heard MIL on the phone to her daughter calling me moti and saying how i cant cook and literally just taking the p$$ out of me.
so tell me i should be making tea for this woman? i need to show her up to her son. how?
she also went thru my cupboard said she “was tidying it up looking fr my daughters clothes” and i found my clothes all “organised” and my jewellery set necklace broken. husband told me nkt to confront her leave it. he fixed the necklace for me. that woman is making my spit venom rite now.
tell me i have t easy?
Tell your husband, confront him then if he doesn't do anything confront her. Its a joke, don't live unhappy lifes just because you don't want to upset someone else.
I don't recall anyone ever saying that you have it easy. It never is when you live in a joint family system.
The truth of the matter is that this is your reality....and has been for a few years now. Soon you will be in another place and will be able to look back upon this as nothing more than a memory.....hang in there.
well your mil cant blog. she talks about it with her daughter, you blog and discuss her with a bunch of gossipy strangers from all over the world about it. same diff innit!
I really don't know how you put up with it because it were me someone would have been knocked out by now.. be it my MIL, or hubby or both. I don't necessarily subscribe to automatically giving people respect just because of age.
I don't recall anyone ever saying that you have it easy. It never is when you live in a joint family system.
The truth of the matter is that this is your reality....and has been for a few years now. Soon you will be in another place and will be able to look back upon this as nothing more than a memory.....hang in there.
Sometimes it's not so simple. My mom lived with her inlaws for a few years and she still has emotional scars from the way she was treated. That's why I don't look too kindly upon b*tchy MILs and why I've learned to hold my own.
heard MIL on the phone to her daughter calling me moti and saying how i cant cook and literally just taking the p$$ out of me.
Were you really surprised by this? You've known for quite a while that your MIL doesn't like you.
so tell me i should be making tea for this woman? i need to show her up to her son. how?
Yes, you should still make tea for this woman. Why? Because your husband asked you to perform this simple task. Just because your MIL is bashing you, that's not a reason to irritate your husband. In fact, it's MORE reason for you to do everything to keep your HUSBAND happy so that he's not easily swayed by the MIL.
she also went thru my cupboard said she "was tidying it up looking fr my daughters clothes" and i found my clothes all "organised" and my jewellery set necklace broken. husband told me nkt to confront her leave it. he fixed the necklace for me.
So your husband already fixed the necklace. He didn't say or do anything to defend your MIL's actions did he?
Dont get angry, get even. Call a friend and tell her within earshot of MIL how crap you have it here ( list all the things) , and how you cant wait to leave. Sure more drama will ensue, but who cares, you're leaving. So nows your chance.
lol. I have several emotional and a few physical scars from livings with the in laws for a year and a half. MIL constantly accidentally bumped into me in the kitchen when I was cooking which often resulted in me burning my hand and I have 1 big scar on my arm from one of those instances. Also, she asked me to always clean the stove when it was hot because she believed it cleaned better… which also resulted in a few accidents of me getting burns. Additionally, she always gave me the task of cutting frozen items that would slip.. heheheh it was not deliberate but it resulted in this bad boy:
My mom went through hell with her MIL… and when my mom would argue she would say put her in a mental institution. To this day my mom still has anxiety attacks because for the most part she would just sit quiety and do her chores while being berated. She did the same thing to my aunt as well after my parents left except my aunt was a gori and told her MIL where to put her two cents. Sometimes I really, really have to wonder how MILs get this way and why we’re supposed to just give them a pass because they’re older and your husband’s mom. Eff that noise… You get respect by giving it. Plain and simple.
i need to get even -while still look like the victim in husbands eyes
ideas?
Nadz please GROW UP! You are a mother of two children now and need to stop engaging in childish, petty, revengeful behaviour. Whilst I understand you MIL's actions have hurt you, you did not hear anything that you did not already know. Since your MIL refuses to be the better person, you need to step up and be it - therefore look after your MIL, make her the tea as your husband has requested so that you can at least please him even if your care and interest is lost on your MIL.
In your husbands eyes his mother cannot do anything wrong. In a child's eyes a parent is incapable of making mistakes or deliberately hurting someone. Even where there is evidence to the contrary and clearly shows that a parent is a human and will make mistakes we will excuse in whatever way we can in our minds.
No-one is saying you have it easy but sometime you do not make it easy for yourself!
You need to remember that this woman is still the grandmother of your children and you should ensure that you keep a cordial relationship with her for their sake.
Mizsani - I am sorry about what you went through. Nadz just be grateful your MIL actions are petty in comparison to what mizsani went through; she has not to physically hurt you or put you in the way of harm.
What you don't seem to understand is that you're not being urged by everyone to play nice to make your MIL happy. Rather you're being urged to do so only to preserve your relationship with your husband.....it's for him, not for her. You can give her the cold shoulder and be rude to her.......it wont affect her, but you risk losing your husband's respect. You can try being nice to her......and even that won't affect your MIL, but at least your it'll strengthen your marriage. You're choosing the option that satisfies your anger, but gives you no benefit in the short or long-term. If that's what you want, then please don't create a thread a few months from now saying that you fear your MIL has brainwashed your husband while you're all the way in England. He's more likely to be swayed and hardened against you if you keep telling and showing him that you wont even bother to "fake" being the bigger person.
My cousin didn't get on too well with her MIL. She made a poor decision in a situation where she chose her own ego and fought for it. Her husband relented. And while she was away her in-laws managed to convince her husband that she doesn't care about him or his family. My cousin has two kids and its almost been a year that her husband's been away from her. She now realizes.....that despite her MIL's insensitive attitude, had she chosen to be the bigger person....had she been more patient and yielded just for a little while longer, she may not be in the current situation. Mind you, her husband was an open-minded and supportive guy...so it is surprising that he's being so stubborn. And now she wants to improve/repair her image in his eyes and she realizes it will take time to do so. She now realizes her marriage was more important than winning against MIL. This is why you're told time and again to feign patience and be the bigger person. It's not for your MIL, you're doing it for yourself, your husband, marriage etc.
