Re: Shia father and suni mother
** **It isn’t judgement it is statement of fact that her guy did not fully disclose. If help and advice is asked for as you requested in opening post, I would advise two things:
Step one: Full disclosure to guy’s family as it is required for step two. Elders should be fully aware of situation so that they can decide what to do and how to do it. Only ONE thing comes to light with the guy not disclosing. He feels this will create issues with the rishta or his family will receive this information badly (god knows why). This is the only reason guy is not disclosing. At least the only logical reason given the information we have. If this is the case, then when his family does find out later, since it was the guy’s thinking that it will cause issues with them, I believe such people will create issues for the now married girl. That’s a bad situation for your friend innit?
Step two: The elders on the guy’s side can now decide what is the best way forward in their own community and circles to make this marriage happen in a respectable manner. You and your friend need to trust that elders have seen more of the culture and know better how to approach such things. If you feel youngers know better, then by all means they should get married without this.
Say what you will about the father. One can malign him as much as anyone wants for doing what he did when he did it, but fact of the matter is, it is now a matter of here and now and today, not what happened 30 years ago. If imam masjid which she follows and they follow says it can happen without the father/wali, I guess for them it can. Issue resolved innit?
But really, I don’t think that she will opt for this route no matter what.
So I believe disclosure to guy’s family is warranted. Mother and father at least.
And whether or not you like my advice OP, as I said, I am coming from a shia sunni married point of view. She will alway’s be a “shia man’s daughter” so it is good for you and her to think upon why I am advising that his parents know all.
Advice noted, jazak Allah khair.