Ok guys, this is a continuation from my previous thread “How to make bhao puri”. Ok now is it ok for you to sext before marriage? Now a days parents easily give the phone #s](http://www.paklinks.com/gs/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=s) of their kids to their would be spouses in the hopes that the kids will get to know their future partners a little better. But instead kids take advantage of this freedom by sexting away willy nilly. My question to you is this. Is it ok to get involved in an activity like this? Say for example you may have sexted someone whom your parents wanted you to get married. But the circumstances have changed now and you no longer see the other person as a viable future husband/wife. Now that you have sexted does that mean you have gotten yourself in to some pre nikkah bond that must be fulfilled? Would it be evil or selfish on your part to break up the mangni/baat paaki after you have sexted? How would the girl feel? Would she say “Haye meri izzat lutt gayi?” These are all serious questions mods please do not ban this thread I AM dead serious my friend is going through a situation like this. I have to help him.
Re: Sexting before Nikkah
well if i am committed to someone and i know i am going to marry her then I don't think its a problem. Rather i would say thats a way to communicate effectively of what you like and what other person like.
But yea, if you are deciding the future of your relationship on this thing then i believe you need to address other issues rather than worrying about sexting.
Re: Sexting before Nikkah
Until you are married, not engaged - but proper nikkah-shudda - then no, no sexting. And quite frankly, with the NSA and other hackers out there - how secure are your communications? Quite frankly, avoid anything that can be reproduced and misused against you and this applies to both guys and girls.
Re: Sexting before Nikkah
Until you are married, not engaged - but proper nikkah-shudda - then no, no sexting. And quite frankly, with the NSA and other hackers out there - how secure are your communications? Quite frankly, avoid anything that can be reproduced and misused against you and this applies to both guys and girls.
I think my friend isn't too much worried about the NSA as he is with cough other matters at hand. Right, you definitely make a good point. Now tell me, you're a girl. How would you end something like this? Like would you just stop talking with the guy? If you had to end it? Knowing that it had reached to this level? I want to know a female perspective? Would you feel sad?
Re: Sexting before Nikkah
I have met some tharki guys who wanted to carry on inappropriate conversations. That was a total no-go for me and I said as much to the guys, point-blank. Whether I was even willing to continue talking to the guy had a lot to do with how he tharki he was, and truth be told, it's a big black mark against the guy and tough to recover from.
And totally no regrets or sadness. Just a sense of disappointment that the guy didn’t have the necessary control over his base desires. Made me question guys' morality in general.
Re: Sexting before Nikkah
Until you are married, not engaged - but proper nikkah-shudda - then no, no sexting. And quite frankly, with the NSA and other hackers out there - how secure are your communications? Quite frankly, avoid anything that can be reproduced and misused against you and this applies to both guys and girls.
there is an option to handle this ... use an app which has end-to-end encryption. TextSecure or Telegram are good options.
Re: Sexting before Nikkah
there is an option to handle this ... use an app which has end-to-end encryption. TextSecure or Telegram are good options.
So now I'm going to bring the God card into this. Um, He still knows what you're up to and the person who is not your spouse does to. Until you marry said person, they can hold it against you and until the Qazi performs the nikkah - the marriage is not a sure thing.
Re: Sexting before Nikkah
there is an option to handle this ... use an app which has end-to-end encryption. TextSecure or Telegram are good options.
LOL. So much effort just to be able to sext. VAary Naice.
Re: Sexting before Nikkah
I don't see a problem but what if they dump you the next day or days later, who is going to be disappointed the most? Do you really want to live with that? Are you going to sext the next rishta guy/girl too? What if they dump you too? Won't you feel a little used? Don't get used and don't welcome the opportunity. It's all about protecting your own feelings so you don't regret doing something stupid.
Re: Sexting before Nikkah
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Re: Sexting before Nikkah
No. No. No.
Re: Sexting before Nikkah
Islamically, it's definitely not okay but if the relationship is serious like an engagement, I don't really see what's wrong with that.
Re: Sexting before Nikkah
Until you are married, not engaged - but proper nikkah-shudda - then no, no sexting. And quite frankly, with the NSA and other hackers out there - how secure are your communications? Quite frankly, avoid anything that can be reproduced and misused against you and this applies to both guys and girls.
I agree - patience is a virtue.
Re: Sexting before Nikkah
I don't follow every Islamic ruling; I am aware of my hypocrisies even as I post this and so is Allah. But I am going to bring in the God card too.
There is wisdom in Allah's rules and sadly we (myself included) don't realize that until much after we make our mistakes and get hurt. Allah didn't just say don't commit zina...He said don't even go "near" it...and "near" includes all sorts of activities that fall short of actual sexual intercourse.
When someone insults us, we feel hurt even though it wasn't a physical assault. But it was just words, right? It can be easy to dismiss sexting as mere words, but words are powerful. They can evoke a wide range of emotions such as hope, trust, warmth, fear, pain etc etc.
When you engage in sexting...you and the other person may do so on the premise that this is how things would go "if" or "when" we are/were married....it's like playing pretend-marriage. And this reasoning may be used as justification in moments of weakness, but it's not a sound one because it comes with no future guarantees and it can still produce feelings of attachment that can be hard to move on from. As I said earlier, this kind of intimacy effects the genders differently. Unless the girl is someone who is carefree and of a "loose" character, the realization of her mistake will hit her at a later point with greater gravity/shame/guilt when she sees that the guy no longer wants to maintain contact with her......much less commit.
Larki ki izzat physical sense main to nahi looti....but there is still a loss of izzat in terms of self-respect...and the shame of that may be felt more acutely later on if not sooner. There are non-tangible forms of izzat as well. It's easy to get swayed and caught up in the moment and to find temporary but flimsy justifications...but at a later point the person (and especially the girl) may realize that Allah ki nazron k ilava woh apni nazron main bhi gir chuki hai.
If your friend truly respected and cared for the girl, he wouldn't have suggested/hinted/initiated/tempted her with sexting...especially when he barely knew her. And if the girl respected herself, she wouldn't have given into him. And now that he wants to back out, she'll see that intimacy for what it really was...and she'll understand with greater clarity what she was to him and where she stood/stands with him. The truth is that she's not worth much to him. He didn't value her much at the time of sexting and he doesn't value her now either. If your friend doesn't want to commit to her....if he doesn't have feelings for her...she can't force him to be with her. You're trying to help him, but his problem runs much deeper than sexting due to his double standards.
Re: Sexting before Nikkah
Well then by that token, why not go all the way? Titillation by pictures or actual conducting of a physical relationship - once the relationship is serious like an engagement, what could possibly be wrong with it 
Re: Sexting before Nikkah
So now I'm going to bring the God card into this. Um, He still knows what you're up to and the person who is not your spouse does to. Until you marry said person, they can hold it against you and until the Qazi performs the nikkah - the marriage is not a sure thing.
ah the legendary God card, which is not used in our day to day activities but is always pulled when we try to win an argument.
Re: Sexting before Nikkah
^ I tend to use the card rather sparingly because I know that we are all imperfect and sinners in our right. But there are certain actions which I just don’t see any value in or defense of. The actions inappropriateness doesn’t just cross social, but also religious boundaries and for what? A cheap thrill 
Re: Sexting before Nikkah
sehrysh said titillation snorts and gets excited
wait wat.
izzat lutt’ing is serious business. no girl should have that done to her izzats :no:
Re: Sexting before Nikkah
on a more serious and, going by some replies here, prudeish note. sexting is a no. flirting i guess depends on the couple but why can’t you just keep it in your pants? isn’t that kinda cringey anyway? and okay, assume you’ve sexted and now it’s not working it out. i think people should at least respect the intimacy or whatever they shared and just keep shtum about it. what’s with sharing these kinda things
Re: Sexting before Nikkah
Marriage is a big step. Both people involved must have respect for each other to make a marriage work. Doing this kind of stuff before marriage is not showing respect to your potential spouse. And an engagement is not guaranteed to end in marriage. If it breaks you haven't just cheated the other person you've also cheated yourself. Will you do the same with another potential spouse?