A couple of weeks before my youngest phuppos wedding - over 10 years ago, I woke up at night to get some water. Anywho, I could hear what sounded like porn coming from her room at around 1 in the morning: it wasn't. I listened carefully (and no, I'm not a pervert!). It was her having phonesex (I think, could be skype, was skype even around back then?) with her now husband of 10+ years and father to her children. Never told anyone, just thought - you dirty mare!
Dude, first it was weird stories about your friends, and now family.
Dude, first it was weird stories about your friends, and now family.
Meh, one persons weird is another persons normal. Seemed appropriate to tell this story for some reason. I don't get why so many people on this forum exhibit such prudish behavior or have they really led such sheltered lives?
Well he made a mistake, everyone makes mistakes. It's better in my opinion to actually having an intercourse which in my opinion a lot of desi couples do before Nikkah. Which is a lot worst. At least he has a conscience to be able to feel guilty about the whole ordeal. If it were some selfish person he would have said "meh". But I think his character reflects his genuineness as a man to be able to respect a woman and not have physical intercourse with her, but rather cyber.
So is he doing any ahsan on all of us by feeling guilty about it? He better feel guilty about it!
And what are you referring to as his mistake? Sexting, or his decision to dump her after sexting?
So is he doing any ahsan on all of us by feeling guilty about it? He better feel guilty about it!
And what are referring to as his mistake? Sexting, or his decision to dump her after sexting?
Am I the only one who didn't care for the Op's tone in both of his sexting threads? I don't like that his posts carry an undertone of dismissal and what sounds like even amusement to me at times.
"If it were some selfish person, he would have said meh."
Oh but your friend is selfish. When he hinted/suggested/initiated (whatever you wanna call it) the sexting after only knowing this girl for 2 days as per your last thread........tell me who was your friend thinking of at that time? Certainly not the girl. He was thinking about himself and his desires. You don't think that's selfish? Later on he started doubting the girl's character for committing the same mistake that she did. Was he not selfish in his judgment? And then he had reservations about the girl's height and her physical handicap. If he met the girl in person, then he was well aware of her physical "flaws" from the beginning but it didn't deter him from attempting to sext with her. Is that not selfish? He did "use" her for his own lust....and the word "use" may seem distasteful to you but it doesn't change the reality that he used her. You seem to think that "izzat" is only confined to something physical like zina. But izzat is a quality that is also reflected in the way that a person speaks, behaves, dresses, carries himself. The way he treated her does not reflect izzat or "genuineness" of character. It does not reflect respect/izzat for her. When in doubt a guy should just replace girl in the equation with his sister or daughter and if it disturbs/disgusts/infuriates him....then that lets him know that his actions were maybe not as genuine or decent as he'd like to believe.
You make it seem like getting married is like getting a Nobel Peace prize. Obviously people get married to procreate hence the "Suhaag Raat". It is expected that you get intimate on the very first day. I think waiting weeks is a more liberal viewpoint and being able to say "Oh I'm so emotionally unstable now, give me few weeks". Then don't get married.
What Theorist said. And also you come across as really insensitive and unable to understand other peoples emotions. Its not just a " liberal viewpoint". Islamically the Prophet pbuh taught that intimacy with your spouse should not be forced or carried out when one spouse is not ready for it. A husband and wife should respect and try to understand each others feelings on the matter.
Also realistically its not always possible for it to happen on the first night. Weddings are exhausting. Most couples get married, go home and go to sleep.
Lol "expected". By who? The family and society? Cause that's what matters in a marriage right? Not your spouses expectations :/
Girls are really stupid for sexting/phone sex/skype sex/sending sexy or nude photos during ristha process..it's so much easier to do these days with technology from cell phones to emails to whatsapp to skype..those guys, who were basically strangers to you just a few weeks ago, are going to use you for their pleasure and likely ditch you because they'll think you've done this with other guys. Dont fall for the temptation. No guy wants a girl that has been around nor do they want someone else's sloppy seconds. And in the end it will come back to hurt you more than him, not worth the pleasure or the risk for a girl IMO. The reality is girls get judged for being sexual by guys when it comes time for marriage and it will be held against them--this is done in every society and every religion, not specific to muslim guys, muslims guys are just less forgiving about sexual past of a girl. Why risk it without at the very least a serious commitment (i.e. engagement or nikkah). Plus things get saved and recorded so easily these days that you're risking hurting your future reputation and even future marriage. For girls who just reassure themselves thinking their husband won't ever find out, don't be so sure, if you hide these things and they get exposed after marriage, it'll likely impact your marriage due to the loss of trust or because of whatever other thoughts that start coming into your husbands mind, which will most likely come up with things that were much worse than reality...is it really worth all that risk? And it's so easy to save and record chats, pictures, emails and skype video sessions, and guys do in fact save and record things all the time while engaging in this behavior and girls don't even know it..be smarter girls, don't let guys use you regardless of how hard they try to sext with you..wait for engagement at very least
And if you're going to engage in this behavior before marriage then stick with the guy and marry him, don't make issues after doing all this with the guy and then say "oh he's not right"..so ridiculous
Girls are really stupid for sexting/phone sex/skype sex/sending sexy or nude photos during ristha process..it's so much easier to do these days with technology from cell phones to emails to whatsapp to skype..those guys, who were basically strangers to you just a few weeks ago, are going to use you for their pleasure and likely ditch you because they'll think you've done this with other guys. Dont fall for the temptation. No guy wants a girl that has been around nor do they want someone else's sloppy seconds. And in the end it will come back to hurt you more than him, not worth the pleasure or the risk for a girl IMO. The reality is girls get judged for being sexual by guys when it comes time for marriage and it will be held against them--this is done in every society and every religion, not specific to muslim guys, muslims guys are just less forgiving about sexual past of a girl. Why risk it without at the very least a serious commitment (i.e. engagement or nikkah). Plus things get saved and recorded so easily these days that you're risking hurting your future reputation and even future marriage. For girls who just reassure themselves thinking their husband won't ever find out, don't be so sure, if you hide these things and they get exposed after marriage, it'll likely impact your marriage due to the loss of trust or because of whatever other thoughts that start coming into your husbands mind, which will most likely come up with things that were much worse than reality...is it really worth all that risk? And it's so easy to save and record chats, pictures, emails and skype video sessions, and guys do in fact save and record things all the time while engaging in this behavior and girls don't even know it..be smarter girls, don't let guys use you regardless of how hard they try to sext with you..wait for engagement at very least
And if you're going to engage in this behavior before marriage then stick with the guy and marry him, don't make issues after doing all this with the guy and then say "oh he's not right"..so ridiculous
annddd a 1 annddd 2 annndd a 3.. now deeeeeppp breathing. There we go.. doesn't that feel better? :D lol.
Don't get your Bp all high. I'm pretty sure OP is a troll. He didn't understand in the first thread so he made another one. Stop feeding him everybody. This is just madness.
Don't do it. I won't do it. Too shy to do so any ways lol. And if two people are not married and yet sext, they're still not legally bond so yeah... Move on!!!
Don't do it. I won't do it. Too shy to do so any ways lol. And if two people are not married and yet sext, they're still not legally bond so yeah... Move on!!!
hey rose dreams, what happened to that married work guy ?
annddd a 1 annddd 2 annndd a 3.. now deeeeeppp breathing. There we go.. doesn't that feel better? :D lol.
Don't get your Bp all high. I'm pretty sure OP is a troll. He didn't understand in the first thread so he made another one. Stop feeding him everybody. This is just madness.
Haha my post wasnt directed towards OP so its irrelevant if the guy is a troll or not, this is becoming a common thing during ristha process as I myself have experienced it. I'm telling girls to be smarter about it because in the end it hurts them more than it'll ever hurt me or any other guy.
Haha my post wasnt directed towards OP so its irrelevant if the guy is a troll or not, this is becoming a common thing during ristha process as I myself have experienced it. I'm telling girls to be smarter about it because in the end it hurts them more than it'll ever hurt me or any other guy.
Yah, we do know about your little stunt of watching porn with your ex.
:D
If I go arranged marriage route, wedding night would be super weird. You don't know the other person really well, except for the phone conversations or coffee meet ups or dinner etc. And then you put them in a room with one bed. I would probably ask her to sleep on the couch or sleep on the couch myself until I don't feel weird. Me no arranged marriage please
Why would it be weird? Surely you will have emotionally bonded with your spouse by the time you get married unless you get dragged back to Jhelum or wtf you are from back home to marry some paindoo girl.
no girl has ever been sexual with me yet over Skype, phone or text :/ I am doing it all wrong
Girls usually don't initiate such acts, experienced girls are exceptional. Otherwise , girls who have never done it before, they are clueless.
Your good......DONT ever think about it!
Sometimes some guys manipulate girls into sexting /phone sex to get girls emotionally attached to them, so that they can use the girls , take out their sexual frustation and dump them later on, even after committed gf/bf relationships.
Its best n wise decision to avoid any physical intimacy till marriage. I think Guys should be very responsible & carefull in this matter because they have greater control on their desires.
Girls usually don't initiate such acts, experienced girls are exceptional. Otherwise , *girls who have never done it before, they are clueless. *
Your good......DONT ever think about it!
Sometimes some guys manipulate girls into sexting /phone sex to get girls emotionally attached to them, so that they can use the girls , take out their sexual frustation and dump them later on, even after committed gf/bf relationships.
Its best n wise decision to avoid any physical intimacy till marriage. I think Guys should be very responsible & carefull in this matter because they have greater control on their desires.