Re: serious marital issues
Yes, children are not planned in many cases, but that’s what I’m baffled about. WHY aren’t they planned? Its the biggest thing in your life, the biggest responsibility that you have to share with your spouse. Everyone knows from the get-go that its important for a child to have both mother and father, and to have a happy, positive environment at home.
If a couple isn’t getting along from the beginning, then they’re aware of the fact that they’re not a good team. Regardless of staying together, their children are never going to get a good, balanced upbringing because of the tension between the parents. And these public, shouting matches surely don’t help. Young children are very perceptive, they are like sponges who see and absorb everything going around them and learn from that. As they grow older, they’re only going to see more and become more aware of the dysfunctional relationship of their family (including mother and father, as well as mother and grandparents).
Obviously you can’t know before you get married how it will turn out. That’s why you spend a year getting to know your spouse and see if things are going okay (without having kids). If not, you cut your losses and move on. A marriage as bad as this one isn’t worth the consequences any future children are going to suffer, as well as the long term effects it will have on your own mental health and well being.