i think the root of this problem are the mothers that are raising their daughters in the shadows of hatred they themselves felt and continue feeling for their own in laws (the girl’s paternal grandparents)… khud tho himmat nahi hui to get their own sep living (for whatever reason)… so they just poision their girls minds with a very twisted pic of what or how in laws are like. with such upbringing, its only normal a girl express great interest in having her own place and not want to live in a joint family system. before even knowing how its gonna be… just be lucky your honay wali biwi is allowing you to see your own parents, alag rehna tho bohat choti si baath hai. cuz thats what the mother has taught her daughter… mil is chalak and will do everything to make you suffer just like your dadi did with me, and the fil, well he is just a good for nothing buddha tuddha you have to cater to morning noon and night.
if these same mothers taught their girls HOW to live in a joint family system, put forth a positive image of how in laws can be, how to respect those elder than you, how to just shut up for the first yr of marriage (unless you are being abused verbally or physically, then you speak up) and dont take everything ure mil or fil or sil or bil say to heart… girls wouldnt be so paranoid about living with in laws… they would atleast be willing to do so … and then leave it to the actual live in bit to know if they wanna continue doing so.
but noooooooo… the very thought is a recipe for disaster since that is how its been portrayed from the very beginning.
thank you such mommies.