Its a problem that I’ve always had. I never give myself all that I deserve or strive for as much as I am capable of having. I hear others singing praises of their ownselves and I just feel embarassed doing that. Going for job interviews I would have a hard time hyping my own self up in front of people. With everything, I more or less just settle. Im not unhappy with my decisions, but I know I could do better. Everyone I know tells me that I tend to sell myself short.
Ok I dont know where Im getting at here, but anyone have advice on how to stop it?
You are humble which is great quality to have. Trust me, Allah loves that.
But, you need to give yourself the credit where needed. Not in front of people, but yes in front of interviewers. You have believe in yourself and accept the fact that "THERE IS NOTHING WRONG IN BOASTING ABOUT YOURSELF WHEN THE OPPONENT IS DYING TO KNOW YOU".
This takes some practice. You need to highlight your achievements and qualities with people who love you so feel confident in bringing them up when needed(job interviews etc). It is totally okay to highligh/boast/brag when you are trying to convince someone about your skills etc. who does not know you.
I would tell my brother, mom and they mostly believe in me and and me boost my self-esteem. You have to make sure you are around positive people all the time. Try to stay away from pessimistic and negative people since Islam teaches us to be upbeat and positive at all times.
ahhh skittles thanks for asking this.. iv e the same problem... infact i just did sumthin similar to selling myself short again..... so id lvoe to hear guppies advice on this to.... hw to b like over confident or self confident or wtever it is.... cnt reli explain..... wtever skittles said......:P
Marketing yourself right is not boasting about you. Boasting is exaggeration, which is different than knowing your potential and marketing it in the right manner. Knowing the needs of your potential employer and highlighting the matched skills that you have is the art of giving interviews.
marriedsingle-thanks, makes sense tlk- any tips? somehowcollide- lol actually that's one department i've got covered... I know im awesome and beautiful and I have no problems announcing that to the world if need be. I just dont feel comfortable saying things like how no one could survive without me, or how loved i am etc it feels weird and pretentious.... mysticalrain-What kind of baggage?
personal, emotional - incidents from the past that might have made you think that you werent worth it and might make you think that you still dont deserve things.. could be anything from abuse (verbal, physical) to getting hurt in relationships.
I sell myself short sometimes.. but thats because of what brought me to this point and alot of it had to do with stuff that had happened in the past.
Im not saying that you went thru something bad.. but i've met soo many people who think theyre not worth something because of something someone said/did to them to make them feel this way.
^ uhh yeah, story of my life. Without getting into too many details I was with someone like that and we ended things on a sour note, where I could've seriously killed him if God just gave me one free pass to do such a thing. I tried to get closure and he tried to reconcile many times with me after that, it didnt work. He screwed me over many times evne after our breakup. It still gets me upset to this day. Certain things he said and did to me, sting so badly and get to me whenever something triggers that. I know thats been holding me back from meeting guys worth my while and just settling for just whatever, but not in jobs and otehr things... it doesnt make sense.
I do feel like he hindered me from being the best me i could possibly be and the drama that I went through with him has mellowed me out and humbled me so much...sometimes I look back on my high school days and barely recognize myself. While I was very snobby back then, I was also very confident and outspoken about my accomplishments. Not so much anymore :(
^so if tht phase of your life is over.. then why are you still focusing on the baggage associated with it. He’s gone (alhumdulillah), your in a much better place (alhumdulillah).. so why are u letting this one thing bring you down. Your such a beautiful girl mA.. your bright, ambitious and smart and your strong too.. you just have to get over this fear and I hope you do.. because reminding yourself of the pain you went thru because of someone else is just going to cause you more pain and thats not goin to make anything better!
Allah loves that but most of the people dont. and trust me, you have to live more with the people than with Allah.
So just because most people dont, we shud stop being true to ourselves?
This is what it means when you think about the whole "how will Allah test me" its these exact things in life. So, really even though you live with people all day/ all night.. at the end Allah's the only one judging your actions in totality.. so honestly if people dont care about me or anyone being humble than thats fine because I think who I want to please the most knows!
Allah loves that but most of the people dont. and trust me, you have to live more with the people than with Allah.
This is exactly what your biggest issue is - you are desperate to please people around you - it turns everyone off, Pakistan or no Pakistan. Carry on dude and see where it gets you.
