Re: shakin hands
lo thats not a very gud solution is it
Re: shakin hands
lazy_daisy
stop pickin on me man i just expressed my feelings and asked for point of views don't mean u hav to start on me
Re: shakin hands
[quote=naved_ltf] muslima1 how old r you? [/quote}
about three quarters of your age
[/quote]
my dear, the reason i asked was to understand ur situation better. the smart-alec comment wasnt wat i was lookin for...
Re: shakin hands
^^^ lol naved… you need to spend some time in cafe to learn how to deal with these kids
Muslima1
you sound confused, Naved was the only one in this thread who was genuinely trying to help you
he needed to ask you more questions to find out why you beahved in this manner because you appeared to have other issues..I do not mean to say this in a bad way
anyway, getting back to your problem
I work with many muslim ladies and they either say “im afraid I dont shake hands” OR greet the other person with their arms firmly by their sides and offer an explanation…
most people understand
you need to be confident and assertive
on a different note,
I read once that 90percent of men dont wash their hands when they use the bathroom:devil:
Re: shakin hands
If its desi (regardless in biz world), then just say, "I am sorry, I cannot shake hands with you. I hope you understand". Let him think whatever, if he is half the gentleman he will understand.
Yeah Prince...You are right...
Usually after a succesful business deal, they celebrate by drinking, we should also make an exception in that? How about partying? Sometimes it's the norm to have a lot of dancing and hanky panky in the business/corporate world...Should we make an exception there too? What do you think, my sweet prince?
Re: shakin hands
You just tell him "Sorry, I can't do that due to religious reasons. I hope you don't mind." Whenever I've tried it, they were all very understanding.
Many of my friends have also done it and it worked fine. If you're scared to do that, you can try another technique--make sure you keep that hand full at the time so that he won't even bother.
Re: shakin hands
Lajawab, 16 year olds dont usually attend those
by the way
Pakistani men (in pakistan) tend to shake hands and they kiss your hand too
Re: shakin hands
no im not scared to tell sum1 that i dont wanna shake hands with them
thank u fdor that explanation lazy_daisy
Re: shakin hands
Youre very welcome Mulslima:flower2:
and I for my part apologise if i sounded a tad grumpy earlier in the thread
Re: shakin hands
muslima1,
at ur age of 16, i think it might just be because of adolescence and hormonal changes tht u might be feeling awkward at shaking hands with guys. if this is the case, then you'll outgrow it in a few years and everything is well and good.
in case thts not the case and if its because of some beliefs you are carrying around with you, then i'm afraid its time for you to be decisive and shake such beleifs off ur mind.
firstly, dont confuse religion with normal day to day etiquettes like shaking hands, making eye contact while speaking or smiling etc. Religion is a facilitator and not a dictator! realise and understand that, ALWAYS. if anyone advises you against it on grounds of religion, then feel free to ignore such advises cos they'd do you no good.
secondly, if the occasion suits it, for example getting introduced, greeting or meeting someone or departing from a conversation. In such cases shaking hands is the very correct and decent way to go about it. additionally, i disagree with PrinceMS when he sez that you need to make exception for westerners only. that is totally wrong. if you feel the other person is a proper genuine guy and puts his hand forward for a hand-shake, then theres nothing wrong with him being desi or non desi.
of course, if the other guy is a creepy sleazeball with a dirty grin on his face, dont even bother to look at the hand or reply.
lastly, remember to always be confident and assertive( as rightly put by L_D). Of course, you can always say NO to people and i'm sure most will understand but as i said previously as well...it just creates a negative image of you(in their mind). believe me it does. Besides shying away frm such simple matters of etiquette just hinders in ur development into a mature, reasonable and Smart individual cos it just clutters your brain with needless and completely avoidable mumbo-jumbo.
:)
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Oh Naved Naved Naved!!!
very well said,( Muslima please take in what he says)
having said that Naved Pleaaase remember youre in the religion forum
basically you are gonna get lynched now:devil: 
Re: shakin hands
lets bring’em on!!!
Re: shakin hands
I think the whole discussion went on a wrong track.
There is a valid argument, with appropriate support, to suggest a muslim woman should not shake hands or unnecessarily touch a non-mehram man. If someone believes in that sincerely and fully, more power to them. I don't think there is a need to find exceptions for business or whatever.
If someone sticks their hand out, you can politely smile and say "I am sorry I don't shake hands but I am very pleased to meet you". Unless specifically asked and you are comfortable sharing, then you don't even have to explain why. You are probably too young to deal with people who are exposed to various cultures, but there are unique characteristics of each culture and most people respect that. For example, in Japan, rather than shake hands, they bow slightly; and they will present their business cards with both hands. Its considered rude to give your business card with just one hand. With time, people learn, understand and appreciate that. Not shaking hands is your choice and you should feel free to exercise your right.
Re: shakin hands
faisal bhai, the japanese dont get all quesy when you offer them a hand. they readily shake it. while doing so, they do give a slight nod of the head and a slight bow. but they dont stand there and bow and say..."i dont shake hands...no thank you"
:):D
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There are many people who don't shake hands. You will never see Donald Trump shake hands. His reasons are different, ofcourse (he feels hand shakes transmit germs). And he is in such a position of power that he doesn't have to explain himself or compromise on his values, but the point is, no one should be forced to touch anyone. Shake hands is same. Its a cultural thing, not a mandatory thing. In professional and business world, people expect you to be competent and polite. Not shaking hands is not likely to get you in trouble, anyway.
Re: shakin hands
faisal, the discussion is on something else here.
the question was that Muslima1 felt very uncomfortable shaking hands with males who r not related to her. she asked wat to do when a man puts his hand forward to shake.
BTW, in reponse to
[quote]
In professional and business world, people expect you to be competent and polite. Not shaking hands is not likely to get you in trouble, anyway.
[/quote]
of course it wont. but wud u rather create a negative vibe by disregarding an outstretched hand.
i never said...go out there and shake all the hands you see.
but in case, you are offered an outstretched hand...you gotta shake it. simple enough?
look faisal, lets not give this 16 year old any wrong notions of how its OK to negate genuine hand-shakes...cos we all know its not.
PS: faisal, i've elaborated on this topic in the first post on this page. keep tht as the context of my post.last PARA especially
Re: shakin hands
Well, I understand what you are saying, but I disagree with it. I think if someone (muslima1, in this case) doesn't want to shake hands because of her religious convictions, I'd say more power to her. She should not be forced to do anything she is not comfortable doing. Plus, as I said before, there is a reasonable and supportable argument in muslim jurisprudence that says a muslim woman should not touch (shake hands) with non-mehram men. If someone believes it to be a correct opinion, then thats fine. Its their life and their choice. Why should we insist that they change their ways and go against their religious convictions to conform to a simple cultural ritual (i.e. shaking hands) which is not a required part of our lives anyway.
By the way, I already gave my opinion on the question as to what to do if someone offers their hand.
I know a gentleman in Pakistan (who was my boss) who for similar reasons would never shake hands with any woman. He is a very senior guy in a huge international organization and is very well-respected for his knowledge and competence... but hand-shake or lack of it, is never an issue. Many times, women in business settings, offered their hand for a hand-shake and he will politely place his hands on his chest and politely tells them how much he appreciates meeting with them, but he doesn't shake hands with women. There will usually be a slightly embarassed smile and then the a nod and the discussion continues. Its really not a big deal.
Re: shakin hands
^ if u politely tell ppl that u do (or do not do) a certain thing cuz of religious obligations, i experienced that most of the time they respect u for it and do not feel offended....
ofcourse if u move away rudely to avoid handshake, ppl from other religions/cultures can easily get offended....
Re: shakin hands
I don’t know from where you get this [dis]information.
Being a Pakistani man (in pakistan) let me clarify :
Pakistani men shake hands with guys and they DO NOT kiss their hand. But if the guy is good friend then they tend to hug eachother and try to break one or two ribs in the process.
Pakistani men do not offer hand shake to Pakistani ladies, for the fear that lady in question might be interested to check the skin on the face of guy…
But if a rare lady offers her hand for shake they usually accept it and then they do not wash it for several days and avoid any deliberate contact of anything with this hand for many days to come
Muslima1 : as your location reads: “you live in other people’s hearts , laugh out loud !”
Although there was nothing to laugh about, but as you insist
ok " ha ha ha " 
There are few ways you can avoid hand shake with nasty monsters otherwise known as men.
- Cut the normal tissue paper in four pieces and pick your nose with one of them at a time
- make habbit of putting your fingers in your nostril specially when you meet new people and take your time in cleaning them thoroughly.
- make nasal sounds when you laugh like Sandra bullock in the movie ’ Miss contigency’
- Grow your nail atleast one inch long and try to bend them in curves (just likes witches ) and take good care of them, show them to anyone interested in handshake. I gaurentee you that he would move a few steps backwards…