What I called revenge is actually the best punishment for the person who betrayed you, so that he may learn a lesson and not repeat the same act with any other woman. Sometimes some people need to be punished to teach them a lesson, other wise ISlam would have never given punishment to anyone. What amazes me is that on one side you call him selfish and other words but on other side you are you are still hopeful from his side and in doubt about his intentions.Anyways, it is up to you how you want to continue your life.
Life is too short to be inbetween two ways. Sometimes we need to either live with or without anyone. Living in between is dangerous. If you try to put your feet on two boats you would fall in between, so it would be better to take one boat and sail towards your aim
I believe in the following sayings:
Fool me once, your fault. Fool me twice, my fault.
what i can say that revenge sholud be taken if it is SURE that the boy WILLINGLY betrayed any girl....but if some social pressures...family resistance....and cowardness...is there...its difficult for other to choose that REVENGE way ...because at anytime...he can return with a sorry...having determine mind....or may family happily allowed him to marry on his own choice....so things really move between hope and fear !!!! may it come to hope totally .....
thats what i can say about ....
i would like to be nobly accepted into a family and not pitied on and later guilt tripped for anything.
yes...i agree...this thing may become a problemm in future if something good take place...but i also agree with STP...where your affection does not work....your "Bairukhi" means giving no importance work.... i do not say that be harsh with him...or something like that ...but if you sometimes ignore him...he will definitely find some hollowness as the girl who ones always happy to listen to him...now no one is willing to share his thoughts...his matters and his problems...and if sometimes...this feelings of hollowness...tanhai...udasi...apni mahroomi ka iehsaas persists....there are many chances that he my return....a i pray to alllah that he must return...
kyu kai jub aap ka nafs aadi ho jata hai kai koi aap ko itni importance daita hai...aur phir achanak aap ko iehsaas hota hai aap ko importance daina wala aab nahi raha...to nafs par aik chot parti hai...aik takleef dah iehsaas kha aab meri batai sunnann wala aab koi nahi...yai iehsaasa-i-tanhi hee darsal phir ussai apni ego ko tornai par majboor kar daita hai...and then he realize that how one feels when you hurt someone's feelings.....
i 100 % agree with you...this is just shameful for a boy who do not want to marry and instead of being sorry for what the promisses he made withthe girl about the future life...he is now saying...just be friends....
i will not say a bad word to him...but this thing really bites me that he is not serious with you...may allah will denies my words...but this thing really clicking my mind...and allah knows best...
There is a book called Virtue of Selfishness by Ayn Rand. Nice book to get another point of view.
I think every living creature is selfish. We humans are also selfish, but because we are conscious we are able to debate this.
I think the question is selfish is what respect. Some are slefish to stab others in the back, because they think that gives them what they need, others think that they cannot stab a friend in the back no matter what, because thats what give them fulfilment
Selfishness can be avoided. Do things for others, for their benefit and that is selflessness. Often a selfless act brings happiness, but how often do people do selfless acts thinking about the positive consequences?
We need to be sure with what comes first the happiness after the selfless act or selfless act is consciously performed in order for gaining the happiness. I would argue the former is a genuine model and the latter is a flawed one.
it all goes to your perspective of selfishness.... IMO yes to some extent ALL humans are selfish... :-)
its all based on circumstances a person is going throu... EVERY person in life shows some selfishness to step ahead in life.. lets start with education system... wasn't selfish for me to fight for a seat in a top Uni??? careerwise.. when I accepted the job offer may be there was needy applicant, and I sold myself brilliantly...
what about the news story few months back, when a couple SOLD their newborn to SURVIVE.
we become selfish the moment our own survival comes to question. :-)