Seriously...this whole supporting the parents business!

[mirage]

Re: Seriously…this whole supporting the parents business!

@Ashy2010

All this discussion has left me thinking about the possible future of my widow mom. When her daughters will be married off, and her ONLY son will be married, there is a possibility that her wife won’t like to stay with my mom and we can’t force her and my brother to keep my mom with them (Islamically, her wife will have a right to live separately).

Even if the daughters support my mother (with our husbands consent using our/ our husbands income), we know all desi moms think that its son’s duty to support the parents rather than daughters responsibility. They don’t even like staying with daughters for longer periods of time.

I can just hope for the best that my SIL has enough Allah ka khauf that she keeps my widow mom with her but from what I learn here on GS that we cannot just force her to do so. She can decide to stay away from my mom at any point and she will be right Islamically. It will be upto my brother to be careful when choosing his life partner but there is no guarantee that his wife will continue to stay with my mom for life. My mom will need medical care and expenses because she has no source of income. Desi parents are willing to accept care and khidmat from daughters but for financial support/ living together, they look to their sons. How can we be so insensitive to our parents needs?

Think of your self, can you be cold shouldered enough to do such a thing? Again, its the mothers who have to be considerate and understanding as how to keep the ghar ka mahol peaceful and clean. If your or my mother is bent on creating problems with her DIL and always looking for so and so reasons to interfere in the personal and pvt affairs of her son and DIL, im sorry but she is NOT SINCERE with each of them. And sowing this, what else will we reap? What I believe is, the DILS can be immature, nonsense and stupid, it depends on the the buzurgs of the family to act like the buzurgs, and not the competitors. If they are graceful and respect worthy, they know how to earn it :k: unless a DIL is an evil of a person, an ordinary imperfect girl can bear a kind and understanding MIL for sure.

Dont be so apprehensive about the future of your mom ashy, my mom’s situation is same as yours, my bro is married and masha Allah things are much better in the house BECAUSE of mutual understanding and cooperation of the both. If one/any of them was evil and stubborn, things would have been veyr otherwise. Bhabi knows how to respect the elders and Mom knows how to retain it. Alhamdolillah.