument - I think it just doesn't matter in this day and age. The age of the 12 Imams is gone, if they were to ever be or not or how they were supposed to be - the age of the ahl-ul-bait is gone, and I don't know of too many of the Prophet's descendents, although one does live here in Miami apparently (never met her) ... it really makes no difference. They're just like you and me.
For sunnis that are way more staunch in their beliefs as to what should have happened after the Prophet's death - they'll find themselves more resistant to intersect marraiges with shias.
Now, someone raised the topic of other sects - and frankly, no. I don't think I could marry a qadiyani or a aga khani, because they do identify other human beings as extra-holy. Which I really disagree with. In the case of aga khanis - its almost like they worship aga khan. And I don't need a pope, and neither do my kids. In the case of Qadiyanis, I don't think I can have my kids buy into a belief system that says Jesus has already returned to Earth in the form of Mirza Jee. Whatever he was, I seriously doubt he had any affiliation with God.
So I think where you can tolerate some difference of belief, then you'll tolerate it.
I think Al-Azhar university has actually declared Shias as along the same level as the 4 sunni firqas - maybe I read this tidbit wrong. But that's what I've read.
I just dont think the differences between Shias and Sunnis are that big...especially if you're willing to admit that the history after the Prophet's death is just a bit too shady and unclear. If you're not willing to admit that, then Shia-Sunni marriage is not something you're mature enough for. Its best to marry in your own sect before you ruin someone's life.
Re: Shia / Sunni Marriages
Janwar, I know you’re trying to say something to me, but I don’t have the patience to read something written in urdu in english script. It takes too long to decipher which words you are trying to use. Sorry. 
Re: Shia / Sunni Marriages
I am basically from a syed shia family but I have seen many syed/non-syed and shia/sunni marriages in my family. All of them are success by the grace of almighty Allah.
Re: Shia / Sunni Marriages
*I am a Shia and will be marrying a Sunni girl. Do I care? No. Do my parents care? Probably. Kids can be scientologists for all I care. So, the only problem I see is conflict between my parents and my wife, not me and my wife. And PCG, it doesn't say anywhere that you have to do Zanjeer Maatam. My father has never done it, and neither have I. Regular Maatam is just fine. Most young shias I have seen here are usually outside smoking suttas when the Maulana is lecturing during Majlis, and come running in with so much josh when the maatam starts. So you can probably tell my reason for being so disgusted with the concept of religion in general. *
Re: Shia / Sunni Marriages
2- it’s the same thing as not praying 5 times a day. obviously if you keep combining two prayers on purpose then it’s 3 times a day not 5. we call it kaza when we combine prayers because of whatever reason.
3- the guy didn’t say it right. he should’ve said that shia have different timings for ramadan. They break the fast AFTER the sunset…pretty much when it’s dark. We really don’t know the reason behind it. I’m curious.
4- but shia don’t accept the zakat that comes from sunnis or any other sects do they?
5- All I know is that if i have to give someone dead some respect I definitely wouldnt follow that custom. its a huge issue which shouldn’t be discussed here you’re right.
Re: Shia / Sunni Marriages
I really want to know how these sunni/shia kids insist their parents if they want to marry someone who's a different sect. That's the first challenge.