One of my friends got with a girl recently and some of us were quite surprised at his choice…lets say she wasnt the best looking gal iv ever seen…what it came down to though when we were chatting is hes not particularly attractive himself…gals are shallow like boys and he doesnt usually get girls…so now he settled for whatever girl he could get…he admits he doesnt really like her but hey shes there…and shes willing…
For me that would be a horrible admission to make…i would hate to be in a situation where i felt i was completely incapable of getting girls i want…My boy wants attractive girls but realises he cant get them so settles for ugly ones…
I cant see how that can lead to happiness…but then again is it better to settle beause that seems his only option?..lol we’ve always suggested the go back home route…that way he can have an attractive girl…
But how do people feel about that…im generally feel im not lacking…there is a niche of girls i cant generally touch but would love to…which are mixed race girls but i do believe i can get them…i still miss her …its just i tend not to…they tend to like their fully black men…so i meet attractive asian gals…im satisfied with that…its not my 1st choice but im happy with that…i do one day wish i will get that elusive mixed race gal …but if i dont i wont be unhappy…asian gals do me just fine…
What then when you arent happy with the girl or boy you have but realise that is the best you can do…my friend isnt even attracted to the girl he is with…hes just going through the motions…whats worrying is that when he settles he will probably settle with a girl he isnt physically attracted to…
So do guppies advise that he settles or he should just hope to get an attractive girl?
P.S If i sound shallow…physical attraction is a huge factor…personality is for friends…looks and personality is for lovers…thanks…
Hm... well i may be wrong, but i happen to think a good personality is what makes someone attractive.... someone with ag ood heart and character just radiates somethign that you can't get from makeup or some drugstore shelf... is she good to him? Does she feel the same way, that he's her second best, that shes not attractive enuff to get someone better looking?
well, yeah, it did sound shallow... maybe because you said nothing at all about the girl except that she was not pretty. So? That doesn't stop her from being maybe the best thing that will ever happen to your friend.
As for the friend, he doesn't deserve much then if that is how he talks about a girl he is with. That alone speaks volumes about his loyalty.
Myself, I feel very sorry for the girl, she deserves better than this.
He's not listening to his inner voice. Like you said, just going through the motions. He's going to regret it later. He's settling for something he doesn't really want. That's an injustice to himself and to this poor girl too. Doesn't every girl want to feel adored and loved. He can't ever provide that for her so let her find someone who thinks she's the best.
Looks do matter. Physical attraction is just part of the package. It's just a part of all the personal requirements that a person has, it's natural. I don't think it's shallow as long it's not the main factor in finding a wife.
your friend needs to realize that by settling for some girl just because he thinks this is the best that he can do he is not only setting himself up for trouble but also playing with the girls feelings who might actually have feelings for him. but then again if he cared about her feelings we wouldnt be having this discussion right?
so lets just talk about how its going to effect him.....if in the future he starts getting attracted to some girl who shows some interest in him life might start getting hard......
Even if the girl was ok-looking but they had some sorta sweet chemistry together or can be good friends....it will be a good partnership, i wont call u shallow becuz it is your friend who admitted to her not being pretty and him settling out of lossof hope....but as a friend u should knock some sense into the guy....tell him if he thinks he cant find a pretty face he can find someone who has a good personality like Sara mentioned above.....
He's not that attractive himself and girls are shallow like men so he's going with what he can get?
So you're saying that the guy should wait around till Angelina Jolie falls for him otherwise any guys with a girl that is so-so is "settling"
Now if he is with someone who he doesn't like...that's another thing...and not good.
But valuing his girlfriend based on how good she looks is another..though my husband says men do value other men based on the women they are with i.e. if a guy has a hot girl the guys give the guy props...
Poor her.. i really feel bad for her. ... poor poor her...
i hope she knows what she's getting into..
oh, and if your pretty boy buddy thinks that he could have done better in the looks department.. he should’ve, not just settled for what he believes is plain jane... this way he'll never be happy and his mind will be searching for someone else while being with that girl, leading to a really miserably tormented conclusion on both sides.
Looks do matter. Physical attraction is just part of the package. It's just a part of all the personal requirements that a person has, it's natural. I don't think it's shallow as long it's not the main factor in finding a wife.
Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. You find your husband attractive, other girls may find him hideous. Your husband finds you attractive, other guys may find you hideous.
Actually, I should not say "may". I can guarantee you there is at least one person per gender that would find you and your husband hideous.
Whenever I read these kind of threads, it reminds me of my friend. He would make fun of people who had odd features...looked down upon people who were not showcase material. He died when he was 21. He didn't even get a chance to 'settle' with a 3rd best.
May god forgive us all, make us humble and give us the sense to cherrish our health instead.
OK...I think your being a bit harsh on him...hes hardly an isolated case...the girl is into him...so naturally a guy is going to like that...hes with her because she is into him rather than him being into her...shes a nice girl...but thats it...if she wasnt into him he would never have tried to get with her...
He liked a girl at the beginning of uni but the fact is she doesnt like him...im not saying that her reasons were purely physical...i dont know her reasons but the fact is...he isnt exactly brimming with confidence...her saying no hit him quite hard...like i said he cant get the girls he wants...pathmani was attractive and she was a fun gal...but she was out of his league...and naturally he doesnt want to deal with girls in his league as such which is what he is doing...
So he wants certain girls but he can only get certain girls...currently hes with a girl because shes into him...hes not into her...he likes his girl but feels no physical attraction towards her...she always initiates physical affection etc...whilst in reality he wants pathmani but cant have her...
There should be a clear distinction between those things that you can compromise and those that you can't.
Never settle on those things that you can't bring yourself to compromise on otherwise, not only will you make your own life miserable, but you'll destroy another's as well.
…its just i tend not to…they tend to like their fully black men…so i meet attractive asian gals…im satisfied with that…its not my 1st choice but im happy with that…i do one day wish i will get that elusive mixed race gal 
…but if i dont i wont be unhappy…asian gals do me just fine…