Re: Shall I end this marriage or not?
True NISHA. :(
Re: Shall I end this marriage or not?
so just because this "perfect husband" might not come along, she should remain in a marriage with a man who cannot be trusted and cannot commit and most-likely doesn't respect her?
Re: Shall I end this marriage or not?
So abuse is better than being single? Wow, talk about self esteem issues.
Re: Shall I end this marriage or not?
Why should this girl suffer pain and hurt being in a relationship with a disloyal person? Men like her husband knows how to make a fool out of her wife... If he was sorry for his actions, he would have already asked her for apology... This guy is an unfaithful ******* and she shouldnt put up with him by thinking "who is my husband sleeping with at this moment?".... She does not deserve a trashbag....
Re: Shall I end this marriage or not?
well I hope the OP has a great job already so she can be happy in life in that regard. be self reliant and think positively....easier said than done, ah kno
Re: Shall I end this marriage or not?
why do people feel that a woman's existence and happiness depends upon her husband only ?
Re: Shall I end this marriage or not?
so just because this "perfect husband" might not come along, she should remain in a marriage with a man who cannot be trusted and cannot commit and most-likely doesn't respect her?
never said that.why rely on this imaginary perfect husband to come along, she can be happy on her own away from all that pain.
but for me saying divorce to her is so hard, it's something she has to think up on her own after examining her situation and knowing her husband better than any of us and making the best decision....
Re: Shall I end this marriage or not?
can i add, does a woman’s existence and happiness depend on having a man or getting that perfect man in her life or having that perfect little storybook ending? i know a couple women that are actually happier after getting a divorce and separating from men that had only given them violence and pain, i’m actually seeing them smiling again but still it was their decision to opt for divorce.
the OP has seen violence plus alleged infidelity as well as lies and still there’s a question on whether to leave this man or not…i’m just hoping she gathers enough strength for whatever decision she makes that’s all.
lord, where did i say violence and abuse is better, check my comment again.
Re: Shall I end this marriage or not?
can *i add, does a woman's existence and happiness depend on having a man or getting that perfect man in her life or having that perfect little storybook ending? i know a couple women that are actually happier after getting a divorce and separating from men that had only given them violence and pain, i'm actually seeing them smiling again but still it was their decision to opt for divorce. *
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I completely endorse your point of view.
Re: Shall I end this marriage or not?
Edit: Nevermind
Re: Shall I end this marriage or not?
I don't think the problem here is the in-laws. Them not liking you is insignificant compared to the violent behavior you endured from your husband. He cheated on you and doesn't care. Have you confronted him about the affair and did he admit to it?
He needed the separation to figure out his life. To fix his life, then work on his marriage. He obviously has some other issues, that's probably the reason why he's not being assertive or fighting to save the marriage. Either that, or he's over the marriage and wants out.
If he really did cheat on you, I would have trouble trusting him again. I don't think I could stay married for much longer to a guy who would do that to me.
Re: Shall I end this marriage or not?
I'm sorry, but don;t waste your time, life is too short to waste for such people.
Re: Shall I end this marriage or not?
It’s really sad when these things happen after a love marriage, and after both people had gained mutual understanding and respect for each other.
Stuff like this scares me so much, I know I’m just ranting, but…
Jassi, I hope you have enough strength to do what’s right.
Re: Shall I end this marriage or not?
When you asked him why he cheated on you - what did he say then?
Re: Shall I end this marriage or not?
End it. There is a reason the option stroke your mind and we dont know anything better than you. You know what you can live with and what you're living with. Just remember, you're the one who's suppose to live with this decision, not some random dude/dudette on GS. Make the decision you know you wont regret! And trust me, staying in an abusive relationship, which 99% sure is going to get worse, will make you regret!
Re: Shall I end this marriage or not?
My advice is to prepare yourself financially first, weigh your options, consult with an attorney and then carefully make your first move.
You should leave him but its easier said than done. Before you do that, you have to make sure your ducks are in a row.
Dont make any sudden moves and get legal advice before you do.
Re: Shall I end this marriage or not?
You're in a nice position to get out of this marriage. You don't have kids, and you have a good reason to get out- everyone understands it's better to live alone then a live a life with someone who commits adultery and violence. You have to ask yourself, why would you want to stay with him? Because you fear that you may never marry again and or have kids? And I know it's easy to say that "just"...but consider the alternative: Would you really rather want your kids to have a father who abuses you and commits adultery?
Most likely you WILL inshallah remarry. Most divorcees do. ANd even if you are the very unlucky 0.5% or women who don't, I think it would better to live alone, then live such a humiliating life, and have to have your future children bear through it to. Not to mention, that if he is a player, you are at risk of so many scary STDs. Think herpes, hpv, hiv, hepatitis gonorrhea, chlamydia. Being married to an adulterer is not just an emotional risk, but carries a very large health risk.
Re: Shall I end this marriage or not?
end it if you can.
Re: Shall I end this marriage or not?
sweetie, if there is any type of abuse in a relationship, its bad and a reason to walk away. There is no justification for someone being like this with you. On top of that, if drugs, especially cocaine are involved, then RUN. It wont change. Walking away will be hard, but you will be rewarded for your courage.
Trust me, no matter what people say, you will be much happier once you are officially out of this mess and away from him. Good luck xx
Re: Shall I end this marriage or not?
If a man doesn't have the good sense to want you, he's too stupid to deserve you. Without trust you have nothing. NOTHING. Why would you want him back? A liar and a cheat? That will never end.
I once got a call from the then-current wife of my ex. She wanted to know if his behaviour was a pattern. I listened to the details of how he was with her, and indeed, it was just a rerun of us. I told her about how it happened with us (2 decades earlier!) and she said, "Oh. I think I stole him from the woman who stole him from you!"
Why do desis always think even a fourth class husband is better than no husband at all?? Are women considered such low creatures that we have to accept whatever a person with a "Y" chromosome chooses to dish out??
DIVORCE!!