Parents of second cousin have asked my rishta. I do not like the guy much. We used to be friends (not really good but normal).
Three years back he started to show interest. At first I ignored him but after a while I started liking him.
And we talked to each other once a while. There were no wedding plannings because we are both studying.
By the way I am now 22 and he is 21 :S.
Then I found out six months back that he has having a relationship with another girl . He is not interested to marry her. His girlfriend was an hindu girl.
HE still wants to marry me but I hate him.
I told my mom everything but she still wants me to marry him. MY parents are forcing me to marry him.
And I do not have any family member who is on my site. They all say that young guys to things like that
What should I do now? elope?
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Your parents can pressure all they want.......but the marriage isn't valid until it has your approval.
1) Talk to your parents calmly...discus your feelings and the possible consequences of marrying a guy you have no interest in....and moreover that you loathe.
2) If no family member is on your side......then TALK to your cousin directly. Tell him that you have no interest or desire in marrying him and that it's unfair for you to be pressured by family. If your cousin has any self-respect.........he won't pursue a girl who has directly turned him down. If that doesn't work............then have the courage to talk to your cousin's parents and tell them that you don't want to marry their son. If they have any self-respect........they won't pursue the rishta.
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why are your parents forcing you to marry him?
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what country do both of u live in ..
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does he belongs to a wealthy family
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^:smack:
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Parents of second cousin have asked my rishta. I do not like the guy much. We used to be friends (not really good but normal). Three years back he started to show interest. At first I ignored him but after a while I started liking him. And we talked to each other once a while. There were no wedding plannings because we are both studying. By the way I am now 22 and he is 21 :S. Then I found out six months back that he has having a relationship with another girl . He is not interested to marry her. His girlfriend was an hindu girl. HE still wants to marry me but I hate him. I told my mom everything but she still wants me to marry him. MY parents are forcing me to marry him. And I do not have any family member who is on my site. They all say that young guys to things like that What should I do now? elope?
Ask him if he can give you some time so that you can go out with another guy.
On a serious note, be resilient. Do no give in. Are they pressuring you SO much that you are considering eloping??
We always blame guys for being loose and fooling around without realizing that many of us women give them such leeway. I just can't believe your mom.
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Don't marry him.
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Why do you hate him? If it's valid reasons then maybe you should consider having a serious talk with your mum. Sit her down and talk properly, open up with her and tell her and try and make her understand.
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Since you guys talked once in a while, I don't think he really knew you liked him so much. And it seems like you're hurt as if he cheated on you but there really wasn't a label on the relationship, so its not really cheating.
Why don't you talk to him about it? Have a complete and open conversation about his relationship and that it bothered you and where the two of you stand today. Please don't get your family involved in this conversation, it is just unnecessary headache.
One year age differnece doesn't matter as long as both of your are mature.
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Your parents can pressure all they want.......but the marriage isn't valid until it has your approval.
1) Talk to your parents calmly...discus your feelings and the possible consequences of marrying a guy you have no interest in....and moreover that you loathe.
2) If no family member is on your side......then TALK to your cousin directly. Tell him that you have no interest or desire in marrying him and that it's unfair for you to be pressured by family. If your cousin has any self-respect.........he won't pursue a girl who has directly turned him down. If that doesn't work............then have the courage to talk to your cousin's parents and tell them that you don't want to marry their son. If they have any self-respect........they won't pursue the rishta.
i have talked to my mom several time but it does not have any effect
i have also talked to this cousin and told him to tell his parents that they should not bother, in the phone conversation he says okay but afterwards he messages me something like 'i thought u want to talk abt something else and u called me after such a long time etc'
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Why do you hate him? .
I agree with cupcake. you should not hate but love that two timer son of a gun.
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i have talked to my mom several time but it does not have any effect i have also talked to this cousin and told him to tell his parents that they should not bother, in the phone conversation he says okay but afterwards he messages me something like 'i thought u want to talk abt something else and u called me after such a long time etc'
Look, Saima..............I believe that you need to be VERY DIRECT with him. Telling him that "your parents should not bother".......doesn't directly tell him how you feel about him. IF you are truly NOT INTERESTED in him.................then tell him, "I don't have any interest or romantic feelings in you. I don't want to marry you. If you care about even as a cousin, please respect my wishes. I'm being pressured by the family....and nobody should get married by force. When the feelings are not mutual....neither the guy nor the girl can be happy." Tum gol gol kyoon baat kar rahi ho? Agar tum us main bilkul bhi interested nahin ho....to seedhi tarha se batao ussay.
And if you still have some feelings for him.......then maybe you need to talk to him about issues that bother you (such as his affair with with other girl). And make a decision after you talk to him...and as suggested by Gaia above...don't get parents involved in this discussion.
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@tlk bhai, are you making fun of me ? at the moment i am having it quit difficult
@ cupcake, i hate him cuz he cheated and he lied to me, he told me that he does not have female friends while he was having an affair at the same moment and i believe in once a cheater is always a cheater. and i think if i will marry him he would think that she has once accepted me so he will do same later on. another reason to not marry him is that it will be really hard for me to trust him again.
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^ Then just be direct with him....instead of talking in pahelian. Tell him you don't want to marry him at all. Tell his parents you don't want to marry him either. If they have any respect for themselves....they'll drop the rishta. They might hold a grudge toward you.....but hopefully they'll stop pursuing you.
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Dear sister, I was making fun of cupcake who asking you why do you hate him
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Look, Saima..............I believe that you need to be VERY DIRECT with him. Telling him that "your parents should not bother".......doesn't directly tell him how you feel about him. IF you are truly NOT INTERESTED in him.................then tell him, "I don't have any interest or romantic feelings in you. I don't want to marry you. If you care about even as a cousin, please respect my wishes. I'm being pressured by the family....and nobody should get married by force. When the feelings are not mutual....neither the guy nor the girl can be happy." Tum gol gol kyoon baat kar rahi ho? Agar tum us main bilkul bhi interested nahin ho....to seedhi tarha se batao ussay.
And if you still have some feelings for him.......then maybe you need to talk to him about issues that bother you (such as his affair with with other girl). And make a decision after you talk to him...and as suggested by Gaia above...don't get parents involved in this discussion.
redvelvet, i think in a relationship there should be trust and respect and i have lost both
and he is not in the country for a few months, he is in pakistan his parents live there
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redvelvet, i think in a relationship there should be trust and respect and i have lost both and he is not in the country for a few months, he is in pakistan his parents live there
Who the hell cares where he lives. You don't necessarily need him to be sitting right in front of your face to tell him that you don't want to marry him....do you? Talk to him...and tell him firmly...that you don't want to marry him.
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Dear sister, I was making fun of cupcake who asking you why do you hate him
oeps sorry, i am very sleepy at the moment:o
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Who the hell cares where he lives. You don't necessarily need him to be sitting right in front of your face to tell him that you don't want to marry him....do you? Talk to him...and tell him firmly...that you don't want to marry him.
i meant by that, that i do not have any contact number