I actually think the reasoning you gave is exactly why I would feel the need to give both my sons and daughters the same opportunities. Before I get into that I just want to say that obviously having both parents present is ideal and incredibly important for raising a child. And obviously there are single-parent families out there where kids are raised in a loving, strong, balanced, and effective manner.
Like you said, many children suffer when raised in fatherless homes. Part of that is just because of the strain on a single parent. But part of that is because many women, even in this modern time, are not encouraged to become strong and independent, despite the fact that they are capable of it. That's not to say they HAVE to live that kind of lifestyle; just that if Allah SWT challenges them in a difficult situation they should know and understand their own strengths and abilities in order to bear it successfully.
Also, boys deserve protection too. And that doesn't make them any less "manly". It just means that they aren't buying into some deluded concept of masculinity.
That's your choice and what you decide for your kids don't make you any better than other parents. Besides, my son and daughter would have the same opportunities too, the difference is only that with my daughter, her father, brother or husband should be living near her house. That is the way Islam teaches us.
Also,if you got education and skills, you can easily get a job at anytime. If you never lived without your family doesn't mean you won't get the job.
I was raised with so much love care that i never wanted to leave my house and my parents but i see so many girls today who wait for their uni year to get far away from the house and parents, i can only pray and struggle to raise my daughters with the same love and care I got from my parents. Otherwise i can only discourage her from going alone far from the family, can't force her.
Besides, there are other ways to secure the future of your wife or daughter, i recieved a big portion of money when my father died and i didn't have to spend it because at that time i was living with my brother and studying. I've already started to save for my children so they don't have to struggle financially during their student life. A hadith says it is better for a father to leave for his kids when he dies.
Boys need protection as well but they don't have to wear hijab neither a female relative has to be with them when they're in another city or country. Fighting in a war is an obligation only for men and not for women though they can participate if they wish but it's a fardh on men only, why? Because for women raising their kids and taking care of the household affairs is equal to fight in a war.
And the reason you gave for fatherless children suffering because their mothers were not trained to be strong and independent. I disagree with that and many child experts and psychologists will also disagree with you. Because no matter how strong and independent a woman is, she cannot substitute a man and similarly a man cannot replace a woman.
I know When it comes to marriage, most men don't want a wife who goes to office from 9to5 but every woman wants a husband with a job. It's natural to say that women are not expected to earn for their husbands and family and if she earns, her money belongs to only herself but she has the right over her husband's money.
The girls need more protection from rapists and perverts, that's all I'm saying. I've noticed many men behave differently if they see I'm alone but when they get to know that I'm married they start treating me with respect and dignity.
I wish I could use more examples and could explain myself more clearly but for now this is all i could say and that's the way** I think** me and my husband gonna raise my kids and I don't like when people tell me otherwise because i'm a mature person and the last thing i'd to be a good parent is to ask some advice in a parenting forum on internet.
If you read my first post in this thread, you'd see that i only state my method of parenting and i didn't expect from anyone to come and correct me and teach me how to raise my kids.
I wish you the best.
You will be such a kabab may haddi.
