[quote]
Originally posted by Khairun Nisa:
*Don't you get a sore from sitting on the fence? :-P *
[/quote]
yeah.. a cold one at that.
and since things are so unsure coz no one can guarantee where life will take us, I know you'd give me a Eucalyptus chest rub.
PA, no need to tell us where you like your rubs.
anybody who has sex before marriage is considered a HOE! girls should keep their coochie to themselves (lol) and guys should also keep their schlongggg in their pants! and thats THAT!
[quote]
Originally posted by Mem Sahib:
**But it could equally be the most wonderful experience of your life - it could enhance the relationship.. make it complete... make you closer... why be so pessimistic yaar?
[This message has been edited by Mem Sahib (edited April 17, 2002).]**
[/quote]
i have talked to a lot of guys about it.I tell you one thing from my personal experience. i am not sure when the girls think about their boyfriends. but the guys significantly are lying. they just want to have sex.plain fact.
unfaithfulness arises in these situations. a girl, when she meets someone, might already be out of three or four relationships. similar is is the case with the guys.
remember, the first person you ever have sex with is the one that you carry much of your affection and love for. sex is more than just intercourse. it has a lot of pyschological effects.
and i think this is the main reason that the western marriages are so fragile. cheating is just becoming a normal thing.
....waisay bhee door kay dhol suhanay
i am not sure if it is as exciting as it seems
If it's worth it then it's worth waiting for.
There are those times when situations are not in your control.. It not Just about getting laid.. its about emotions.. it about getting close to each other.. to love each other.. to me its no different then a Hug or a kiss...
[quote]
Originally posted by Mem Sahib:
Would you do it?
What are the pro's and con's?
Would you understand why someone Did?
[/quote]
I wouldn't do it.
Like someone said before there are no pro's (I think).
But I would understand if somebody did. Cuz that's none of my business. But I am really against it that some teenagers do it while they are so young. I think you should be atleast 18 to do it.
[quote]
Originally posted by PakistaniAbroad:
...coz no one can guarantee where life will take us.
[/quote]
How can you be so sure?
PS: I only use the finest blends of Marjoram.
PA, if the relationship is public, what are your views then? For example, people get engaged (making their relationship public) but get married years after.
Abdullah Bhai: Is it always the case that a person regrets going through the sexual experience with someone who he/she isn't married to? Or just most of the time? And what if they don't, like Mem Sahib claims, is it justified then?
Just to throw in some more ideas; what about the Clinton like sex, in other words where you don't go all the way? And what constitute going all the way? What about the notion of not looking at someone with the intention of sex, even if its someone you would like to marry but haven't yet married.
My personal opinion is exactly what Shirin baji said, if it's worth it, then it's worth waiting for!
what if two people are engaged and love each other very much.....but are not ready to get married yet for few more yrs because of several reasons e.g education, family responsibilities, career etc. Is it worth waiting for such long time? Wouldn't they have some serious negative psychological affect if they wait for such long time?
http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/hehe.gif
hahahah, and what would that be?
[quote]
Originally posted by ahmadjee:
Abdullah Bhai: Is it always the case that a person regrets going through the sexual experience with someone who he/she isn't married to? Or just most of the time? And what if they don't, like Mem Sahib claims, is it justified then?
Just to throw in some more ideas; what about the Clinton like sex, in other words where you don't go all the way? And what constitute going all the way? What about the notion of not looking at someone with the intention of sex, even if its someone you would like to marry but haven't yet married.
My personal opinion is exactly what Shirin baji said, if it's worth it, then it's worth waiting for!**
[/quote]
Ahmed Bhai Your question can be best answered by an array of individuals with different views and values. Having sex before marriage, or sleeping with your partner before marriage is rather a very personal issue and choice. The situation becomes even complicated when many of your best friends stay on permanent basis with their girlfriends. It does not stop us from being friends or having any lack of personal respect for each other. But, the issue becomes personal when you are put to the test and at that time you have to know what serves your own best interests in terms of morality and character, and not what other people do. Whether, the outcome- in the heat of the moment - can hurt you and the other person, and just be strong enough to walk away from that situation.
I think relationships are much much more than just getting laid. Sex is part of a relationship, but if that's all you are interested in, then there's a likely chance that you will miss out on rest of all the fun stuff.
[This message has been edited by Abdullah k (edited April 18, 2002).]
http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/eek.gif
I just hate Microsoft for being so unfair to Apple users
[This message has been edited by Abdullah k (edited April 18, 2002).]
Abdullah Bhai: Agreed, but please do something about your browser (or the clicking mouse) you are posting twice all over the forums! →
Mmm wow this post grew quickly!
I agree with Abdullah K on this one..
Im not talking about casual sex .. like I said.. I'm talking about two people who are very much in love and do plan to get married one day... What if they meet one time and Just end up making love.. not out of lust.. or anything pervy.. just purely for the reason they love each other and it feels right to them..
I know Islam says its wrong.. .. and at the end of the day.. its down to each person how they deal with it afterwards...
I think maybe I'd feel too guilty afterwards but I also know that being in the arms of the person you love... making love would seem like the most natural thing to do...
You really need to be in love with someone.. feel close to this special someone.. and then understand what point i'm trying to make...
[quote]
Originally posted by Jal_Pari:
what if two people are engaged and love each other very much.....but are not ready to get married yet for few more yrs because of several reasons e.g education, family responsibilities, career etc. Is it worth waiting for such long time? Wouldn't they have some serious negative psychological affect if they wait for such long time?
[/quote]
well they get into a NIkah, where they will not get married in a sense but are married...that will help them until they stabilise.
[quote]
Originally posted by Mem Sahib:
Have either of you been in love or in any proper loving relationship?
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I sort of do have empathi for the situation you are trying to tell about. But for me Islam is the ultimate way of living. Even though feelings were strong, as in very strong, it wouldnt change the fact that this is unacceptable, regardless of any type of justification one might have. There is no flexibility whatsoever, as far as pre-marital sex is concerned. Beleive me that indulging into such an act will cause more problems than they will solve, even if ones feelings and heart tell you otherwise.
1) Not applicable to me.
2) I have no clue about pro's & con's. But if ur partner knows that u have done it he/she will not be happy for sure. Mine is understanding but wasn't happy to know my past.
3) Yes I can understand that.
Opinion. Wait until u get married .... I am not talking through religious point of view rather talking as my own opinion. I cant turn back time if I could ... I would do the same as I now suggest to other people. But, decision is yours (I mean decision is of the person who is in control of his/her life).