Yesterday I sat before a couple this girl was the most beautiful white girl I had ever seen and her husband was black. My boy is dating a caucasian girl and her parents don’t seem to object. I see whites marry freely in all races.
As for the ridiculous filters these people put on for arranged marriages, Shia, Sunni, Wahabbi, punjabi, pathan, sheikh, tall, slim, fair inlaws..blah blah blah..hijab, no hijab, drinking, no drinking, previous dating, okay to kiss mils feet etc…not in a thousand years will someone pass thru those filters..as they approach mid 30s all the demands get relaxed.
baitta janni I think I will not pursue this anymore, my brother got married in Pakistan to this girl who didn’t seem that warm and it turned out the girl liked someone else and broke off the nikah. Enthusiasm is supposed to be the biggest thing for me. Sad though they seemed like made for each other, she is 5-7, he’s 6-2 both shareef, kind and intelligent. I wish her all the best she seems like an amazing girl.
Good on you, even with all my experience I am still open to hear and vet all ideas, I don’t believe in right or wrong but only in what is and what will get the results that I wish. I talk to my kids for their input also.
There is an epidemic for desi people in Western countries. Marriage is less about finding common ground and more about exchanging stuff…at least it seems that way to me.
I am not sure what the issue is though…is it the women that are pickier or the men?
I hear women are really afraid of desi men as many still have the patriarchal mindset, there is also a vast spectrum of religiosity and is it hijab, no hijab, dress or skirt, shalwar or jeans will the man help with house work, will the woman need to do sijjda to MIL. Just the usual stuff. Thanks goodness I sheltered my kids from this.
True. But I guess it depends if the guy is orthodox or liberal minded. Would you say most desi Americans are liberal minded compared to those from subcontinent and elsewhere in West? I am meeting a desi American guy with my dad in the West Coast of the US. He is from east coast but since we planned a trip to the west coast to meet family/friends. Generally would you say desi people in East and West coast are open minded. I am from Australia and it’s my first time in mainstream US and first time actually meeting people my age group.
If I were to take GS as a representative population of desi Americans I’d say theyou would be overall open minded and decent.
There are many kinds of desis here mostly people from Indian background are bit more westernized. I have been impressed by young educated Indian guys. They talk nicely to their wives and cook and clean and both work. I like the new immigrants from India more than the born and raised here.
Oh ok that’s good to know. Not sure if I am ready to move to the US away from family and friends here. Work would be another issue. He seems interesting and is willing to come from NY to meet me on the west coast in Las Vegas with my dad without even seeing my photo. Any interesting meet the parents.
Keep an open mind, I always encourage youngsters to move and get out of their comfort zones. Don’t limit yourself to the proximity of friends and family. You can always visit and make new friends. I do recommend to talk to the prospect for at least a year before committing. You should marry a friend not a stranger.
Great advice. I have been talking to him online for 5 months. Its a good idea to move out of comfort zones and make new friends. I just want to be there for my father in his older age, though he doesn’t require me, and being continents apart
will make it hard. My profession is also one that cannot be easily transferred across. I never imagined settling in the US so never prepared for it. I guess I will see how the next 7 months go and how the meeting goes one week from now. 3 days from now I will be on my first flight to the US. It should be an interesting experience