wth is rong with u ppl!!after nikah u can do whatever u want with ur husband/wife and why would ur parents be against u having physical relationship with ur husband/wife before rukhsati??..oh let me guess cuz of some of our customs/traditions…why don,t they understand that these traditions go against the nature of islam and as muslim to give them so much importence is totally unislamic !!:halo: …i don,.t know but this culture **** has messed up whole pakistan cuz ppl mix it with their religioun to backup their unislamic social customs:o …
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there was a girl i met and she told me that she wants to
do nikah with her fiancee without living with him and live
with her parents and i could not understand why and what
is da reason behind her saying this i thought what an embecile
and ignorant woman… but now i do… i get her point.
but i get the message .. there are lots of reason why ppl do this.
here are few of them ..
1- Save $$ and prepare for the BIG DAY - marriage or ruksati
2- Perhaps she has to wait for her legal papers or sponsorship
so she must live with her parents for that time n he is abroad.
3- Make it official so that the guy and the girl can go out w/o
da world raising fingers at em and following islamic laws…
4- May be they cannot wait till ruksti or marriage and love ea.
other so much dat they got to be together no matter.. so in
order to live together they have to make it official n legal to
have sex or intimacy or what ever they desire - legally to
do what they please instead of playing hide n seek. ..
5- Or maybe their illegal intimacy was caught on tape or some 1
reported em so now they are stuck w/ da stigma n got to do
or forced to do the nikah coz the family values are at stake or
and make it official for the world to approve and agree.
5- They both might be in school or apart or one in school and
da other is at home so to lock the bond make it permanent
some legal ceremony is needed or family issues - inheritance
wills or DAD is dying or grandma is old n wishes to see the 2
kids in her life time being legally wedlocked etc.. …
There are many many reason why ppl do this .. I personally did
not know all this until recently. Oh well..
I did not approve of this due to lack of knowledge but now ..
hopefull we all do now.. .
… my apologies to her for being ignorant …
This is a perfect example when they say kid think out of da box
nikah is the final hurdle…after that everything is HALAL…rukhsati is more of a cultural / traditional thing than islamic. once ur nikah is done u are husband and wife and your rights as husband and wife start from that very moment when sign those nikah papers.nothing is unislamic after that including sex and why should parents object if a married couple is engaging in sexual activities? they ARE married…:halo:
[quote=Sparrow]
okay check this out…i’ve had this conversation with my mum and she said that the whole point of doing nikkah is so that if the boy and girl are seen out together i.e. shopping, restaurant etc…then people can’t say anything coz you’ve had your nikkah . But she also said that under no circumstances should the boy and girl have sex until the rukhsati even if it’s a few years later! Like impulse said the reason why the rukhsati might be a bit later is for many reasons…i.e. the family is saving up for the wedding and all these other reasons.
my mum and i’m sure a lot of other parents do not thiink you are husband and wife until the rukhsati
I respect your Mom’s views on this but she is not a religious authority on this. All the reasons mentioned on these posts are cultural and have nothing to do with religion. So the bottom line is if u feel comfortable having sex between Nikah and rukhsati go for it. And if you are scared of people around you then worry about them and deprive yourself of something which you made halal for yourself by doing nikah.
Its stupid to have Nikaah and then have Ruksathi about 1 yr or somethin.
but thats my point of vieuw. And about that question if you may have sex
with ur husband/wife i think you can have sex coz u have done
Nikaah and ur husband/wife now so i dont know why u cant have sex.
all those people who are arguing against the delayed rukhsati should also consider that there could be a lot of issues for delaying the rukhsati such as immigration issues or probably some family circumstances..and who so ever said that they should just do the engagement than nikkah must know that there is no such thing as engagement in Islam and thus Nikkah is the only choice left if you want to be in a committed relationship islamically...you dun have to go alll out after nikkah but still the assurance and the trust can be build only after nikkah when you get to know each other in an Islamic way rather than dating or going out after an engagement since you are still na-mehram to each other!!!!
Rukhsati is totally cultural,a man and woman can do as they wish once they have had there nikkah done. Rukhsati is just a cultural ceremony to keep everyone else happy, a Rukhsati has no meaning in islam.
I really dont understand why some parents make their children wait after so and so amount of time to have their rukhsati after they have had there nikkah for what reason?
Its not fair on the couple involved i mean at the end of the day there married for god sake!!! Why prolong the process with a whole load of cultural rasmeh etc.!!
Sometimes, it’s the couple themselves that want to, and like Gemini siad, ther’es lots of reasons, cmpleting education, immigration etc.
Engagement is nothing compared to nikkah, engagements can be very fragile and have vrey little importance. Esp since in islam, ther’es no such thing as an engagement, ure relationship wit ur fiance is pretty much the same thing as dating some guy.
If you opt for a later rukhsati, nikkah is the way to go. :k:
As a serious note, why would like to be pregnant straight after marriage? Wouldn't u like to spend time with ur spous before starting a family? I'd say better to have a year or two just without kids, enjoy the life, give time to each other & then go for the family.
thats true, the couple should spend time with each other. however after the rukhsati if the girl accidently becomes pregnant....it would be ok....but before rukhsati its different.
i mean assuming the girl is still studying etc...it would be awkward if she got pregnant.
I dont think its THAT comon Impulse.
As a matter of fact. From all of the weddings I have seen Nikah and Ruksathi happened at the same time. And that wasnt just in pakistan
It is legit to have sex after nikah, BUT I dont think it is fair towards your parents if you had a baby :). If you are a sure you wont have a kid and you cant wait go for it
But wasnt there a saying, sabar ka phal mitha hota hai?
p.s. You dont need to tell your parents you are going or had sex :halo:
where will you do it though if you are not living together?in the car? or will you check into a hotel?if you do that in Pakistan they will ask you for a nikkah nama so keep a copy of that if you decide to check into a hotel.people can get fake ones too here just to get laid..lol
egjectly man its non of parents business to tell boys/girls not or to have physical relationship with their husband/wife after or before rukhsati:halo: …
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