Would you do it?
What are the pro’s and con’s?
Would you understand why someone Did?
[QUOTE]
Originally posted by Mem Sahib:
**Would you do it?
Did not do it and would not recommend as then you will miss the suspense and charm
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What are the pro’s and con’s?
Both R not fair from social as well as religious(moral) point of view.
Would you understand why someone Did?
Will try but Why to do so? its not good to rationalize some thing which you think R not conscious satisfying!
If some one makes a mistake, he should repent it and not to do it again, he will be surely forgiven in this as well as other world.
- No
- No pros
- Yes, but that doesnt change the fact that it is totally and unambigously unacceptable.
Have either of you been in love or in any proper loving relationship?
[quote]
Originally posted by Mem Sahib:
Would you do it?
What are the pro's and con's?
Would you understand why someone Did?
[/quote]
Is that with the person you r supposed to get married?
In life alot of people Love someone but dont always get to marry them.. They like to think they will.. but who knows what is written in their destiny...
But yes sleep with someone who you hope some day you will marry..
I'm not talking about casual sex.
That's the worst possible act one can commit. Apart from lust and falling prey to one's sexual desires, it's a matter of two lives which may never be the same again. After sex, you may find out that it was the only attraction between you two and that could spell the end of a relationship- which could lead to more emotional trauma. Control your harmones and enjoy the relationship as is until you get married.
But it could equally be the most wonderful experience of your life - it could enhance the relationship.. make it complete... make you closer... why be so pessimistic yaar?
[This message has been edited by Mem Sahib (edited April 17, 2002).]
[quote]
Originally posted by Mem Sahib:
**In life alot of people Love someone but dont always get to marry them.. They like to think they will.. but who knows what is written in their destiny...
But yes sleep with someone who you hope some day you will marry..
I'm not talking about casual sex.**
[/quote]
when one is uncertain about the future, nothing says "careless" and "casual" more than counting one's eggs before they are hatched.
marriage involves 'publicity'. If a relationship is 'public', there could be a discussion on the subject.
Otherwise it falls under casual.. Denial doesn't make it otherwise.
So it shall be written, so it shall be done
Thats BULL Paki-abroad!
Its not denial at all.. Noone can see into the future.. so things are Unsure coz no one can gurantee where life will take you.. We can all PLAN but doesnt mean we know what is around the corner..
All this uncertanty doesnt make things casual!
Its not about counting eggs before they hatch - we all have dreams!
[This message has been edited by Mem Sahib (edited April 17, 2002).]
Can chickens be b******s?
[This message has been edited by Khairun Nisa (edited April 17, 2002).]
well Mem, are we talking about a 'public' relationship?
KN .. depends on who comes first
The worst thing that could happen is that you don't get married to the person you have sex with, right? (Other than the fact that u will burn in hell and all that jazz :)
There r three kinds of personalities…
Sensitive and realistic ones…They can not deal with the emotional trauma that follows the bang. These ppl live lives carefully and avoid such activities.
Living the moment and laid back ones…They deal with things as they come along. They live in the present and enjoy what life has to offer.
And the most popular - Thurky ones…They will talk about sex, they will talk about naked bodies and jerk off when it comes to the real deal.
My advice to u would be to make sure u know urself before u step in the field. U only have to answer urself..its that easy.
[quote]
Originally posted by PakistaniAbroad:
**
KN .. depends on who comes first **
[/quote]
Non-issue.
I thought 'twas like once a b**d, always a b**d.
Don't you get a sore from sitting on the fence? :-P
If it's just a matter of getting laid, then I think anyone would go ahead and do it. But, really it comes down to one's own conscious. I don't think you will have the same kind of honor and respect left for the other person, especially if it's a serious relationship and you both have known each other for an extended period of time. If you have just met someone and all you want out of each other is the fulfillment of sexual fantasies, then you have to look deep into your own character and find out whether this act will tarnish your morality and sense of pride in any sense.
'Getting' laid is no big deal, it's the repercussions you really have to keep in mind.
Allah (SWT)'s order in the Quran to stay away from Zina.
"And those who invoke not any other god along with Allah, nor kill such life as Allah has forbidden, except for just cause, nor commit illegal sexual intercourse (zina) and whoever does this shall receive the punishment. The torment will be doubled to him on the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide therein in disgrace; except those who repent and believe and do righteous deeds, for those Allah will change their sins into good deeds, and Allah is Oft Forgiving, Most Merciful." (al-Furqaan #25, ayat #68-70)
"And come not near to unlawful sexual intercourse. Verily, it is a faahishah (a great sin) and an evil way." (Sura Al-Israa # 17 ayah # 32)
"Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from Zina illegal sexual acts, etc.). That is purer for them. Verily, Allah is All-Aware of what they do.
"And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from Zina illegal sexual acts, etc.) and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent (like palms of hands or one eye or both eyes for necessity to see the way, or outer dress like veil, gloves, head-cover, apron, etc.), and to draw their veils all over Juyubihinna (i.e. their bodies, faces, necks and bosoms, etc.) and not to reveal their adornment except to their husbands, their fathers, their husband's fathers, their sons, their husband's sons, their brothers or their brother's sons, or their sister's sons, or their (Muslim) women (i.e. their sisters in Islam), or the (female) slaves whom their right hands possess, or old male servants who lack vigour, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And all of you beg Allah to forgive you all, O believers, that you may be successful." (Sura # 24, Ayat #30 and 31)
Hadith warning against not even coming close to Zina
"Abd-Allaah ibn Masood (RAA) said: I asked the Messenger of Allah (SAW), Which sin is worst in the sight of Allah? He said, To make any rival to Allah, when He has created you. I asked, Then what? He said, To kill your child for fear that he will eat with you. I asked, Then what? He said, To commit zinaa with the wife of your neighbour." (Reported in Sahih Al-Bukhaari, Hadith #492 and In Shaih Muslim, Hadith #90).
"Rasulullah (SAW) explained: If one of you were to be stabbed in the head with a piece of iron it would be better for him than if he were to touch a woman whom it is not permissible for him to touch." (Reported by al-Tabaraani; see also Saheeh al-Jaami, 5045).
This refers to the punishment for touching, so how about worse deeds, such as embracing and kissing, and even worse kinds of illicit activity?
Rasulullah (SAW) said, "Whenever a man is alone with a woman the Devil makes a third." (Al-Tirmidhi 3118, Narrated Umar ibn al-Khattab, Tirmidhi transmitted it as authentic) note: So we should always try not to be alone with a woman who is not mahrum to us and not even go close to Zina.
O Allaah, we ask you to show us Your mercy and to protect us from immorality; we ask You to purify our hearts and to keep our private parts chaste, and to place a barrier between us and what is haraam.
Repentance from Zina
Ibn Abbaas (RAA) said: There is no major sin if one asks for forgiveness, and there is no minor sin if one persists in repeating it.
So if one wants to repent from having made the great sin of Zina he should remember these 4 things..
1) Do not despair, for Allah the Most Exalted and Glorified said in the Quran "Say: Oh my servants who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the mercy of Allah, for Allah forgives all sins; for He is oft-forgiving, most merciful." [Surah 39, Verse 53]
2) Let your repentance be truly from your heart, and stay away from all sources of temptations. Also, perform many good deeds, as good deeds abrogate the bad ones.
3) If you repent to Allah, you are no longer described as a fornicator (zaani). Therefore, you can marry a chaste man or woman.
4) The believer has high hope and aspiration for the best from Allah. He not only asks Allah for making his punishment easy in hellfire, but he also prays to Allah the Almighty to save him from Hell and award him with paradise for his repentance and good deeds.
Aapki: If you don’t mind, I know you are relaying the divine message but not all of us are muslims here, not all of us want to be bombarded with constant religion (I’m not speaking for myself) I understand your concern but there is a time and place for everything Nahi? Some of us are just talking raw morals and ethics and not religion.
Use your judgement and post wisely, and if you do wanna post this stuff, you know what I’ve noticed? People read what you write not what you’ve thrown from a book.
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I know your doing your duty as a muslim but keep in mind there is a time and place for everything
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The Neighbourhood Nut
Jitna Diya Sarkar Nay Mujko, Itni Meri Auqat Nahi, Yeh Saab Tumhara Karam Hai Aqa, Mujh Mein Aisi Koi Baat Nahin.
It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and the reality of tomorrow.
Brother coco i don’t believe that there should be a certain, ‘time and place’ for Islam, it’s not just a religion, but a way of life, and it should effect every aspect of our life.
Jazak’Allah Khairun