fairly serious. please ont take this a joke as you do many of my other threads.
a family friend,has issues. someone in her own family, relatives, has been taken to the police by another member family. due to sexual abuse/or similar along those lines to a minor. minor being around 12. the perpretator around 25 plus. so the fmaily called the police. however the boys family are in arms about how dare the other family call the police, this issue shouldve been sorted out ghar mein…rather than involving police. etc etc anyway his case is quite serious now and they are awaiting any news from the courts now.
ok now my actuyal family, has written a few things on her twitter account, not naming anyone, but indirect twitters, which makes it obvious to THAT faMILY reading it, that shes talking about them.
so the perpertrators mother comes running into family friends house, and accusing her of spreading gossip and everyone in paksitan even saying it that whats this person writing on twitter. and how shes doing their badnaami even though no names are mentioned in her twitters…
now can someone tell me what our friend has actually done wrong here, why people are making her out to be the bad guy, just because she used twttier either as a base for indrectly syaing how she feels about what he did, or she may even have been talking about someone else. but because these peope are guilty of their own crimes they think its all about them.
Re: serious issue of a family friend please reply genuine.
Sexual abuse is a very serious matter. All the more, when it involves a minor. The family who took the matter to the police did the right thing, regardless if it involved their own rishtaydaar. The accused, who feel that the matter should have been settled "ghar may" are unfortunately behaving in the way most desi people do. This is a social stigma that needs to be irradicated in our community.
As far as your friend's twitter comments go, she has the right to air her opinions as she wants to....however, given the gravity of the situation, and depending on the closeness of all involved, sometimes it's wise to tread lightly, even if she hasn't taken specific names.
At the end of the day, the only thing that matters in all of this is the well being of that 12 yr old child.
Re: serious issue of a family friend please reply genuine.
fairly serious. please ont take this a joke as you do many of my other threads.
a family friend,has issues. someone in her own family, relatives, has been taken to the police by another member family. due to sexual abuse/or similar along those lines to a minor. minor being around 12. the perpretator around 25 plus. so the fmaily called the police. however the boys family are in arms about how dare the other family call the police, this issue shouldve been sorted out ghar mein...rather than involving p[olice. etc etc anyway his case is quite serious now and they are awaiting any news from the courts now.
ok now my actuyal family, has written a few things on her twitter account, not naming anyone, but indirect twitters, which makes it obvious to THAT faMILY reading it, that shes talking about them.
so the perpertrators mother comes running into family friends house, and accusing her of spreading gossip and everyone in paksitan even saying it that whats this person writing on twitter. and how shes doing their badnaami even though no names are mentioned in her twitters.....
now can someone tell me what our friend has actually done wrong here, why people are making her out to be the bad guy, just because she used twttier either as a base for indrectly syaing how she feels about what he did, or she may even have been talking about someone else. but because these peope are guilty of their own crimes they think its all about them.
sorry if im unclear here.
What khatti said. Regarding the postings on Twitter, is that really the wisest course of action? Does your family member really need to air out her feelings on Twitter (for the world to see). Write it in a journal, or a blank Word file. The person who posted on Twitter technically, may not have done anything wrong, but it's a definite gray area.
Re: serious issue of a family friend please reply genuine.
yes but she said it couldve been about anyone. they took the twitter saying personally. no names or case details mentioned, just how she thinks some people should be locked up in prison. as in no names...
Re: serious issue of a family friend please reply genuine.
^ but that's just it Nadz, it could *have been about anybody, but it *wasn't. Did your friend just randomly make a comment without any prior knowledge or frame of reference? No.
Sometimes it's just prudent to keep opinions to yourself, even if you are justified. It's called being the bigger person.
Re: serious issue of a family friend please reply genuine.
hmmmm. I dont know.
However, the reason she did write those things indirectly on her twtiiter account is because the perpertrator did the same thing to her when she as around 11 or 12. but her parents, well her mother i think, told her not to get involved now as you know our desis ghar mein hi baat rako wala type, so to maybe rid of her anger at him doing it again and not just to one but another girl-who also is a secret-police only know about the one girl. so she said she had to vent her feelings, maybe twitter was her way as well getting some sort of hint across to anyone he knew. however as some family members are, ran round her house to confront her. so obviously they know its them.
thats why i didnt think she did anything wrong, because he has done the same thing to her.
Re: serious issue of a family friend please reply genuine.
^ then she needs to hightail it to the police and give her testimony in the victims case as to what she experienced so that this animal can be dealt with he before he inflicts anymore pain on another innocent child.
Re: serious issue of a family friend please reply genuine.
but she wont. and cant. family poltics and all. and her own mother saying dont get involved. what else could she have done but just made it obvious some other way ( twitter) that hes an animal.
Re: serious issue of a family friend please reply genuine.
Well, I disagree. There is alot that can still be done. It all goes back to my original post about irridicating the social stigma from our community. Anonomys potshots on Twitter solves nothing. Neither does remaining silent. I don't think I could ever live with myself or look at myself in the mirror if I remained silent in a situation like you described, knowing that I had information that could quite possibly save someone else from abuse by the hands of a known offender.
Re: serious issue of a family friend please reply genuine.
I think family did the right thing by getting the police involved. This is a serious legal matter and should be taken as one regardless of who is involved. A child's life is PRECIOUS, and I would go to any extent to ensure the person who committed the crime gets what he/she deserves for it.
As for twitter, that is the family member's personal thing. Usually sites like face book and twitter, if used in a careless way, can become a site for rumors and gossip. I don't see anything wrong with your fam member taking out the his/her frustration about the crime but I am not sure if this was the right time for it, as the truth has not yet fully come out and a person is innocent until proven guilty. Even if no names and such were mentioned, this can actually be a very detrimental thing for the child in the future.
Re: serious issue of a family friend please reply genuine.
I'm sympathetic to the girl who was abused and I understand her wanting to shame her attacker. But she has to know that someone who never took responsibility and has no apparent remorse for his actions, added to which his family has defended him, they will come after her for her twitter comments. Did she do wrong expressing her contempt for him - not necessarily, but unfortunately she has to be prepared for the fact that she will have to put up with the hateful comments by his family. Does she want to engage in this sort of online or in-person back-and-forth? That may not be good for her mental well-being.
Re: serious issue of a family friend please reply genuine.
You recently shared that a family member behaved inappropriately with you and has now been caught doing the same to another younger cousin and its now a police case. Is this the same situation you recently discussed?
It may not have been wise for you to have gone on twitter saying these things but at the same time don't be intimidated by his family... dont let them shame you. THEY are the animals with the disgusting pig of a son, not the other way around. They have no mouth to be barking with at this point and if they had any shame they wouldnt be coming after people they should be dying of embarassment at the scum they've raised. Flip it on them...hello!!?!
I cannot for the life of me understand when people do the wrong things or in this case, COMMIT CRIMES especially against children and their own blood and then expect the rest of the khandaan to hush up abbout it or create a huge fuss when people tell it like it really is. I'm sorry but its inexcusable and I wouldnt hide that for them.
Re: serious issue of a family friend please reply genuine.
hmmmm. I dont know.
However, the reason she did write those things indirectly on her twtiiter account is because the perpertrator did the same thing to her when she as around 11 or 12. but her parents, well her mother i think, told her not to get involved now as you know our desis ghar mein hi baat rako wala type, so to maybe rid of her anger at him doing it again and not just to one but another girl-who also is a secret-police only know about the one girl. so she said she had to vent her feelings, maybe twitter was her way as well getting some sort of hint across to anyone he knew. however as some family members are, ran round her house to confront her. so obviously they know its them.
thats why i didnt think she did anything wrong, because he has done the same thing to her.
Like others have said, she needs to report this to the police and help lock this guy up. Respecting family is important, but I think you can see that family may be wrong in this case. Don't force her, but I would definitely encourage you to advise this girl to add her testimony to the report against this guy.
Re: serious issue of a family friend please reply genuine.
You recently shared that a family member behaved inappropriately with you and has now been caught doing the same to another younger cousin and its now a police case. Is this the same situation you recently discussed?
It may not have been wise for you to have gone on twitter saying these things but at the same time don't be intimidated by his family... dont let them shame you. THEY are the animals with the disgusting pig of a son, not the other way around. They have no mouth to be barking with at this point and if they had any shame they wouldnt be coming after people they should be dying of embarassment at the scum they've raised. Flip it on them...hello!!?!
I cannot for the life of me understand when people do the wrong things or in this case, COMMIT CRIMES especially against children and their own blood and then expect the rest of the khandaan to hush up abbout it or create a huge fuss when people tell it like it really is. I'm sorry but its inexcusable and I wouldnt hide that for them.
Nope. Wish it was someone i knew, i would act very differently to my friend.
Re: serious issue of a family friend please reply genuine.
Like others have said, she needs to report this to the police and help lock this guy up. Respecting family is important, but I think you can see that family may be wrong in this case. Don't force her, but I would definitely encourage you to advise this girl to add her testimony to the report against this guy.
already tried. the family think hes punishment is already happening, he most olikely will get some sort of sentence, and even if doesnt, his name has been shamed and people cant even look at him anymore. his family has left him, wife etc, and he wont be allowed to see his children. her parents are just worried that if she starts this ball roling, they will ruin her life someway or the other....
i dono. but i feel she did nothing wrong twitter or not.
Re: serious issue of a family friend please reply genuine.
i have tried. only she knows her family. her husband as much as he is on her side, does want her to get involved. neither do her parents. so what can one do.