I don’t seem to get it… I just asked an old old friend …we were friends since we were 8 years old…so she is preggers too a couple of weeks behind me .. I see her online so ask her hows it going… what week she is in… you know any support is welcome in this state…but I guess not … she kept ignoring my questions and kept asking me what week I was in ..when my last appnt was and when my next is…blah blah and I kept answering then when I persisted with my question…she just went offline…
I don’t understand …what is up with women and keeping everything secretive… the one who comes into this world with or without probs is who Allah brings… the one who doesn’t make it …doesn’t make it coz Allah destined it so…
Just wanted to vent… can’t get these stupid thoughts out of my head… i’m hurt…
i went to a wedding in pakistan ...saw my cousin..she was 9 months pragnant..i asked her when she is due she said "oh my husband said dont tell anyone" then i asked is it a boy or girl? she replied " oh my husband said dont tell anyone..im sorry but he thinks I might get NaZar"
lol and look at me... after opening a thread on keeping it a secret in the first trimester, I went around and told all my friends and co-workers and now telling ANYONE who I come across .... I just couldn't keep quiet :p
This is precisely why superstitions are discouraged so strongly in Islam.
In believing that something like "nazar" or someone's envy/jealousy can impact our destinies we are, in my opinion, committing shirk.
what i hate is how they dont tell jack bout themselves even when blanky asked and yet have the audacity to ask you the same questions! and u like an idiot ANSWER THEM.. that pisses me off so much bout myself!
dont assume anything negative towards her ... she may have been going through some complications or may have miscarriage (god forbid).. she may doesnt want to give you any kind of stress at this stage.... someone i know who lost the full term baby and the family hide it from me because i was due sometime after soon..
BTW Im not justifying the woman’s behavior or saying she was correct to treat her friend Automne like that. Protecting yourself from evil eye does mean you should shut out your friends or answer rudely to people or keep all information private all the time. It also doesnt mean getting taweezes from peers and making potions and pinning blue beads to your baby or tying black string. Islam recognizes evil eye and also teaches us the correct ways to protect ourselves from its effects
@yourfriend ... I get that might be the case but we have had such a relationship that she has almost always cried on my shoulders whenever something not great has happened in her life....
I know she doesn't share the same outlook in islam as me... she is of a different sect... and all of that ...and this is just the 3-4 time she is doing this.... I saw in a dream that she was preggers so I asked her... and that is also when I shared my news with her... she questioned me to no end about my pregnancy but kept mum on hers... I didn't hold it against her coz she hadn't completed her first trimester... I was like ok.... but then she started asking me questions again and I was like are you or are you not preggers coz you seem to have way too many questions and way too much insight for someone who is not preggers.... guess what she fesses she is preggers... all i did was give her duaas ...shared my pregnancy and how things are at my end and if they helped her any.... this happened again... and now once more ...this time I actually thought I should email her but then changed my mind.... I mean seriously what am I gonna do ... take ur baby away..... some ppl naa....
sorry for the long post ...guess I'm still not over this whole thing yet... or maybe it is the hormones..
This is precisely why superstitions are discouraged so strongly in Islam.
In believing that something like "nazar" or someone's envy/jealousy can impact our destinies we are, in my opinion, committing shirk.
Muzna nazar exists in Islam. If it didn't there would not be dua's to remove nazar.
i went to a wedding in pakistan ...saw my cousin..she was 9 months pragnant..i asked her when she is due she said "oh my husband said dont tell anyone" then i asked is it a boy or girl? she replied " oh my husband said dont tell anyone..im sorry but he thinks I might get NaZar"
i was hurt too :(..
To be honest, I can relate to why she wouldnt tell you this, or why her husband might have asked her not to disclose the due date and gender. Honestly, it brings in a lot of unwanted questions, and unneeded prodding. If you tell people that your due date is XYZ, questions will start pouring in at least 2-3 weeks before that date (have you delivered yet?.... you look so big...you should have delivered by now), and even worse, should you happen to go beyond your due date! And all these queries are unwelcome, and not called for.
As for gender, it is kept a secret not because of any superstition, but primarily because gender determination is not an exact science during pregnancy. Ive seen and heard doctors go wrong many times.
I think one should just follow the dont ask dont tell policy in this regard.
so was I.. my high school best friend didn't tell me about her pregnancy despite the fact that we were talking occassionally on msn. This one fine day she asked me teh usual "Am I khala yet" question, I answered and of ocurse asked the same question in return, she changed the topic.. I just ignored it, then she told me taht she had quit working and is on a "long break" I asked her why was that and again she changed teh topic.. 3 weeks later, I saw the pics of her baby on facebook.. yes she was pregnant and was about to deliver a baby but decided to hide it from me.. I was shocked and hurt.. not to mention, she doesn;t hold the same place in my heart anymore.. you just don't hide such big things from your friends!
Guys, thats the main point of Muzna’s post. Nazar does exist, yes, but we should also have more faith in Allah SWT than the existence of nazar. What Allah SWT wills, happens. And what He doesn’t, doesn’t happen. Its as simple as that, yet people make it all so complicated.
Anyway, I can never share info with anyone who keeps their life a secret
Heyyy dont get so pissed off…sumtymz the inlaws pressurize the girl to hide it from every1 coz of buri nazar… she must b under the same pressure!!!
my MIL believe in nazar as well…lets c wat she advises me wen my tym cumz
so chilll out sweetyyyy
I don't seem to get it..... I just asked an old old friend ...we were friends since we were 8 years old...so she is preggers too a couple of weeks behind me .. I see her online so ask her hows it going... what week she is in... you know any support is welcome in this state...but I guess not ... she kept ignoring my questions and kept asking me what week I was in ..when my last appnt was and when my next is...blah blah and I kept answering then when I persisted with my question....she just went offline....
I don't understand .....what is up with women and keeping everything secretive..... the one who comes into this world with or without probs is who Allah brings... the one who doesn't make it ...doesn't make it coz Allah destined it so....
Just wanted to vent.... can't get these stupid thoughts out of my head.... i'm hurt...
Is everything OK with her pregnancy.....it just seems odd not to answer at all...usually if they wanna keep it a secret, the person answers but in an awkward way...fact that she did answer makes me wonder if something went wrong God for bid.
@yourfriend ... I get that might be the case but we have had such a relationship that she has almost always cried on my shoulders whenever something not great has happened in her life....
I know she doesn't share the same outlook in islam as me... she is of a different sect... and all of that ...and this is just the 3-4 time she is doing this.... I saw in a dream that she was preggers so I asked her... and that is also when I shared my news with her... she questioned me to no end about my pregnancy but kept mum on hers... I didn't hold it against her coz she hadn't completed her first trimester... I was like ok.... but then she started asking me questions again and I was like are you or are you not preggers coz you seem to have way too many questions and way too much insight for someone who is not preggers.... guess what she fesses she is preggers... all i did was give her duaas ...shared my pregnancy and how things are at my end and if they helped her any.... this happened again... and now once more ...this time I actually thought I should email her but then changed my mind.... I mean seriously what am I gonna do ... take ur baby away..... some ppl naa....
sorry for the long post ...guess I'm still not over this whole thing yet... or maybe it is the hormones..
its good you cleared out few things... u know your friend better than me...i just mentioned one of the possibilities of why she may be hidding things from you......in that case, i wont be bothered by someone's attitude...just let it go :-)
I understand if someone wants their privacy and I respect that; however it is irksome when they constantly ask about yours. It doesn't seem fair to me IMO.
