Re: Sex Education & Muslim Youth
Our method of raising children contrasted with the other forms
Peace All
Just to put a few things into context there are some misplaced understandings regarding the teaching of sex and body and maturity to children as they get older and inshaAllah I will deal with all that here.
I will present my argument by contrasting our approach against the pro-Western and the bury head in the sand approach ... both of which lead to similar results.
It is a fact that Islam vouchsafes the best methodology for preventing promiscuous activity. The wisdom behind its rulings and methods behind its teachings are so profound and real that they are applicable to every people in every age.
Stage 1 - The label
It is important that children know the names of the body parts. This increases their knowledge and they can tell us accurately when they have a medical issue.
To help children label we will not ignore them if they ask what certain genitalia are called, but we will give them baby names. We will not at the same go out of our way to tell them the names of those things like we might for the features on the face. This will begin to set in place a taboo nature and distinction between the items on the face to the items in their pants.
Stage 2 - The dirty
Children are very good at picking up expressions of disgust and these form their basic understandings of good and bad. By ignoring children touching their privates it will only crystalise their idea that there is no shame in those things, on the other hand by telling them to do it or showing ones own body organs will encourage them too. Only when we actively show disgust and strictness with regards to privates can the children be prepared for the next stage of development.
Stage 3 - The sacred
It is important to teach children the idea of sacredness and purity, secret and shame and these things can be instilled at the early school years with regard to members of the opposite sex, the boys should not be told to hate girls or stay away from them, nor should they be told to do the opposite, rather boys and girls should be told to respect each other and that they are sacred and to be honoured. This will set in place a psychological barrier between them and the member of the opposite sex so a degree that will instill in them awe and hence apprehension to approach for physical contact, thus preparing them for the next stage of development.
Stage 4 - Control
In this stage the children will begin to show signs of attraction to members of the opposite sex and in this they should be trained to be careful of the whispers of the Shaitan and warned of the sins related to touching a member of the opposite sex, in a manner which is not allowed. i.e. we tell them that we cannot kiss girls, etc ... We should teach the children how to fast with mind as well as body and that will help them control themselves in these matters. To think that they are brother and sister is another good tactic. By ignoring the children in their developments then children will become very sly but by being over open about things such as allowing porn magazines will make them shameless about things. Both of these approaches is not what I have indicated in my initial post. Rather we have tried to eliminate all forms of sexual stimulus from the lives of our children such as no TV so they cannot see adverts because in them are ideas that they will use.
Stage 5 - Biological Function and Disease Education
This is the advanced form of sex education that we will teach ourselves not by ignoring our children but by making them experts in the functions of their own bodies and the bodies of their future partners. This will be a cross-linking process of reproduction as a topic from the genetic perspective, looking at the language that the Qur'an uses and associating it to the bounties given to us by Allah (SWT). Looking at the sin elements in detail and rationalising to some degree with statistics of diseases related to those regions.
Now to set the record straight I don't think Pakistani cultural norms are anything like this method not do I think the pro-Western methods are like this either. We will be both take primary responsibility for the "sex" education of our children and ensure that it is prevented to be learned from other avenues as much as possible. To the extent that I as a governor of my son's school will influence this and ensure that the language of children is kept clean, because concepts develop from bad language also.