This, I believe is a catalyst in the change we are seeing these days! Bingo! Communities are becoming more accepting. Someone throw rotten tomatoes at me, but so many parents are allowing little kids to watch Bollywood movies these days, how can you expect these kidos to grow up without flaming passion for forbidden romance, even if it is for the sacrificial one-time only deal! And yes, Bollywood movies have a worse influence because you can’t tell the kids that it isn’t OUR culture anymore
How many muslim parents actually sit with their kids these days and talk about hadeeth or sunnah, or teach their kids fear of Allah, taqwa? With increasing distractions and pressures of the society, we parents need to work harder not just in making them better individuals but setting the right example. And not just muslims, but every religion has guidelines which are very similar in approach.
OK Shikra did not want to bring religion into this thread but I couldn’t help it because personally I feel it plays a big role in our lives. OK shoot me.
Just to clarify again, I know religion cannot be separated, but I asked not to bring religion in it because there’s no point of mentioning something that we already (should) know.
And another clarification: When I asked not to bring religion into this discussion and I said that “parents should talk with children”, that does not mean that parents should be accepting premarital sex as something “okay”. That “talk” can include ANYTHING; from “don’t mix with the opposite gender because our religion doesn’t allow it” to “unsafe sex can cause STDs” to “premerital sex is enjoyment for a few minutes but could turn into a lifetime responsibility” to anything that parents want to talk to their children about. **But that point is that parents SHOULD have “the talk” and just because we provide sex ed to our kids, that doesn’t mean that we are accepting the act. **In my opinion, sex ed in school HELPS because if you keep telling kids “don’t do it because religion says so”, some kids may still do it. But if you show them pictures of diseases, they may have to think twice before doing something like this.
Hope this explains why I didn’t want to discuss religion.
If we are talking about strictly Pakistani children, then I think it has a lot to do with peer pressure, identity issues, lack of knowledge and preparation, lust, youth and a myriad of other things.
In my experience, Pakistani kids have identification problems grwing up in the USA and what I mean by that is understanding who they are. The age we are talking about is such a tender age as well. They see sex on TV and in school. At home, mom and dad dont even hold hands! Thats the way it was for me at least. Its a lot of confusion.
I would hope parents from our generation have realized this and would make an effort to create a middle ground. A way for our children to live life as well-educated and informed Muslims. However, it always starts at home. I agree with Niksik's balanced approach. Maybe I can drop my kids off at her house when I have them! :-) Just kidding.
Thank’s for saying that, but I am still an inexperienced mother when it comes to this part of life. My kids are still small and it’s easier said than done.
OK shoot me.