I don’t think I’ll ever have the heart to send my daughter away to college. She can stay at home and study locally (we do have some top class universities in the area).
Any other moms (dads) who think like this?
Ps: I blame all those commercials for being so mental about this where they show parents sending kids away with teary eyes (just saw one). going mental wala icon
Re: Sending kids away to college
I am really glad I went away for college. Four of the best years of my life. I love my family; I know it was hard for my (overprotective) parents to let me go -- but they did, and I am truly thankful for it.
Make the best choice for you and your kid, whatever it is. I know it's hard to be certain.
Re: Sending kids away to college
but wud u send ur son away? and make her stay home...that's where the problem starts.
Re: Sending kids away to college
I'm not a mom but I still want to give my opinion!
If you trained your daughter well then you shouldn't set a limit on where she studies. I think going away for college can be a great thing, it really makes people responsible. I always wanted to go away for college studies but wasn't allowed and I really resent it! : (
Re: Sending kids away to college
my brothers have always been allowed to study anywhere in the world, whereas i have to stay at home.
just make sure you set the same guidelines for both.
ps: we also have amazing schools near us, thank God, but i wonder if we didn't would it have made a difference.
Re: Sending kids away to college
No no it's not that I am afraid of her getting into wrong kinda activities. (Only god knows what they'll end up doing once they become independent, let's just hope they wouldn't inshALLAH). It's just that I just can't part with my daughter.
Everytime I see one of those commercials I just can't imagine sending her away some day, same feelings towards her getting married.
My son is not even school going yet so I just havn't started going mental about him.
Re: Sending kids away to college
My mom's sending me away to uni, and it's continents away. :)
This fall, she's sending her son away to uni as well, and it's hours away.
Re: Sending kids away to college
i hope to raise kids well and trust them enough to send them off to college. Now actually affording the campus housing in addition to tuition...umm that's another story. Perhaps for that reason they'd have to go to a local school or work really hard and get some sort fo scholarship...etc...hmm
Re: Sending kids away to college
I’ve studied away from home after 10th grade…so all of college and university. I have to tell you that I learned a lot. In fact I think I appreciated home and my parents a lot more being away from them.
However, I ain’t sending my girls anywhere 
I will die. Die.
I don’t have a son so I can’t say.
Yehi tou mai kehnay ki koshish kar rahi hoon.
I know min bhi apni beti ko nahi bhej sakti I cannot think about sending her away from me its just sad.
On a serious note we have some unis here but if my daughter or son is intellegent enough to get admittion in top notch uni like berkley or stanford or something like that I’ll send them otherwide I will prefer if they stay near me, both of them.mera beta mujhe bohat payara ahi and beti meri jaan hai I cannot send them away but they have to move eventually
Re: Sending kids away to college
hugging UZ and Sajalina
Re: Sending kids away to college
my daughter can go anywhere to study after getting married of course.
for boys, i'll force him to go afterthe age of16.
Reason: a girl shouldn't be alone far away from home for a long time.
a boy on the other hand needs to become independant and responcible to take care of his family.
Re: Sending kids away to college
^ I think they both need those skills.
At the very least, I think it's important to have the same rules for them.
^ I think they both need those skills.
At the very least, I think it's important to have the same rules for them.
I don't think taking care of a family is a skill that you learn in some university. Islamically a man must provide for his family but a woman is not required to do that, I'm not saying that women don't do that....there are plenty of women who are taking care of their husbands and families because of different scenarios.
But it is not expected from a woman to earn for her family but for a man it's an obligation. The only obligation that a woman has to raise her children with love and care, that's all.
Both genders are different physically and psychologically and thus both have different rules. Why do you think majority of the girls become pregnant in teens come from fatherless families? It is natural for men to protect their women and every woman at one stage or another wants protection and security and I believe she should not be deprived of this right.
Boys on the other hand need to become rough and tough so they don't turn out to be *
But you can disagree with me as I'm not saying anyone to raise your kids my way. Everyone has a right to raise their kids in a best way they think that could be, for me it's the guidelines set by my religion and also the nature of parenthood.
Re: Sending kids away to college
My mum stopped me from going to a uni because she doesn’t want me living away from home. 
I hope you parents don’t do the same. :hinna:
I'm not a mom but I still want to give my opinion!
If you trained your daughter well then you shouldn't set a limit on where she studies. I think going away for college can be a great thing, it really makes people responsible. I always wanted to go away for college studies but wasn't allowed and I really resent it! : (
ME TOO!
in my case, the resentment/issues eventually bubbled over into something greater, so for those here who are so sure they can't let their children go, think carefully about WHO your children are and what would be best for THEM, not best for YOU.
every child is different and has different needs and different environments in which they thrive- you must have greater faith in your parenting skills and in Allah and trust that your children will do the right thing. wouldn't you rather have them rebel (if they do so) knowing they can always come home to you on the weekends while they are in university, rather than when they are "grown up" adults and can't find it in themselves to ask for your help? when you live with your parents and they trust you enough to send you away, that trust always stays with you. when you choose to leave by yourself because your parents won't let you go, that trust disappears and you don't have anyone to fall back on when you really need them. which one would you choose for your child?
double post
Re: Sending kids away to college
I was seriously contemplating home-schooling my daughters, cos i didn’t even want them to go to nursery/prep school… Mr Maroush told me to snap out of it…my eldest daughter’s first day at school ensued in buckets of tears for me.. 
Anyway, where we live now was a strategic decision.. we have great private schools and even greater universities in the vicinity, so *hopefully *i can brainwa-- i mean persuade the girls to think about it… but if they want to go to the University of Hong Kong or Columbia NY or help the indigenous people of South America… then fine… i’ll just pine over the loss of my flesh and blood sat at home… everyday .
My parents never held us back from doing anything or going anywhere, in fact they encouraged it… but now i’m the parent, it’s just so hard