My Eldest brother is looking for a girl for his boy and I thought this really nice Pakistani Pharmacist would make a nice match for him, my brothers family is moderate not into hijab but also not into drinking and dating and this girl was also tall like him too. I asked my wife to call her and she did and the girl said she is single and my wife should go through her parents and she said she will call back with their number but she never did, I am curious as to why she never called back, my rule is to not pursue people who don’t show excitement, the other thing is that many girls are secretly seeing guys and dont admit to parents and continue claiming to be single. Or perhaps she didn’t call back because she knows I will have an occasional beverage but my nephew doesn’t. This will be such a shame as they would have fit so perfect. Both tall educated moderate and polite. My nephew just got promoted to VP at Bank of America at a very young age.
So should I ask my wife to call her back or just screw it, my brother and his boy seemed to like her on fb. Or is there someone any of you wanna suggest?
It could be a number of reasons. Maybe she felt your nephew did not show as much interest.Maybe he could get to know her on fb, find out her interests and see if they match. It could also be her parents have thought of her match elsewhere but it is not finalised. Maybe she wanted to be polite and not mention it. Maybe her parent’s criteria of a husband and differs from hers.
I don’t think you should call back immediately. Maybe wait for a while but let your nephew take initiative. Then when they like each other she will be more relaxed in bringing the rishta to the attention of her parents.
GS has a matrimonial page and there are many online Pakistani/Pakistani Amercan shaadi sites. There are many accomplished moderate Pakistani American females
without knowing your family and your nephew she may be hesitant to talk to her parents. Her parents probably have their own idea of who is perfect for their daughter.
My wife didn’t really get to exchange a lot of info with her, my nephew lives in NY and we are in Western Canada. The biggest problem with the culture is unclear/incorrect communications and assumptions. If some one approaches you and you have interest somewhere else than you just say. Oh!! thank you so much I feel flattered but unfortunately I am currently not interested in pursuing a relationship etc. If she assumed that my nephew drinks because I do than that would be a wrong assumption also. Don’t say you will call back then don’t. Do what you say you are going to do.
Bottom line is that she’s not interested. There’s no doubt that she’s educated/intelligent. If she has any interest in having some random family contact her parents on behalf of a guy she knows nothing about, she would have called your wife back. She did not. She is sending a clear message by her behavior. Right or wrong, perhaps she feels this is the most polite/professional way to say “no” to the random aunty who contacted her at her place of employment for rishta purposes. Either way, respect her choice and continue your search elsewhere.
I just spoke with my wife and she feels the same way but clear communication is a polite thing, and my wife is not a random aunty she is a very educated and accomplished professional graduate from McGill. Calling people aunties or uncles is so fobby, I guess you can take the people off the boat but not the boat off the people ..lol
I will be the odd one out when I say that your wife should call back again and ask for the number. That’s because in our culture, the boy’s side does the pursuing. Your wife could also explain to her how their cultural sensitivities match which includes not drinking.
Nosy old people by definition are aunty and uncle. That’s the politest thing anyone can call them because the other words are not that nice. You gotta take the respect when it comes.
Many older people here are stronger and more active than many lazy unaccomplished whining, flabby younger people. Age is just a number and if people don’t workout, eat healthy, engage in physical activities then why such pride over a number lol. My idea of youth is that if you can’t run a measly 10k, can’t swim 5k, ski, snowboard, do rock climbing, snorkel, scuba then what is so youthful? What youthful things do you engage in?
So enlighten me about your non desi ways, did you move out at 17, were you financially, emotionally, psychologically independent at 18? What physical activities do you engage in? Is your mother still feeding you?
PS there is a lot of match making going on between western people, my boy was set up by his best female friend. My boy set up his best friend Justin with the nice girl he is with right now.
Lol, I outgrew the identity issues when I was 17 that’s for certain. No inferiority complexes about being a brown person here. But I digress the girl can make up her mind whether she wants to marry anyone or not. Pushing it will kill it.
I agree with that, personally, I raised my kids to be independent in that area and my boy found his own gf at 18 and she sleeps over and we don’t have a problem with that. I am sure a VP for Bank of America at 30, 6-2 good looking guy will not have a shortage of choice, people should just stop limiting themselves to the culture as many from that culture adapt the worst of both cultures. Most of my nephews are marrying girls out of the culture. I hope he abandons his search in the culture and marries a coworker etc.
Pharmacists are usually pretty busy, I’ve worked with and talked to plenty of pharmacists for rishta, and I dunno what it is but they are one horrible texters and always reply late.
There are plenty of fish in the sea, your job is done. You’ve reached out to her, gave her a number, if she’s interested she’ll contact you. Some girls are shy and being called about a ristha out of the blue is kind of weird. She might just say she’s single just to get out of the conversation.
How does she know you drink? Seems kinda of random?
Like you said, you have a 30 year old, 6-2, Pakistani VP whose successful and is amazing, by my calculations he’s probably top 1% of what girls want. He’ll have no shortage of girls. Main thing is just keep a line out there and eventually someone will come along.
Thank you for a good response, this is a small pharmacy owned by an Egyptian guy, I have never seen a client there. They pay a lot of attention to me and know me quite well. She knows about my beverages as she asked me it regarding some medication. When you are looking for Pakistani girls who are educated, polite and courteous, fit etc and not over modern or over religious the pool gets very small. I feel that soon he will get frustrated and marry out of the culture. It really is a mistake raising boys to be shareef.